Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
September 26, 2020, 09:13:33 pm

Login with username, password and session length


Members
Stats
  • Total Posts: 756231
  • Total Topics: 63929
  • Online Today: 265
  • Online Ever: 4912
  • (November 13, 2019, 02:56:14 am)
Users Online
Users: 3
Guests: 210
Total: 213

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Do I Have HIV?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: Fiancť tested positive and I didnít know  (Read 333 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Peachy21

  • Standard
  • Member
  • Posts: 3
Fiancť tested positive and I didnít know
« on: September 12, 2020, 11:21:44 pm »
My fiancť tested positive. I thought we were monagomous. Iím trying to be supportive at the same time dealing with feelings of betrayal. Iím so lost

Offline leatherman

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,790
  • Google and HIV meds are Your Friends
Re: Fiancť tested positive and I didnít know
« Reply #1 on: September 13, 2020, 07:51:54 am »
My fiancť tested positive. I thought we were monagomous. Iím trying to be supportive at the same time dealing with feelings of betrayal. Iím so lost
a couple things to consider:
Were you two tested together before you started your relationship? (it can take years to manifest enough symptoms for some people to consider testing.) Have you been tested since this positive result?
leatherman (aka mIkIE)

Online Jim Allen

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 16,001
  • Twitter @JimAllenDublin
    • HIV Lessons
Re: Fiancť tested positive and I didnít know
« Reply #2 on: September 13, 2020, 08:53:03 am »
Hiya,

Sorry to hear that your fiancť has tested positive.
How is he doing and has he started treatment already?

As Leatherman mentioned could be he has been living with HIV for some time already, hard to tell from your post what the situation is.

If he did cheat then it's something you will have to think about, if you do decide to stay together perhaps some joint counselling sessions might help.

Anyhow do work with your own healthcare provider to test for HIV & STI's.

HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline Peachy21

  • Standard
  • Member
  • Posts: 3
Re: Fiancť tested positive and I didnít know
« Reply #3 on: September 13, 2020, 08:58:23 am »
Hi. Yes when we got together I asked for a test before taking away protection. And he was recently tested in June of this year due to considering a life insurance policy. I also test every year for everything at my obgyn.  He goes to a doctor on Tuesday to get a referral to a different doctor to start. Heís very emotional and has been more attached to me lately and wanting me around more. Heís been having panic attacks so if Iím there I can calm him down. I hate seeing him upset but at the same time itís hard because I feel like I want rage one second or cry the next. And heís so overwhelmed I try not to say a lot to him about it. Counseling is definitely something we will be looking into. Unfortunately covid has made in person things hard to find

Online Jim Allen

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 16,001
  • Twitter @JimAllenDublin
    • HIV Lessons
Re: Fiancť tested positive and I didnít know
« Reply #4 on: September 13, 2020, 10:44:51 am »
Hiya,

Well, hopefully, after the appointment, he will feel slightly less overwhelmed but these things do take time. It might be useful for him to write down any questions so he will remember to ask the doctor.

I suspect sex is not something on your mind right now, but if you do stay together it's important to know with HIV treatment once it's has been suppressed for 6+ months he sexually can no longer pass it onto you. https://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=71864.0

Finally, look after yourself, and take time for yourself as needed. Perhaps there is no face to face couples therapy sessions at the moment but there might be phone or facetime sessions, it's something you might want to ask your doctor about.


HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline Peachy21

  • Standard
  • Member
  • Posts: 3
Re: Fiancť tested positive and I didnít know
« Reply #5 on: September 13, 2020, 11:32:17 am »
 Itís not on my mind but then is. Itís always been a source of comfort with him for me and I enjoy the closeness. But thatís not something that is plausible right now.  Iíve been looking into things. I was tested as well with the HIV RNA test but have heard nothing back yet. Iím worried But trying to not think about it. I think he will feel better with going to the doctor and gettting his medication regimen started

Online Jim Allen

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 16,001
  • Twitter @JimAllenDublin
    • HIV Lessons
Re: Fiancť tested positive and I didnít know
« Reply #6 on: September 13, 2020, 11:41:04 am »
Well keep us posted how he gets on.

Best, Jim
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2020 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.