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Author Topic: Chance of Contracting HIV from this Encounter  (Read 777 times)

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Offline TheWorriedGuy84

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Chance of Contracting HIV from this Encounter
« on: December 10, 2020, 09:39:53 am »
Good day all. I accidentally stumbled into this website while browsing and/or looking for some enlightenment about the chances of me contracting HIV. Really hope you can help sed some light about the below.

So basically, on November 29th, 2020, I went into a massage parlor to help ease this lower back pain I have since years ago (I injured my back during workout at a gym and the pain became permanent, it could come and go anytime if I slept wrong or I pick up something that's too heavy). After the massage session, the therapist offered me to "get it out", to which I accepted, thinking that she wont go further than just oral sex.

She began with putting condom to my penis, oralled it for less than a sec or two, and then she began to "sit" on me for a mere 2-3 mins before I came inside the condom while still inside her (its vaginal intercourse). She then went on to carefully removed the condom (even slapped my hand away when I was trying to help removing the condom). It was not very bright, but I think I could see that the condom was indeed still intact (didn't break). I also went on to check the packaging (of the condom, its a Strawberry flavored condom from Fiesta) to see the expiry date. It was indeed a brand new condom as the expiry date itself was on Nov/Dec 2025.

Then, I also went to clean off the base of my penis with tissue. I chatted a bit with her about this encounter and she said, all these times, whenever she is engaged in a sexual intercourse with customers, she always demand to use condom, even if it's only for doing oral.

Back at home, I immediately went to take a bath and also checked up my penis for any sign of open wound, nicked skin or anything. Luckily for me, there's none.

Sadly, I'm not a very trusting person and I've been feeling anxious for the last couple of days. I already chatted with three people so far:

1. A general doctor who assured me that micro-tears is something that is super rare to happen and it will only happen if God really hate that person (yes, I did fear about micro-tear and this got me worked up...)

2. A guy who is actually a HIV expert and when I explained what happened, he also told me that those encounters are basically no-risk because I already used condom in the first place.

3. A local consultant for HIV. I also spoke to him and tell him all the details that I went through, where he assured me that I have nothing to worry about. Even under condition IF the condom broke, the chance would still be very low (but in my case, I was quite sure it wasn't broken).

Even after all this, I still wasnt sure and I ended up visiting the massage parlor again to get some clarification from the therapist (this happened around 2 days ago). While being massaged, I asked her if the condom was broken and she replied that it was totally good, not broken. Besides, she has chosen the kind of condom that's not too thin and plus, she also said that our intercourse back then was not even a rough one that could resulted in a broken condom. She also tried to comfort me a bit by saying that she also fear all of this STD stuff and hence the reason why she always demand a condom to be used, no matter what.

From all of this, of course I should've been totally relaxed, right? But yesterday, I freaked out because when I was taking a bath, I checked my penis and everything else, only to find an (I think) acne or something (I think its called follicle). It definitely doesnt look like a rash or herpes and there's only one reddish follicle. When I popped it, blood came out. Under normal circumstances, I would definitely think that this is something normal, like maybe it was just ur usual acne. But because of my paranoid being, I'm fearing that this might be a sign of HIV symptom... Not to mention, its already 12th day since it happen, so the timing is almost a match (read a lot in the internet about symptoms showing up from 2-4 weeks).

Earlier today, I was also feeling slightly tired and sleepy plus some mild throbbing around my arm, though this one didn't last too long. And the tiredness went away after a cup of coffee. If I wanted to be a bit positive and logical, I want to think that the above was happening because the night before, I only managed to get about 4 hours of sleep, hence the tiredness and the mild throbbing. Also, the red follicle that I mentioned before, that one is still around, but this time it looks a bit like acne that you just popped a day before. A bit reddish and when I tried to popped it again, there was still some blood inside it.

I'm really sorry for the super long post, but here's my questions:

1. On the protected sex, is there any chance that I could get HIV (if the therapist is HIV+)?
2. Say if the condom was used, but in the end, the condom broke? Should I be concern about possible HIV infection? I could be wrong about this, but my mind seems to be playing trick with me, so now I'm torn between what I actually saw and what I think I saw...
3. The reddish follicle, the mild throbbing at my arm, the tiredness that I felt today, would that by chance are actually HIV symptom? Or perhaps its just the anxiousness playing around in my head, making me psychosomatic?
4. Should I get tested? FYI, I'm not a sexually active guy and the above incident was practically the only time I had intercourse after a long time.
5. Could it be that I don't have HIV, but actually am having a HIV phobia?
6. What are the chances for a condom to actually break during intercourse? Does it happen often? If the condom is a brand new, what's the chance for the condom to be broken upon used?

My apologies (again) for the long post, but I'm super worried now and I couldn't even get myself to have sex with my wife just because I'm too paranoid that I might have the virus and I could infect her...

Please help...

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Chance of Contracting HIV from this Encounter
« Reply #1 on: December 10, 2020, 01:48:54 pm »
Hiya,

1) 2) 6)

HIV can't transmit through an intact latex or polyurethane condom.

If a condom fails during the act of intercourse it's obvious to the insertive partner. Bad lighting is not an issue and there is no reason to be stressing or testing outside of standard routine as long as this obvious issue did not happen.

Quote
It definitely doesnt look like a rash or herpes and there's only one reddish follicle

I don't see why you think it's HIV related. Anyhow see a Doctor and get them to check and treat whatever it is instead of stressing about things its not.

Quote
4) Should I get tested? FYI, I'm not a sexually active guy and the above incident was practically the only time I had intercourse after a long time.

Quote
I'm super worried now and I couldn't even get myself to have sex with my wife

Look if you are sexually active test at least yearly out of standard routine for HIV and far easier to acquire STI's.

Regarding sex with your wife, not many details to go on but if you have engaged in condomless intercourse with your wife then you are obviously at risk of acquiring HIV. Often within relationships, condomless sex is based on trust or past test results, however, this does not prevent HIV and any condomless intercourse is accepting the greater risk of acquiring HIV.

Here's what you need to know to avoid HIV infection:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, every time, no exceptions.  Consider talking to your healthcare provider about PrEP as an additional layer of HIV prevention

Keep in mind that some sexual practices which may be described as ‘safe’ in terms of HIV transmission might still pose a risk for transmission of other STI's, so please do get fully tested regularly and at least yearly for all STI's including but not limited to HIV and test more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs

Also, note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and the only way of knowing is by testing.

Kind regards

Jim

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« Last Edit: December 10, 2020, 01:52:41 pm by Jim Allen »
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Offline TheWorriedGuy84

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Re: Chance of Contracting HIV from this Encounter
« Reply #2 on: December 10, 2020, 04:19:39 pm »
Hi Jim.

Thanks a lot for the quick and prompt reply. You dont know how much this means to me...

Anyway, regarding the sex with my wife, yes, we've always been doing it without condom because based on the last test when our baby was born, she doesnt have HIV.

The reason why I'm stressing a bit on the condom being broken or not was because I have no experience on it. In my whole life, I think I only used condom like three times total (including the one I told you in my first post). I have no idea whatsoever what it feels like if the condom breaks... Hell, I could even had a condom broke on me and didnt realize it... Thats why I'm a bit nervous and afraid over this. Whats the chance of condom breaking anyway in most cases (we're talking about just your standard usage, mild thrusting)? The therapist did raise some good argument about the condom, but again, I'm not an expert in this...

Secondly, on why I'm stressing on the reddish follicle, just like the rest of stuff that I felt the past two days. You see, I've been spending a lot of my time scouring the internet just to know whats the symptom for HIV and some of what I was feeling was a bit similar to the description in the HIV symptoms. Like when my body itches (where I associated it as possible itchy rash since my skin was a bit scaly and dry sometimes and it became reddish after I scratched it),  fully tired (I associated this with body fatigue) and mild throbbing on my arm (associated this with joint pain). I know I might be just paranoid over these because for the last two (feeling super tired and throbbing arm or anywhere in my body), I did only have like 4 hours sleep and its not like it never happens to me before in the past. But you know that feeling when you suddenly are not sure and doubting anything and everything thats happening with your body even though it's supposed to be something normal.

Anyway, so based on your assessment over my incident, I am in no way have HIV and there's no need to go and get tested for HIV? I can just move on with my life?

Sorry if I keep asking the same questions over and over again... I think this is the case where I might have this HIV phobia...
« Last Edit: December 10, 2020, 04:23:11 pm by TheWorriedGuy84 »

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Chance of Contracting HIV from this Encounter
« Reply #3 on: December 10, 2020, 06:23:33 pm »
The condom question I've already answered. I'm not going to get into issues that didn't even happen.

The symptoms nothing related to HIV from the encounter with the masseuse

Quote
Anyway, regarding the sex with my wife, yes, we've always been doing it without condom because based on the last test when our baby was born, she doesnt have HIV.

Okay, that fine, it's still an HIV risk, just one you are happy to accept.
Past results are irrelevant.

Quote
Anyway, so based on your assessment over my incident, I am in no way have HIV and there's no need to go and get tested for HIV? I can just move on with my life?

The encounter with the masseuse isn't an hiv concern.

As for your HIV status considering you are sexually active and had potential exposures from others encounters the only way to know your HIV status is by testing, test for easier to acquire STI's as well.


« Last Edit: December 10, 2020, 06:30:51 pm by Jim Allen »
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline TheWorriedGuy84

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Re: Chance of Contracting HIV from this Encounter
« Reply #4 on: December 10, 2020, 08:49:06 pm »
Noted on all your assessment.

One final question though. On your below statement:

+++
Okay, that fine, it's still an HIV risk, just one you are happy to accept.
Past results are irrelevant.
+++

Why is it that you are saying that the monogamous relationship I have with my wife is still an HIV risk? Can you get HIV during normal circumstance outside risky sexual intercourse? As far as I know, there's no other method that HIV can pass to other people...

So that would definitely means that my wife is HIV negative and as long as I'm not infected, there's no chance of HIV infection at all right?




Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Chance of Contracting HIV from this Encounter
« Reply #5 on: December 11, 2020, 01:32:56 am »
Hiya,

Quote
Can you get HIV during normal circumstance outside risky sexual intercourse?Can you get HIV during normal circumstance outside risky sexual intercourse?

"Risky" sexual intercourse. 

Sex even with condoms comes with risks like STI's, see the reduction of risk condoms offer depends greatly on how infections are transmitted, some STI's, unlike HIV, can be acquired during skin to skin contact that may not be covered by condoms during sexual contact, condomless sex comes with accepting greater risks including HIV.

As I said, if you have engaged in condomless intercourse with your wife then you are obviously at risk of acquiring HIV. It meets all the biological conditions needed for HIV to infect.

Often within relationships, condomless sex is based on trust or past test results, however, this does not prevent HIV and any condomless intercourse is accepting the greater risk of acquiring HIV.

"Normal circumstances"

You can't acquire HIV from day to day contact with people. Sex, on the other hand, is the primary route for HIV infection under adults and HIV doesn't care about marriage vows, trust or promises. There are plenty of members and sob stories in the world to testify to this. 

Quote
So that would definitely means that my wife is HIV negative and as long as I'm not infected, there's no chance of HIV infection at all right?

No, as I presume and hope you have not kept your wife locked up 24/7 after she last tested. Your presumption of her HIV status is based on trust, as explained it's common in relationships.

To be clear, no judgement from me, but I am not going to ignore mentioning the risks or pretend it's not a risk on an assessment.

Jim
« Last Edit: December 11, 2020, 02:51:25 am by Jim Allen »
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

 


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