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Author Topic: Attacked by goose.  (Read 5760 times)

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Offline Mouse

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  • Om nom nom.
Attacked by goose.
« on: June 13, 2006, 07:06:06 PM »
Geese, actually. MANY.

Sometimes I walk down to this pond near my house and feed old bread and whatever is laying around the house to the hundreds of ducks that hang out there all day long. There have always been geese, but lately these HUGE Canadian geese have flocked in, and there are a bunch of ducklings around too this time of year.

Anyway, today I bought two loaves of bread to bring down to them. It's really calm and serene there, to sit on the rocks or the grass and feed them. They've all gotten rather brave, and there are three that I've gotten to know.

A goose named Cranky, because he follows me around and hisses at me until I feed him a few times, and then he plops down next to me and picks up the bread the other ducks miss. There's Friendly, the little runt duck that sits on my feet and looks up at me and begs, and then recently, the GodGoose, who's this HUGGGEEE MEAN Canadian goose that has moved in and kind of threatens the other ducks and takes their food if I'm not paying attention. He gets an attitude with me sometimes but usually doesn't get too close.

But, today, he got brave and started hissing at me and stretching his neck out and trying to bite me, so I kind of like jumped forward a little bit, because that usually makes them flutter away, but the little bitch just leaned in and took a mouthful of my shirt and PULLED.

So I had to scramble away from him and he kind of chased me halfway down the road.

Really graceful.

There are about six of them down there and I dunno what to do! They're messing up the entire system down there. Stupid geese.

Offline Basquo

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Re: Attacked by goose.
« Reply #1 on: June 13, 2006, 07:18:40 PM »
Bitch-slap him.  Not hard, but just a light downward tap on the tip of his beak should let him know who's got the bread.  Oh, and give him bread right afterward!

Basquo (who was kicked in the eye by a goat at age four.  My dad saw it happen.  Damn, that was tasty cabrito!)

Offline Sae

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Re: Attacked by goose.
« Reply #2 on: June 13, 2006, 08:34:43 PM »
I was bitten in the back of the knee by a goose once.  Hurts like hell.  As karma would have it...there was two ganders and one goose and when they came to 'take' a goose...the choice was simple and I offered my humble suggestion to take Mr. Nasty.  In yet another turn of the Karma wheel, the other goose became just as mean as the first little bastard.

Pesky Canadian geese....seriously there are way too many of them, obviously you've now met alpha goose, charged with guarding the pack.  Mr. Nasty.

Run.  Seriously.  Run.  That first goose used to chase my car.

(who is not going to sleep tonight)

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Attacked by goose.
« Reply #3 on: June 13, 2006, 08:37:32 PM »
Wretched beasts are geese. Particularly when they're in a gaggle. Vicious, malevolent things that hiss and spit and bite and crap everywhere. For such ungainly creatures they can certainly move quickly over short distances. Heaven help you should you fall over when fleeing these satanic birds. Once you're down, you're fucked.

When I was a kiddie, there were geese on the farm. Usually they were kept in a large pen. My younger brother would harrass the brutes by beating the fence with a stick. The enraged poultry would go ballistic. Flapping and honking and charging the fence.

One day, my brave brother failed to notice that the gate on the pen was open whilst he provoked the gaggle. The beaks of retribution were swift and without mercy.

On the upside, geese taste great. ;D


Offline Teresa

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Re: Attacked by goose.
« Reply #4 on: June 13, 2006, 08:41:38 PM »
For some reason birds do not like me. When i was little..too little to remember(but have heard the stories) i was attacked by a peacock. THey say me and my sister were just walking by and the thing jumped on me.

When i was 18 i was at my great aunts and decided to cross the pasture to go to her sons house. SHe told me to watch out for the bull who was no where to be seen. But there was a group of geese and ducks a few feet away..they chased me all the way across the pasture.

so there is no way i would go near a bunch of geese let alone feed the damn things.
Hubby HIV+ 5/5/06
  %: 26.7
 VL: <20
Atripla (started it 8/24/06)

Offline randym431

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Re: Attacked by goose.
« Reply #5 on: June 13, 2006, 08:56:48 PM »
Geese are wild period! There are tons of them on the many ponds around the area I work, man made ponds and part of the landscaping. The geese love to settle in and raise their chicks every year. Its so cute watching a hoard of 20-30 geese and chicks crossing the road, stopping all the traffic. But these geese are mean. They actually chase cars, and people. They don’t take any shit thats for sure. I have raise ducks and, once, geese, Ducks are like dogs. They become attached to you and follow you around. Especially if you are around them or raise them from birth.
But geese, even if you raise them from an egg, never become domesticated. They grow up and fall into their natural wild mean self. Geese are also a lot messier than ducks. Ducks were fun to raise, geese.... not. But the chicks are sooooo cute!

Offline fearless

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Re: Attacked by goose.
« Reply #6 on: June 13, 2006, 11:31:06 PM »

Give them a Kaletra or Sustiva and see how they go.  ;D
Be forgiving, be grateful, be optimistic

Offline aztecan

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  • 32 years positive, 60 years a pain in the butt
Re: Attacked by goose.
« Reply #7 on: June 14, 2006, 12:34:02 AM »
Have you much room in your freezer? A quick snap of the neck and Mr. Nasty will be Mr. Tasty.

If snapping their necks doesn't appeal to you, use your trusty hatchet.

Bite me once, shame on the goose. Bite me twice, goose gets eaten.

Simple rules to live by.


"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline anniebc

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Re: Attacked by goose.
« Reply #8 on: June 14, 2006, 05:17:37 AM »
One of the big Whiskey Bonds in Scotland have been using geese to guard their premises ever since I was a little girl, and still do..they are well fenced in but will try and attack if you get too near the fence..and the noise is enough deafening.

BTW..Mark I love the new photo..such a beautiful smile.

Jan :)
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline cubbybear

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Re: Attacked by goose.
« Reply #9 on: June 14, 2006, 05:51:31 AM »
Hey Jaser, I feel for you dude.. I was terrorised and held captive to a goose in my uncles backyard once when I was 5 years old.  I screamed my lungs out until mom came and rescued me. 

Geese look best on a plate.. roasted.. with vegetables and gravy!  (Not that I have ever eaten a goose!)

(He who's not really a big nelly.. but I was when I was 5!)

Edited to add: Jan I agree with you on Marks new avatar!
« Last Edit: June 14, 2006, 05:53:31 AM by cubbybear »
There's a bear in there!
Positive since 2000
Diagnosed 17/9/2005 CD4 35 VL 293,000
Meds 23/9/2005 Sustiva/Truvada
Currently CD4 232 VL Undetectable

Offline BB

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Re: Attacked by goose.
« Reply #10 on: June 14, 2006, 06:51:09 AM »
We call them the new urban pigeon. We also have signs posted that say don't feed the damn things cause that act just leads to many more of the nasty things moving in or increased breeding.

Plus, food that isn't natural to them makes the poop hazard go way up. Worse, these big behemoths are flying B52's that bomb unsuspecting people with wads of chunky goose poop while honking and flapping away in fear of some nonexistent threat.

Quite the sight when a large gaggle takes off in a panic, worse when their flying right over you honking and pooping with wild abandon.

However, if I had to choose between the way nastier pigeons or poop slinging geese, I'd choose the big birds cause they are more fun to watch than a spastic pigeon.

Damn the Torpedoes! Full speed ahead! Adm. D. Farragut.

Started Atripla 8/18/06 and if I eat the right food when I take my meds, I get to go on a-trip-la.

Offline Ann

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Re: Attacked by goose.
« Reply #11 on: June 14, 2006, 06:56:36 AM »
Duck, duck..... GOOSE! LOL... remember that kiddie game?

Geese are mean, but nothing beats a swan - they're much bigger for a start! I was painting the side of one of the fishing boats I worked on this one time and got attacked by one. To paint above the waterline, we used to hang staging over the side of the boat, so you'd have this 4" X 6" platform to work on.

There I was on the platform, painting away and minding my own business. I started hearing this peculiar noise, similar to an engine. I assumed that one of the little pleasure boats across the harbour was getting ready to go somewhere. Suddenly, the noise got much louder so I looked - and here was one very pissed off swan motoring his way over to me at great speed.

The platform was only a few inches above the water and this swan was quickly right up in my face, hissing and growling and flapping his wings, while trying to bite me. You've got to remember I had very limited space to maneuver in and the ladder was up on the deck so I had no escape.

My deck-mate heard the commotion and put the ladder down to me, but not before I dropped a fully laden paintbrush into the harbour. If you've ever dropped oil-based paint into water, you'll know that it floats. I got away with a few bruises on my arms and legs from the swan bites, but he had to go around for the rest of the summer with a blue water line around his body. His waterline lasted much longer than my bruises so I got the last laugh! :D

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Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: Attacked by goose.
« Reply #12 on: June 14, 2006, 12:49:04 PM »
I used to live on an exotic animal farm and we had a couple of swans that could be very aggressive. A friend of mine was casually strolling around the pond and one of the swans was following him in attack posture. I told him twice to keep his distance from the swan but he didn't take me seriously. The next thing I hear is a scream and he is on his back kicking and flayling as this huge swan is trying to bite his face off. He escaped with bruises but we still laugh about the "killer swan".

Another time we had an emu escape and we were trying to herd it back into the pen. We had a farm cat "Muffin" who liked to follow us around. Muffin comes strolling across the field to see what we are up to and the emu takes one look at the cat and takes off after it at 30 mph. Muffin is zig zagging all over the place as the emu tries to stomp him. Muffin managed to run under a horse trailer and emu was trying to reach his head under the trailer to bite him. We didn't see muffin for a couple of days after that!

Offline Lisa

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Re: Attacked by goose.
« Reply #13 on: June 14, 2006, 12:55:58 PM »
We seem to have an abundance of Canadian geese here in NC. My brother(who still lives in Ohio) calls us goose farmers.
The only Hitchcockian type episode I've ever had was at the receiving end of a nice dump of pelican poop while in Fla. one year. You have no idea how badly their poop smells. Ick. We tried all of the things they say to use for skunk, tomato juice, mayonaise, white vinegar........etc..none of them worked. I had to walk around for nearly five days smelling like pelican poo.
I'm sure you can imagine the looks I/we got at restaurants, or closed in quarters. Drat those creatures.
No Fear  No Shame  No Stigma
Happiness is not getting what you want, but wanting what you have.

Offline david25luvit

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Re: Attacked by goose.
« Reply #14 on: June 14, 2006, 02:38:25 PM »
Next time Jaser...Take a machete' and take a whack at Weasa.  They have a hard time hissing out
of their necks ::).......just kiddin!  Be careful babycakes...some of those horrible bird-like creatures
are down right vicious.  (Do you have a B-B gun?)  I'm such a country boy at heart. :o
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Nov. 25, 1972- Oct. 15, 2004
I miss him terribly..........

Offline DanielMark

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Re: Attacked by goose.
« Reply #15 on: June 14, 2006, 03:00:09 PM »
On behalf of Canada Jaser, sorry about that!  You're lucky all he grabbed ahold of was your shirt!

Ann is right. Swans are far more aggressive, stronger, and much more dangerous when provoked. You wonder how something so beautiful can be so mean. (Much like some men I've dated.)  8)



Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Attacked by goose.
« Reply #16 on: June 14, 2006, 05:57:19 PM »
Geese sometimes aren't as clear about their intentions as they might be. That's just how they are.

What may seem like nasty behavior might just be a badly expressed interest in having oral intimacy with you.

In which case, it's your move.....


« Last Edit: June 14, 2006, 06:02:12 PM by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez


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