Have I Potentially Passed on HIV to my Partner

[Nervousposter83]

Hi on the 16th of July I cheated on my Partner and vsited a Female Thai escort for the first time whilst extremely drunk. We had brief protected sex and I received unprotected oral and also very briefly gave unprotected oral on her clit as well as received an unprotected handjob.

Fear kicked in almost immediately and 29 Days later I went to a private clinic and had a HIV Duo test with P24 antibodies which came back the following day Negative thankfully.

Last night me and my long term female partner had a drink and I ended up giving her oral sex on her clit as well as inserting a single finger. My finger has a healing burn that I got from an oven almost a week previously it is practically healed but with just a slight tiny bitt of brown skin/scab. I also noticed this morning what looks like a possible small healing cut near my nail I have just been pressing it really hard to see if any blood will come out and it doesn't so hopefully it wasn't bleeding at the time of insertion.

I'm seriously worried that I could have potentially passed on HiV to her? I have avoided any sexual contact and was going to avoid doing anything until I had another HIV Duo P24 test at the private clinic at the 8 week mark after visiting the escort.

I am totally sick with worry and desperate for advice, have I gave this poor girl Hiv?

I have hopefully attached an image also of my finger if I have done it correctly please advise guys

https://ibb.co/5srFxKN

[Jim Allen]

I read your post three times, going to skip a lot of the irrelevant stuff.

In summary, you had sex with a sex worker, and there was no HIV risk, no need to test over this incident for HIV either but you feel guilty because you have a partner and as a result of these feelings you are now stressing about HIV.

We had brief protected sex and I received unprotected oral and also very briefly gave unprotected oral on her clit as well as received an unprotected handjob.

Receiving a blowjob lacks the conditions required for acquiring HIV; thus, it makes sense that after 40+ years of this pandemic in terms of BJs, there hasn't been a single documented case of HIV transmission to an insertive partner (the person being "sucked"), and you will not be the worlds first.

The handjob and cunnilingus also aren't an HIV risk. Zero!

As for intercourse, HIV can't be transmitted through an intact latex, polyisoprene or polyurethane condom. Unless a condom obviously fails during intercourse, there is no reason to be stressing about HIV or testing for HIV outside the standard yearly HIV screening.

In other words, you had no HIV risk.

my Partner

I'll mention the same thing I always do whenever someone mentions a relationship; If you engage in condomless sex with your partner, you are obviously at risk of acquiring HIV. In relationships, condomless sex is often based on trust or past test results; however, this does not prevent HIV, so if condomless sex does occur, you should consider testing more frequently.

Here's what you need to know to reduce your HIV risks:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse correctly and consistently, with no exceptions. Consider talking to your healthcare provider about PrEP as an additional layer of protection against HIV and get vaccinated against HPV, Hepatitis A & B.

Keep in mind that some sexual practices described as safe in terms of acquiring HIV still pose a risk for other easier-acquired STIs. So please do get tested at least yearly for STIs, including but not limited to HIV, and more frequently if condomless intercourse occurs.

Also, note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms; testing is the only way to know.

Kind regards

Jim

Please Note.
As a member of the "Do I have HIV" Forum, you are required to only post in this one thread no matter how long between visits or the subject matter. You can find this thread by going to your profile and selecting show own post, which will take you here. It helps us to help you when you keep all your thoughts or questions in one thread, and it helps other readers to follow the discussion. Any additional threads will be removed.

[Nervousposter83]

Thanks for the quick reply Jim and advice.

Could I just ask and confirm a couple of things if you have the time please?

I had my HIV Duo P24 antibodies test at a supposedly top private clinic called Pall Mall in Manchester it states on there website the following

The HIV Duo test combines a HIV1 & HIV2 antibody test with an HIV p24 antigen test and this makes it the most accurate HIV screening available from 28 days since exposure. This test does not require any further clinical follow-up if negative, giving you total reassurance.
 
Should I take this statement with a pinch of Salt and continue to have another test with them at 8 weeks?

Secondly would there be any risk at all to my partner with what I stated in my previous post? Say for example if my results from my test had missed the signs of infection?

I totally understand what you have posted Jim and I'm almost certain I haven't contracted Hiv from the information you have posted I'm just scared to death of giving my partner Hiv no matter how slim and you are totally right about the guilt as well.

Thanks in advance Jim I'm so glad there is people like you around.

[Jim Allen]

I totally understand what you have posted Jim

No, you don't as you are now asking me about testing over a no HIV risk situation.

You had no HIV risk from the encounter with the sex worker, and therefore no HIV testing was needed over this encounter, you did not get HIV from the sex worker, and I will not be pretending otherwise or that testing is warranted just because you feel guilty as that would be a disservice to you and more importantly the community.

Come back to me with an HIV risk and I'll talk to you about that risk and correct testing needs & timeframes.

[Jim Allen]

Now this is an HIV forum, your encounter with the sex worker was not an HIV risk.

If you want something to stress about receiving a blowjob and cunnilingus was a risk for several STIs and the levels of protection condoms offer for various STIs depend significantly on differences in how the diseases or infections are transmitted. Most STIs are far more infectious than HIV and some infections (Not HIV) are transmitted primarily by skin-to-skin contact, viral shredding or skin-to-lesion contact, etc., which may infect areas not covered by a condom, such as genital herpes, human papillomavirus [HPV], Chancroid (Haemophilus ducreyi) etc.

So if you want to stress, stress about that instead as at least there was a risk. Although, I see no reason to stress or test each time you have sex, just get tested yearly.

this poor girl

 

long term female partner

I presume your long-term female partner is a consenting adult. So whenever she accepts to have sex with you that comes with her accepting certain risks, she isn't some porcelain doll or less responsible for her health or less responsible during sex just because she is a woman.

[Nervousposter83]

Sorry Jim I don't mean to waste your time or cause you any grief. I'm almost positive the condom didn't fail as it was only a brief protected penetration as I lost my erection through the drink and she removed it but I'm sure it was protecting the business end still from what I remember even tho I was soft, she then tried and get me hard again with a handjob but failed as I was too drunk and nervous.I'm just trying to cover all bases is all to try and protect my family from a stupid mistake that I will never forgive myself for. Thanks again tho for all the info and I'm sure what I've just said above about the condom will be fine also I had just forgotten to mention it in the original post. I will still get another test at the 8 week mark just for mental peace of mind if anything

I've just this second seen your post regarding Sti before I finished posting the above reply. I have had Chlamydia, gonorrhea, Trich hnd Syphillis tests done that have all come back negative and I will also retest again at 8 weeks. I have also taken a HPV urine test (How accurate these tests are I don't know? ) which also came back negative. I also paid  and had my first HPV vaccination last week as well to form some kind of protection or to raise the antibodies against it. I've stressed over every single thing you can think of Jim. I'm at my wits end with it all. I can't even look at myself in the mirror anymore.

[Jim Allen]

Asked and answered, that covers most of this.

We're not an STI service and if you mention HIV again or HIV testing regarding this sex worker I'm going to issue you a ban from the forums.

I'll add that there is currently no reliable test to detect HPV in men and some STIs like syphilis the window Period is 4-6 weeks in general although it depends and can be 90 days after exposure. You are in the UK and should be seeing a GUM clinic and talking to them if you want to get STI testing. https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/sexual-health-services/find-a-sexual-health-clinic

I've stressed over every single thing you can think of Jim. I'm at my wits end with it all. I can't even look at myself in the mirror anymore.

This is an emotional/mental health issue, not HIV.

You had sex, no big deal but you feel guilty and because of HIV stigma you link this no-HIV risk situation to HIV, and obviously at some level, prehaps unconsciously because of the wording and concerns posted here you don't respect your female partner as an adult or at least don't see her as an equal, that again is something for mental health services, not something I can assist you with.

I do wish you well but don't post about this again. The short of it is, you had sex with a sex worker, there was no HIV risk but you feel guilty.

No drama is needed, and if you were truly worried about your partner and STIs you would tell her but that said she is also totally responsible for her health and she accepts the risks whenever having contact with you.