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Author Topic: Unprotected cunnilingus, anxiety is killing me.  (Read 578 times)

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Offline MyUsername

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Unprotected cunnilingus, anxiety is killing me.
« on: June 18, 2020, 11:22:46 am »
Hello,
Last week, I had a protected vaginal sex with a sex worker of unknown HIV status (for an hour) and I have performed an unprotected oral sex to her (2 times, each lasting a few minutes).
I'm really worried to the point that I have searched every website on the internet in English, Russian, Arabic, and German, and I can't find an answer. I just need a customized answer for my situation from an expert. That will really help me with such a very rough time.
Possible exposures:
- I fingered her at the beginning and didn't feel any fluids (except for the lubricant we used)
- Before any intercourse I have performed cunnilingus for about 2 minutes.
- After a protected intercourse, I washed myself and then we've done a 69 (me with a condom)
- We had a very long intercourse (idk if this is a possible reason for a condom to break, but I didn't notice any)
- She performed a BJ with a condom, and then a handjob wihtout. She used some saliva in the handjob.
Concerns:
- The second oral sex was after a short sexual intercourse (less than a minute), so I don't know whether it's enough time for her to produce fluids that have infecious HIV.
- I had bleeding stomach ulcers 3 months ago.
- She is a sex worker in Russia, and she's been so for more than 4 years.
- She has done a handjob to me with her saliva.
Unconcerned because:
- I checked my mouth and found no ulcers, cuts, or bleeding.
- Whenever I performed a cunnilingus, I tried not to swallow anything (because honestly I felt disgusted)
- She look like a very peotective person. She does not do any sexual intercourse or a blowjob without a condom. She does not even kiss. Also she was not a cheap sex worker; she's the manager of an agency.
- I asked her once before meeting her, and she said she doesn't have AIDS, and I repeated the question again after 3 days and mentioned that I'm too worried, and she assured she doesn't have any disease.
....
Let's assume she's newly infected or she's hiding her HIV status (I really don't mean/hope it for her, god forbids).
I really need a risk assessment to help me think (or actually worry) in the right direction because most information on the internet are misleading.
I need an answer to this question?
Does this kind of exposure need an HIV testing?
I do an HIV test in early-July. Do I need to delay it to September (although it will be very hard but I'll try my best)?
I'm worried to the point that when I go to book an HIV PCR test I get anxiety attacks and cancel any booking. Whenever I think about the moment when I would have a nagative test, I would never believe it and would still think I have HIV.
:::: This is the first and the only sexual intercourse in my life, and of course it's regrettable.
« Last Edit: June 18, 2020, 11:34:20 am by MyUsername »

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Unprotected cunnilingus, anxiety is killing me.
« Reply #1 on: June 18, 2020, 12:44:26 pm »
Hiya,

How much her services cost or what she looked like is totally meaningless. HIV does not care about that at all.

Anyhow the fingering, handjob, receiving oral sex was no HIV risk to you whatsoever. Saliva and fluids make no difference to this and giving Cunnilingus is not an HIV concern either and all the "what if's and but's" you mentioned change nothing. Her being Russian or a sex worker does not change how HIV is or is not transmitted either.

As for the intercourse, HIV can't transmit through an intact latex or polyurethane condom. If a condom fails during the act of intercourse it's obvious to the insertive partner. There is no reason to be stressing or testing outside of standard routine as long as this obvious issue did not happen.

I am not sure what has brought on this irrational fear and even if you had had a risk I would not recommend PCR testing, anyhow no HIV test of any type is needed over what you posted.

So in short, if this was your one and only sexual encounter in life as you claim then, relax and move on with your life.

Here's what you need to know to avoid HIV infection:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, every time, no exceptions. Consider talking to your healthcare provider about PrEP as an additional layer of HIV protection going forward

Keep in mind that some sexual practices which may be described as ‘safe’ in terms of HIV transmission might still pose a risk for transmission of other STI's, so please do get fully tested regularly and at least yearly for all STI's including but not limited to HIV and test more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs

Also, note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and the only way of knowing is by testing.

Kind regards

Jim

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« Last Edit: June 18, 2020, 12:50:01 pm by Jim Allen »
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Offline MyUsername

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Re: Unprotected cunnilingus, anxiety is killing me.
« Reply #2 on: June 18, 2020, 01:26:15 pm »
Thank you so much. I'm really better now.
Just to clarify that fear is mainly associated with socially living with HIV in my original country in which people believe HIV is transmitted by handshakes, and other myths.
I'm not sure whether I was overexaggerating. But I'm sure I'm not as anxious now as an hour ago, and I'll try to move on.
Again thank you for relieving that stress!

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Unprotected cunnilingus, anxiety is killing me.
« Reply #3 on: June 18, 2020, 02:27:16 pm »
Fears are thankfully not facts.

Glad to hear you are feeling better.
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline MyUsername

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Re: Unprotected cunnilingus, anxiety is killing me.
« Reply #4 on: June 27, 2020, 12:35:32 pm »
Hello,

I have done a PCR test 2 days ago (15 days after exposure) and the result came out as "RNA is not detected" today.

I know (and appreciate) that you advised me not to do an HIV test because I had no risk, and if I had, you wouldn't recommend a PCR. But that was the only way to stop my paranoia.

Is an HIV PCR test conclusive 15 days after an exposure? (on the clinic's website it's stated that it is "informative 10 days after a possible infection" but I'm not sure because it's translated)

The test's name is translated to: "Early diagnosis of infections: HCV RNA, HBV DNA, HIV-1 RNA, HIV-2 RNA (ultra-sensitive method) plasma, Qual."
Details: RealBest HBV / HCV / HIV PCR Series: 0592

Thank you very much!!

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Unprotected cunnilingus, anxiety is killing me.
« Reply #5 on: June 27, 2020, 02:12:57 pm »
Already answered.

You had no HIV exposure from what you posted.

Move on with your life and stop wasting your money on nonsense, if you ever do have a real exposure test with an approved antibodies test at the correct time.

Jim
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

 


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