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Author Topic: very scared  (Read 1584 times)

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Offline mizd

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very scared
« on: February 08, 2020, 12:55:52 pm »
Hi, I'm from Italy. I'm sorry if my english isn't very good. I need help.
I had an encounter with a Sw. That's what happened:
1- she rubbed her vagina on my penis without penetration, for about 20-30 seconds.
2- she gave me oral sex with condom
3- we had vaginal sex with condom
My fears are:
concerning nr. 1, i had a pimple/ungrown hair that had broken 6 hours before on my pubis. I don't think it was bleeding at the moment but I don't checked. In everi case in Italy some doctors say genital rubbing can be a risky. In this forum it's repeatedly said that rubbing has no risk. I'm asking, is this information reported by medical evidnece? And in every case my pimple was a risk?
concerning nr. 3 at the end of the intercourse the condom was partially slipped, but the glans was covered. I'm scared that the condom broken without my noticing even if I saw it and I have not noticed anything strange.
I asked a forum managed by an association in Italy that said I'm only paranoic, but I'm still sacred, especially because another forum in Italy managed by docs says genital rubbing can be risky. Please,what do you think about it? Thank you

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: very scared
« Reply #1 on: February 08, 2020, 01:17:55 pm »
Hiya,

Rubbing is no HIV risk and it makes perfect sense there has never been a documented case in over 40 years of this pandemic. Same can be said for receiving a blowjob, as for intercourse the condom riding up slightly was also no concern.

Move on with your life and stop looking for an issue you don't have. I would agree your concerns are a tad paranoid

Here's what you need to know to avoid HIV infection:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, every time, no exceptions. Consider starting PrEP going forward as an additional layer of protection against HIV

Keep in mind that some sexual practices which may be described as safe in terms of HIV transmission might still pose a risk for transmission of other easier to transmit STI's, so please do get fully tested regularly and at least yearly for all STI's including but not limited to HIV and test more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs

Also, note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and the only way of knowing is by testing.

Kind regards

Jim

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Offline mizd

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Re: very scared
« Reply #2 on: February 08, 2020, 03:05:57 pm »
Thank you for your answer.
If possible I wish some information more.
As I said, some docs in Italy say tahat heavy petting, as rubbing genitlas can be risky, beacuse it's not possible to exclude that same fluids come into contact with mucosa.
Even the FAQs form Italian Health Ministry said that in the edition of past years, but in the edition of 2019 this data is not reported. So I'm confused, there's something about that in other countries' health authorities' guidelines?
Another thing. Can you confirm me thaht a broken condom is immediately visible, cause the glands remains clearly uncovered? In may case the condom was simply loppy

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: very scared
« Reply #3 on: February 08, 2020, 03:33:00 pm »
Hiya.

I met Doctors who think shaking hands is how HIV is transmitted ... it's not.
Now, I don't care or know why "some" Italian doctors are scaremongering or using (CYA) cover your ass publications. 

As explained rubbing against her vagina there has never been a documented case. None! Worrying about never before happened issues in life is a tad paranoid.

Firstly the fluids a woman produces when excited does not contain any viable HIV. It's a lubricating fluid produced from a separate gland, so your concern lacks exposure.

Also, HIV is fragile and once exposed outside the human body the outer receptors needed to infect you corrode leaving it unable to infect. Rubbing against (frottage) regardless of the fluid is still outside the human meaning the fluids you came into contact with were not a risk to you, in part because HIV is so fragile nobody has ever been sexually or from day to day contact infected with fluids that have first been exposed outside the body and you will not be the worlds first.

Quote
Can you confirm me thaht a broken condom is immediately visible, cause the glands remains clearly uncovered? In may case the condom was simply loppy

HIV can't transmit through an intact latex or polyurethane condom. If a condom fails during the act of intercourse it's obvious to the insertive partner. There is no reason to be stressing about intercourse ss long as this obvious issue did not happen.

Simply move on with your life, continue to use condoms and test out of routine at least yearly.
« Last Edit: February 08, 2020, 03:43:05 pm by Jim Allen »
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Offline mizd

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Re: very scared
« Reply #4 on: February 15, 2020, 05:48:44 am »
Hi, I'm sorry but I'm back here because some days anxiety destroys me.
About the protected vaginal intercourse I remeber that I felt something strange, like a rubbing sensation of the glans on something hard, and I can't explain to myself what it could be...I want to ask, if this thing I felt was the condom breaking, I would surely have noticed it after the intercourse? I hope I'm only anxious.

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: very scared
« Reply #5 on: February 15, 2020, 05:55:04 am »
It's simple if a condom fails during the act of intercourse it's obvious to the insertive partner. There is no reason to be stressing about intercourse as long as this obvious issue did not happen.

You're heading down the "what if" path of stressing or panicking everytime you have sex, it's irrational to do so and something you should prehaps consider talking to a therapist about before it gets worse.

Simply move on with your life, continue to use condoms and test out of routine at least yearly.
« Last Edit: March 08, 2020, 11:37:44 am by Jim Allen »
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
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HIV Testing
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Offline mizd

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Re: very scared
« Reply #6 on: February 15, 2020, 10:07:32 am »
Probably it's how you said, I'm too anxious, but let me  ask one more thing.
The condom was put by the Sw on my penis with her mouth and used both for oral and vaginal intercourse...I think that was the reason because the consom partially slipped, so I think it's better put with fingers, but I hope this don't change the fact thai if I saw the condom unbroken, it was not failed.

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: very scared
« Reply #7 on: February 15, 2020, 10:46:00 am »
Changes nothing, try to relax and stop overthinking this.

Do continue to use condoms for any intercourse, no exceptions! Test out of routine at least yearly for STI's & HIV
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
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HIV Testing
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Offline mizd

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Re: very scared
« Reply #8 on: March 08, 2020, 10:33:55 am »
Hi,
Sorry but after a month iím still anxious and my life quality is worsing.
What Iím overthinking... as I said at the end of the intercourse the condom wa split half a way. So Iím feraed that itís possibile that first the condom broke and then it partially skipped off, so I would not noticed the hole in the brad of the condom! Do you think itís possibile? I tried to recreate this ipotetic situation breaking a condom durino masturbation, and Iím fearing itís not so diffucult to happen

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: very scared
« Reply #9 on: March 08, 2020, 11:36:01 am »
No.

Stop overthinking this. Testing condoms yourself is irrational, rubbing yourself is nothing like the stress condoms endure during intercourse.

Continue to use condoms for any intercourse, no exceptions! Test out of routine at least yearly for STI's & HIV. There is nothing more I can do for you in this setting.

It's simple if a condom fails during the act of intercourse it's obvious to the insertive partner. There is no reason to be stressing about intercourse as long as this obvious issue did not happen.

You're heading down the "what if" path of stressing or panicking everytime you have sex, it's irrational to do so and something you should prehaps consider talking to a therapist about before it gets worse.

Simply move on with your life, continue to use condoms and test out of routine at least yearly.
« Last Edit: March 08, 2020, 11:44:52 am by Jim Allen »
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline mizd

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Re: very scared
« Reply #10 on: March 08, 2020, 12:53:32 pm »
Thank you for your answer, let me ask one last thing, then I will not post anything more and will try to move on, and if my mind will not be able to do so, Iíll get tested.
I understand that testing condona by my self is not very rational. But how itís possible to exclcude that a condom first broke and then partially slipped? Itís because itís not compatible with the movement du ring intercourse?

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: very scared
« Reply #11 on: March 08, 2020, 01:01:31 pm »
Hiya,

Already answered, I don't do repeating myself as no matter in how many slightly different ways you ask, the answer ultimately is the same. So stop looking for issues that don't exist.

If you keep having these ongoing thoughts consider speaking to a therapist.

Jim
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

 


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