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Author Topic: Sex Parties/Orgies and hiv prevention  (Read 6615 times)

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Offline smaqer06

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Sex Parties/Orgies and hiv prevention
« on: January 23, 2007, 10:24:22 PM »
Hi everyone:

I am REALLY into orgies and sex parties, and I know that you are assuming risks when you go to a sex party in the first place.  There WILL be HIV+ people at any sex party; I know this.  I think they're really fun and I enjoy them a lot.  I'm also a bottom and tend to get quite a bit of action there.  I want to be as safe as possible while also having fun.  So I do some things to cut down my chances:

1. Condoms for anal, no exceptions (I put them on myself to make sure they actually put them on). 
2. No drinking/drugs during or before bc I want to have my wits about me and I think alcohol lowers the immune system.
3. I go to parties that have decent reputations and where people I know have been to them. 
4. I go once every other month. 

I'd like to know if anyone has any advice about orgy/sex party safety.

I'm kind of concerned about condoms breaking/slipping off.
I'm concerned about drugging with GHB and getting raped.
I'm also concerned with oral sex and how likely it is to get HIV from receptive oral

Any ideas? Especially hoping some people who go to and have been to sex parties regularly could comment.

Offline Coffeechick88

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Re: Sex Parties/Orgies and hiv prevention
« Reply #1 on: January 23, 2007, 11:52:46 PM »
1.  Condoms--yes that is a definite must.  100% of the time--no exceptions, and never ever believe someone if they say it is okay to do it unprotected because they don't have any STD or HIV.  Never take their word for it.  Be smart about protecting your health--one time is all it takes.
2.  No drinking/drugs--I think that is a good idea.  You do need your wits about you.  Being drunk/on drugs definitely increases the likelyhood you will have risky sex.
3.  Decent reputations?  That is okay as long as you do not let your guard down when you go to a place with a "decent reputation".  Things can happen no matter where you go.

HIV from giving oral has never produced a case other than a few scattered medical reports.  There also have been studies on serodiscordant couples (+/-) where protected intercourse is done and unprotected oral was done and the other partner never got infected.  You can say it is extremely unlikely.  Whether you do unprotected oral is up to you and what you are comfortable with.  In the relationships I've had with HIV- men, we have gone at each other like mad orally (unprotected), but always protected intercourse, but that is what we mutually decided was ok.  You have to decide the same for yourself.

I'd add a few things to your list. 

4.  While using a condom properly makes it unlikely it will break, it is possible.  In that event, PEP is an available option and should ideally be started within 72 hours, but sooner is better.  I would be very surprised if they didn't recommend it, even if the HIV status of the source was unknown.

5.  Getting regular HIV/STD checkups ever 6 months/1yr minimum is a good idea.

6.  As for worrying about being slipped something and raped--I have always been told to make sure your drink is always in site of you or if someone gets it/makes it watch them--if you know what is going on with your drink, you can be sure they didn't slip anything.
« Last Edit: January 25, 2007, 04:12:47 PM by Coffeechick88 »
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Offline antibody

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Re: Sex Parties/Orgies and hiv prevention
« Reply #2 on: January 25, 2007, 01:25:50 PM »
sounds like you already know and what to do to protect yourself. know your limits and never make any exceptions in your rules of the game. i don't see any harm done or the risk level seems quite small.
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Offline smaqer06

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Re: Sex Parties/Orgies and hiv prevention
« Reply #3 on: January 25, 2007, 03:08:55 PM »
Hi guys:

Its me again with another question--one that has me kinda worried.  I know that oral sex is relatively low risk.  I know that saliva breaks down HIV and that HIV cannot survive in oxygen (and plenty of oxygen goes in your mouth)  But my question is about oral with ejaculation.

I was in a situation where two guys of unknown status came in my mouth (WITHOUT MY CONSENT I MIGHT ADD).  They didn't shoot their entire load in my mouth because i pulled away instinctively right when i realized that it was happening.  But some cum definitely got in.  One came further back down my throat and the other came closer towards my teeth (that one really worried me b/c some cum got on my gums).  To make things worse, I had just flossed the night before (about 8-10 hours before).

I immediately ran to the kitchen to wash my mouth out with water.   

I never let people cum in my mouth.  I also feel violated that they just decided to do this without my consent.  Maybe that's why I feel bad.

It's about time for my routine HIV test anyway, so I'm going to move it back four weeks to incorporate this latest mishap.  Any thoughts here?

P.S. Andy said to move my question to this thread instead of starting another one.

Offline ACinKC

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Re: Sex Parties/Orgies and hiv prevention
« Reply #4 on: January 25, 2007, 03:12:01 PM »
You flossing the night before doesnt make a difference.  I personally would NOT test over this incident and wouldnt worry about it.  It is EXTREMELY LOW RISK. 
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Sex Parties/Orgies and hiv prevention
« Reply #5 on: January 25, 2007, 03:17:14 PM »
I've deleted the most recent thread you began with another question. Please keep your questions and comments in your original thread and don't start keep starting new threads.

OK, there is a mix of opinions about the risk of giving oral. There is anecdotal evidence from some who claim that's how  they became infected. None of it has been solidly confirmed. On the other hand in longterm studies of sero-discordant couples, both gay and straight the evidence is much more that the risk is virtually nil. As long as the couples consistently used condoms for vaginal & anal intercourse and also had lots of unprotected oral, none of the sero-negative partners became infected. NONE.

And like KC, I would not considering your having flossed the previous day to be something that would increase your risk.

But the concern about giving oral to a guy is one that generally persists. So it's a matter of what your comfort level is as far as risk you're willing to tolerate. As you already seem to know, giving oral with ejaculation is considered somewhat riskier but again, the evidence is pretty much anecdotal.

So this comes down to being your call. From what you have described you are very active sexually. Having sex with anything other than your hand is always at least theoretically risky. And having lots of partners certainly does up your risk level as far as other STDs are concerned and they are much easier to acquire than HIV. Given what you have described I would say getting a full panel done every six months would be a good idea.

« Last Edit: January 25, 2007, 03:19:54 PM by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez


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