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Author Topic: Terrified about oral encounter with man believed to be HIV positive  (Read 2367 times)

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I am absolutely terrified as I had an encounter, oral sex, with a man that I am confident is HIV positive.  This was my first such encounter ever and I believe that he may have cum, and whatever there was, had to not be a lot in terms of volume, I did swallow.

This encounter, as difficult to say and as stupid as it was, was more based on a feeling of obligation, return of favor, in what I thought was a very different situation.

The guy told me he was married, had never done anything with another guy, and just wanted to experiment and was spur of the moment.  He assured me beyond question that he was absolutely clean and free of any disease. 

He contacted me after and his story seemed to change and I became concerned;  therefore, I started to do some research and investigation.  I then found that he was not married, and is very active with other men (not to say that haphazard and reckless involvement with multiple woman would be less of a concern), when he told me he had been monogamous for years.  I also found a picture of him on an HIV positive dating service.  I spent a lot of money and time and there is no question this guy deliberately targeted and deceived me. 

I have not had any type of sexual relationship with anyone other than my wife for 15 years.  She does know what happened and I let her read all of the correspondence and she is convinced also that the guy is the worst-of-the-worst and deliberately and maliciously took the actions he did. The guy actually contacted me on a board and the topic of discussion was problems with marriage between men and women, it is a support structure of sorts and the discussion centered on heterosexual marriages.

I just received a negative result at the local health district using an FDA approved rapid HIV test at exactly 5 weeks after exposure.

I have a few questions about the situation as I am puzzled about what to think. 

First, is there anything he could have done to increase the likelihood of infection, is there anything I should look for?

Second, the literature regarding risk is conflicting at best, is there a real and sound opinion on this type of exposure?  I just read the introduction for this site and found information that may reflect the opinion of users.  If there is anything anyone would like to ad it would be greatly appreciated.

Third, I had a PCR by DNA test conducted and it is days past the long end of the estimated time to receive results, does this indicate a stronger chance for a positive test?  Do they retest positive results at a different lab or something?  The testing service told me that the original lab sent the sample to another lab for testing and this concerns me but the testing center told me I should infer nothing from this action, as I would expect then to say.

Thank you so much for your input and assistance.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Terrified about oral encounter with man believed to be HIV positive
« Reply #1 on: January 23, 2007, 06:50:20 PM »
Before you ask anymore questions read the "Welcome" thread and read the links found there. Then resume posting your questions.

Offline ACinKC

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Re: Terrified about oral encounter with man believed to be HIV positive
« Reply #2 on: January 24, 2007, 10:15:07 AM »
1.  You would have noticed anything he would have done.  So the answer is no.

2.  Your risk is EXTREMELY low.  (You arent 100% sure if the guy has HIV.  Just because he is on an HIV dating site does not constitute a conclusive positive result by any means.  He lied to you he could be lying on the other boards he is on.)

3.  Do not infer anything from how long it takes to get your results.  I have had one test take 3 weeks to get results after they told me it would take 1 week and it was negative.  I had my positive diagnoses test come back in less than 48 hours.  Since then my labs take anywhere between a few days to a couple of weeks.  It all depends on the work load of the lab in question, not your test in particular.

I expect you will test negative and be able to move on with your life.  Just goes to show you can't trust anyone with your health other than you.
« Last Edit: January 24, 2007, 10:40:56 AM by ACinKC »
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Terrified about oral encounter with man believed to be HIV positive
« Reply #3 on: January 24, 2007, 10:36:22 AM »
Terrified, I agree that your risk was at the very low end of the scale.

Over the years of the epidemic there have been very view cases of transmission attributed to giving head. There's much more evidence in longterm studies of sero-discordant couples that as long as they consistently use condoms for intercourse, whether vaginal or anal, that none of the sero-negative partners have become infected. And in both gay and straight couples in the study there was lots of unprotected oral.

It's not surprising that you have tested negative. For your peace of mind (and that of your wife?), re-test at 13 weeks and collect what I expect will be a negative result.
Andy Velez


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