Just tested

[Tinchin]

I have read this forums for years and I never thought that I will write this. I am a bi guy 45y/o. I did a rapid test yesterday a d became positive.
Beside I had multiple casual partners I did never perform anal sex withouth a condom nor an break condom accident, nothing. Only oral sex withouth protection to other men, beleiveing that that practise carries very low risk (but the lucky was not on my side)
Now they made me lab test to confirm, but I had shingles last year the doctor beleives that there is.a.correlation and there are high chances that it will be.confirmed.
I am devastating, deeply sad, withouth energy of nothing, eat or work. I don t know how to continue and I dont.have anyone to talk about.
I have a family and I cannot even look at their eyes.
 

[Jim Allen]

Hiya,

Really sorry to hear about the shingles, that sucks but it's just the reactivation of the varicella-zoster virus, that you had been exposed to previously. Lots of people get this at some stage in their lives and I hope the doctor has given you treatment to reduce the duration of the outbreak.

Giving a blowjob is a minute risk, i.e one that does not warrant testing outside of routine.  Now regarding the reactive HIV result, I can understand its a shock however false reactive results on initial antibodies tests is something we see here frequently and its simply not a diagnosis, so no need to panic, all it means is more blood work needs to be done to confirm your positive or negative HIV status.

So try not to overthink things too much, have confirmation testing done and try not to focus on it until then. Now until you have confirmation testing done and a VL result I am going to ask you to only post in this one thread and have moved it to the "AM I" section.

Should the result be negative and I don't hear from you again then keep the below in mind.

Here's what you need to know to avoid HIV infection:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, every time, no exceptions.  Consider starting PrEP as an additional layer of HIV prevention going forward.

Keep in mind that some sexual practices which may be described as safe in terms of HIV might still pose a risk for transmission of other far easier to acquire STI's, so please do get fully tested regularly and at least yearly for all STI's including but not limited to HIV and test more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs

Also, note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and the only way of knowing is by testing.

Kind regards

Jim

Please Note.
As a member of the AM I Infected Forum you are required to only post in this one thread no matter how long between visits or the subject matter. You can find this thread by going to your profile and selecting show own post and it will take you here . It helps us to help you when you keep all your thoughts or questions in one thread and it helps other readers to follow the discussion. Any additional threads will be deleted.

[Tinchin]

Jim
Thanks for your quick answer. The shingles was almost a year ago..I had also had some streptoco angine during last year and I have my palate usually irritated by.some red spots frwquently that magically dissapear.

Altough I was kindly promiscuous in oral sex with occasionally partners,  in some.cases receiving semen I undesrtand the chances are low.
Your message was very calm knowing that in rapid test are false positives. The doctors didn t really show confidence that a negative result could come up with the full test.
One of them only mentioned that are some drugs for women fertility that can affect the result. I am currently taking clomifen to deal with another hormonal issue.
I hope I can get a negative.
I will try to think in another thing but it is difficult, I am very depressed thinking.
Thanks again!!

[Jim Allen]

Strep infections happen in life regardless of HIV status, I get that it's easy to think everything is somehow HIV related but this isn't the case and this doubt thinking isn't very helpful.

Your message was very calm knowing that in rapid test are false positives.

I will try to think in another thing but it is difficult, I am very depressed thinking.

You're welcome.

End of the day if it's a positive test result it's not the end of the world or doom & gloom. HIV with treatment is highly manageable and life can pretty much go on as "normal" if you want it. There are far worse/ bigger things in life to worry about.

Jim

[Tinchin]

Unfortunately I received a positive confirmation
Cd4 382 18% and VL 960,000
Will start 3TC/Tenofovir and darunavir/ritonavir

I am still in shock. It's been a looong day. What I still don't understand is that I always use.condom for anal sex. The only risk situation I had was oral sex with ejaculation..

[Jim Allen]

Hiya,

Sorry to hear about the results. glad that you are starting treatment so soon after diagnosis.  I can understand it's a shock but you are not alone, plenty of us have gone through the shock of being diagnosed. 

What I still don't understand is that I always use.condom for anal sex. The only risk situation I had was oral sex with ejaculation..

I do understand you are still digesting this diagnosis, don't get hung up on this point.

Plenty of possibilities. Giving BJ's in itself as said a very small risk, it's still a risk. Condoms, maybe you missed a break in one, or something you have incorrect dismissed or not mentioned. 

However, at the end of the day, how you acquired HIV is not important, it's as simple that you had an exposure that met all the biological conditions needed. The focus is now on the treatment and getting the VL suppressed.

Cd4 382 18% and VL 960,000
Will start 3TC/Tenofovir and darunavir/ritonavir

When do you have your next follow-up appointment? In 3 months time?
Should see a big decrease in that VL by then.

I've moved your post to the "just tested positive" section so that you can ask questions and gain support from the other members. Should you be looking for information on topics, we have a lot of easy to digest information for newly diagnosed in our welcome thread here https://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=2276.0

For the moment I will ask you to still remain in this one thread.

Best, Jim

[lightalltheway]

Tinshin,

I am sorry for your newly diagnostic status. Nonetheless, modern HIV treatment and health care management is so advanced and we are so privileged.

I can understand that it is hard not to find somebody to talk to. Depending on your geographic location, maybe a counselling session are an option that you can consider when you are ready?

This forum is a heaven for both: Information and a cyber network across the globe. You are not alone, please stay strong and keep us posted.

Prince.