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Author Topic: Hello routine question.  (Read 1948 times)

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Offline Hulkmania

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Hello routine question.
« on: June 06, 2020, 05:26:51 pm »
Hello everyone , thank you for letting me join the forum. I have a lot of questions , but I first want to talk about what I am going through right now I have come to the point where I have to avoid protected vaginal and anal sex and just receive oral sex. Idk how this paranoia/ phobia came to me out of nowhere, The problem right now is that every sexual encounter afterwards I have to analyze or ask myself if the condom broke ?but If the condom broke I would notice right? but what if there was tiny holes on the condom? what if there was blood from the other person? but if it was visible I would notice but what if it was just un visible that I couldnít notice the blood? Now Iíve read a lot of the posts on this forum have helped me a lot. I know there are a lot of theoretical ways we can think of a HIV infection risk but I want to know what do you recommend? Iíve always used condoms when it comes to anal and vaginal sex. So do I keep myself just focused on the known proved ways someone can be infected ? Like unprotected sex, sharing drug injections , getting stabbed? And just stop wasting my time obsessing with all these theoretical ways that never or rarely happen? Because the risk is there ? Is just that we never seen it happened. And I have to always be careful and worried. And Iím tired of always analyzing every time I have vaginal and oral sex and this has also ruined my life by worrying when hooking up, using the bathroom , getting haircuts etc. thank you so much for answering my questions

Offline Ptrk3

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Re: Hello routine question.
« Reply #1 on: June 06, 2020, 05:47:48 pm »
Firstly, everything in life is a risk, so what matters is that every person understands how to manage risk assessment.

In terms of the HIV, here's a good place to start:

https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/hiv-transmission-risks

Remember, there is no such thing as "safe sex."  But there is "safer sex."  Practice it properly, and it is very unlikely that you will contract the HIV (from sex).

If you have anxiety issues, it is best to seek assistance from your healthcare provider, to help you separate rational anxiety from irrational anxiety.  Perhaps some cognitive therapy would help you deal with any problems you may have with anxiety.

If you always properly use condoms for vaginal and anal sex, your chances of contracting the HIV is about as close to zero as possible.

Condoms are designed to shred if they are damaged or broken, so there is no reason for you to fret after the fact:  you would know it if your condom failed.

Finally, you can always test for HIV-antibodies, if you are in situations where your anxiety gets the best of you, to assure yourself that you remain negative for HIV-antibodies.
HIV 101 - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read more about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
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PEP and PrEP

Offline Hulkmania

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Re: Hello routine question.
« Reply #2 on: June 06, 2020, 06:29:09 pm »
Thank you I agree. Now with the last question do I focus on the actual proved risks. Or do you think these theoretical risks should be taken in mind? I mean yeah I know I should becareful always But I have come to the point were these theoretical risks are becoming a worry everytime I hook up.

Online Jim Allen

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Re: Hello routine question.
« Reply #3 on: June 06, 2020, 07:26:31 pm »
I think Ptrk has already answered this.

Focus on your real risks, so practice safer sex, don't share drug rigs/syringes.

Getting stabbed is an issue for many things, it's not a realistic HIV concern though. Using the bathroom and getting your haircut is not an HIV concern.

Sorry to hear about this ongoing fear/phobia but if these irrational fears keep worsening regarding never before happened events then consider speaking to a therapist. 

Here's what you need to know to avoid HIV infection:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, every time, no exceptions. Consider talking to your healthcare provider about PrEP as an additional layer of protection against HIV going forward.

Keep in mind that some sexual practices which may be described as safe in terms of HIV might still pose a risk for transmission of other far easier to acquire STI's, so please do get fully tested regularly and at least yearly for all STI's including but not limited to HIV and test more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs

Also, note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and the only way of knowing is by testing.

Kind regards

Jim

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HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
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Offline Hulkmania

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Re: Hello routine question.
« Reply #4 on: June 06, 2020, 08:05:37 pm »
My recent exposure I hooked up with a sex worker I received oral sex Fellatio and everything was okay but I left my face mask and sweater on her massage bed which Iím thinking was dirty and at the end when I left I had to put on my face mask and I have a worry that I could of gotten semen or blood on my face mask from a previous guy who saw her and maybe infected myself through the nose or eyes. I know I maybe sound irrational for this worry but yea and I also was worried when I received the oral sex btw she put on a condom. And what happened was I felt a liquid from her mouth which most likely was saliva because I donít recall seeing blood but yeah Iím worried if blood hit my wounds and burn blisters I had at the time on my arms and hand but for sure it hit my wounds and burn blisters. Now if this was to happen again in the future with vaginal fluids , blood  hitting my wounds or burn blisters should I worry ?

Online Jim Allen

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Re: Hello routine question.
« Reply #5 on: June 06, 2020, 08:16:28 pm »
I read your last post three times.

No HIV risk from this event whatsoever, none!
HIV is simply not transmitted the way you fear, move on with your life.

HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline Hulkmania

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Re: Hello routine question.
« Reply #6 on: June 06, 2020, 11:59:50 pm »
Thank you for helping me answering my questions. So regardless of blood, semen or vaginal fluids etc hitting wounds, cuts, blisters etc is not really a risk? This is what has made me avoid vaginal and anal sex. And I always been a person to use condom. So like you said just focus on always wearing condoms and focusing on the realistic proved ways hiv can be a risk ?

Online Jim Allen

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Re: Hello routine question.
« Reply #7 on: June 07, 2020, 02:33:20 am »
Correct.

Practice safer sex, don't share drug rigs/syringes.

Jim
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline Hulkmania

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Re: Hello routine question.
« Reply #8 on: July 13, 2020, 05:18:14 pm »
I went to go get tested std and hiv at the clinic and when I went in the room there was fresh blood on the floor and I told the nurse and he cleaned up the blood with the Clorox wipes but now I am worried that when he poked me when taking out my blood with the needle/ Syringe there was blood from the other person in the needle Because he didnít change his gloves or maybe got some blood from the other person in his skin. Iím I at risk or is HIV fragile once exposed to air/oxygen?

Online Jim Allen

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Re: Hello routine question.
« Reply #9 on: July 13, 2020, 05:31:21 pm »
You had no HIV risk.

Not changing his gloves if that even happened is not an HIV issue regardless of what they pricked you with.

I am sorry you keep having these fears, if you continue to feel this way then perhaps you should consider talking to a therapist to help you overcome this HIV angst.
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline Hulkmania

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Re: Hello routine question.
« Reply #10 on: July 13, 2020, 06:12:55 pm »
Iím tired of this it has made me live in fear and overthink a lot, thanks for answering my questions Jim I will try my best to stop this fears.

Online Jim Allen

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Re: Hello routine question.
« Reply #11 on: July 13, 2020, 06:18:55 pm »
You're welcome.

Look sorry to hear how this irrational fear impacting your life. However, it's not something you have to face alone, talk to your doctors or a therapist about your fears so they can help you to manage them.

Take care.
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline Hulkmania

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Re: Hello routine question.
« Reply #12 on: July 13, 2020, 10:04:16 pm »
Jim last question with what happened at the clinic I need to hear it from you? Do I move on ? Hiv is fragile when out a persons body?

Offline Hulkmania

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Re: Hello routine question.
« Reply #13 on: July 13, 2020, 10:08:26 pm »
Before I stop replying I wanna thank you again Jim thanks. Iím done I will stop replying take care.

Online Jim Allen

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Re: Hello routine question.
« Reply #14 on: July 14, 2020, 02:34:43 am »
You had no HIV risk from the clinic, move on with your life.

You had no HIV risk.

Not changing his gloves if that even happened is not an HIV issue regardless of what they pricked you with.

I am sorry you keep having these fears, if you continue to feel this way then perhaps you should consider talking to a therapist to help you overcome this HIV angst.
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline Hulkmania

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Re: Hello routine question.
« Reply #15 on: September 28, 2020, 02:41:43 pm »
Hello. I have a question I know I been told before to seek help with a professional because of anxiety. But I recently blacked out when drinking alcohol I remember some events that happened i did not black out for the whole night But I always find a reason to test every month or 2 months and I know thatís not how is got to be. Now I have this worry that I should of taken PEP, but if someone would of taken advantage of me while blacked out wouldnít I have felt it the next day? Iím heterosexual and never being a receiver through anal so I know for sure if something would of happened I would of felt soreness or pain waking up the next day. Now my question is, is it recommended to take PEP after a alcohol black out night? Or Iím i just overthinking?

Online Jim Allen

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Re: Hello routine question.
« Reply #16 on: September 28, 2020, 02:45:52 pm »
You're overthinking this.

If you had told me you went home with a guy and passed out during sex I would say sure maybe consider PEP.

However, passing out from being out on the piss in 99.99% of the cases does not require PEP. I'll spare you the drink less speech.

Jim
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline Hulkmania

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Re: Hello routine question.
« Reply #17 on: September 28, 2020, 02:57:36 pm »
Thanks Jim for always being there answering my questions. I think is the fear of me blacking out having no memory scares me and Iím always just thinking what if someone took advantage of me or had a quickie with me. Etc but is true Iím just overthinking creating all these what if this what if that....

Online Jim Allen

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Re: Hello routine question.
« Reply #18 on: September 28, 2020, 03:01:13 pm »
You're welcome.

The merry-go-round of testing you mentioned is also obviously not a helpful coping strategy. It's out of kindness when I say, if you continue to feel this way then perhaps  consider talking to a therapist to help you overcome this HIV angst.

Best, Jim

HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline Hulkmania

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Re: Hello routine question.
« Reply #19 on: September 28, 2020, 03:07:52 pm »
Yes Iím always testing once a month or once every 2 months. So what do you recommend me to do? I always use condoms with every woman I hook up with. Should I test every 3 months? Is that fine or is that also too much ?

Online Jim Allen

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Re: Hello routine question.
« Reply #20 on: September 28, 2020, 03:17:06 pm »
Look, it's great you have access to care that you can test more often.

However, considering even testing causes you angst and, you are engaging only in vaginal intercourse using condoms, testing once a year out of routine would be fine.
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline Hulkmania

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Re: Hello routine question.
« Reply #21 on: September 28, 2020, 03:27:55 pm »
Thank you so much Jim thatís True, I was testing to much that it was causing anxiety.
Now last thing. Iím not an alcoholic but obviously when having a great time with friends , bar, club etc. I sometimes black out I know In general we should all be careful with blacking out and is very embarrassing doing goofy things while intoxicated , but in the future if this happens again should I stop worrying about Hiv and not get obsessed with PEP? Or like you said unless I have real evidence, (like waking up next to someone ) then do get PEP? But yes I will do my best not to drink so fast again till I Black out.

Online Jim Allen

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Re: Hello routine question.
« Reply #22 on: September 28, 2020, 03:32:59 pm »
Hiya,

My previous answer already answers this.

You're overthinking this.

If you had told me you went home with a guy and passed out during sex I would say sure maybe consider PEP.

However, passing out from being out on the piss in 99.99% of the cases does not require PEP. I'll spare you the drink less speech.

Jim
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline Hulkmania

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Re: Hello routine question.
« Reply #23 on: September 28, 2020, 03:36:05 pm »
Thank you Jim.  I will do my best to relax with this anxiety thank you have a great day.

Online Jim Allen

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Re: Hello routine question.
« Reply #24 on: September 28, 2020, 03:55:38 pm »
You're welcome.
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

 


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