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Author Topic: a long time ago  (Read 601 times)

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Offline em

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a long time ago
« on: March 08, 2020, 03:03:58 pm »
A HIV memory from many years ago .

over  thirty years ago a local health care group had an HIV support group that met every Wednesday at 7. only a handful of people about five  to ten  showed up every week .   There was this one women about my age who said her husband gave her HIV. one night I asked her if she was hungry and wanted to get a pizza after the  group. so i had taken her to a pizza place we ate then I drove her home. In her drive way of the  place she was living she told me come inside she wanted me to meet her husband.  I had thought it was not what  I was expecting  . I had thought if he had given her HIV she would have been angry never forgave him then dumped him and moved on.  I had thought that to be what a reasonable person would have done .  beyond my expectations she had not .   they were still together. when I saw him he was a wasted away very thin and gaunt so sickly I did not know what to think . then the realization that this was my future in a very short time .  I left with this overwhelming fear  of my short life in front of me .    sickness and death that was in my near future .

again this was in 1989 over thirty years ago. 

the group went on for a about a couple or so years .  then after I was the only one to show up for about a month  I stopped going . found a place to call home and waited to die .   getting low minimum wage jobs that seems to always end with if you are not going to take this job seriously then don't come back or something like that .  the employers would always seem to think that if they are paying you even if it is the bare minimum . you should give it your all and be a perfect model  employee . that will probably never change . but the part about not dying form AIDS was a shocker to me and I can not help but feel that tomorrow I will be at that point again even after three decades of still being alive . 

I rather enjoyed talking with other people who had HIV and trying to over come the feeling of loneliness and  isolation.   The thought that the entire world did not want people like me around because of the HIV diagnosis . but here I am still kicking.

sorry if this does not have any thing worth debate or response just wanted to tell a story about HIV that I hope other might want to read .

You may ask if i was not making a lot of money how could I afford a car and pizza ?   you may ask . an old junk car that I kept running bare minimum insurance and with good luck it was within my budget to have a car . and well life goes on . 

there was a long time of mac and cheese ramen noodles and rice cutting up a chicken breast or chicken hot dogs into pieces to make a meal for my self and three roommates but we got by . a store brand food a loaf of cheap bread and a couple cans of whatever was cheapest and then time goes by.

always thinking that some day things will turn around that will be just after the cure for AIDS has been found ..   

the future is not known and it still may happen even  tho I am an old man now.

all the best to you



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