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Author Topic: How do you deal with somebody's death  (Read 558 times)

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Offline fabio

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  • Posts: 520
How do you deal with somebody's death
« on: July 12, 2020, 05:55:11 pm »
Just an hour ago I was informed that a classmate and friend of mine just died,without any cause (as far as I know) and she was found dead this morning.
She was a really nice,shy and quirky girl that had started to get confidence in herself,went to study,got many friends that she didnt in her school years.
I still can't comprehend that she is gone,since just 2 weeks ago we met on the street (she was here on vacation) and looked so full of health and was extremely happy.
I remember kids teased her for being dyslexic and I would tell her "what the he'll does it matter what they say,they think I'm gay too,so let's be weird together" and she actually felt good about herself.
How do I deal with the feeling of not having the chance to see her again?

Offline daveR

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  • Posts: 157
Re: How do you deal with somebody's death
« Reply #1 on: July 12, 2020, 11:43:52 pm »
The feeling will pass on its own in time. A bit harsh to say it but just move on, do your normal routine. Look forward to what has not yet happened but will be enjoyable when it does. Try to live in the moment, not the past.
Both my parents died a couple of years ago, it is something you cannot change just have to accept.


Offline em

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  • Posts: 653
Re: How do you deal with somebody's death
« Reply #2 on: July 13, 2020, 05:49:35 am »
it seems to me you were considerate compassionate and brought happiness and joy into her life .  this may not dull the pain of losing her . but it should give you hope that you were there for her to help her while she was with us . time spent being happy is the greatest gift we can give to each other .

I hope you take comfort in knowing the time together was positive and uplifting . that you each benefited from knowing each other .

in her memory spending more time with people like you had with her while we are all among the living .  I hope you carry those good thoughts of her with you so that she can live on in you .   This is the best thing any of us can do.   

all the best to you


Offline harleymc

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  • Posts: 1,407
Re: How do you deal with somebody's death
« Reply #3 on: July 22, 2020, 06:57:10 am »
I'm sorry to hear of your loss.

People deal with death very differently  I have a friend who has taken her daughter's death a a special badge of suffering.  She can't get to the point of acknowledging that she has a surviving daughter and a husband. Of course they all miss Mikki,but Joanne is missing in action and self pity is eating her alive and that same self pity means the family can't come together.

It is sad that you have lost a dear friend.  When those waves of sadness get heavy reflect on the feel of your breathing,of the weight of your limbs,thesound of a bird,watch that dog in the street.  Get into the moment.

Do something that will act as a memorial to your friend, maybe plant a tree, or make a donation to a charity she would have cared for.  Make her life and death mean something.

Take good care of yourself my friend

Offline fabio

  • Member
  • Posts: 520
Re: How do you deal with somebody's death
« Reply #4 on: July 22, 2020, 08:58:52 am »
Thanks,although I'm a lot better now,I'm very happy for the very nice words. Of course this topic will not end,since there will always be someone who's gonna pass,it's a cycle of life after all.

Offline Expat1

  • Member
  • Posts: 358
Re: How do you deal with somebody's death
« Reply #5 on: July 22, 2020, 12:52:44 pm »
Say her name.
Celebrate her life.
Think of something shared and personal, do an action to comemorate that...
A special toast,
Read a poem from a shared author you like,
Make a photo,
If she liked to bowl, go the alley and do a few games..
If you shared a passion or cause do that...

Stuff like that.

The hardest thing for me is When an event happens and I suddenly want to share it with that person is realizing that I can't.  BUT THEN I imagine how they would have responded. Helps.


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