Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
October 22, 2020, 12:18:54 am

Login with username, password and session length


Members
  • Total Members: 35555
  • Latest: xarris
Stats
  • Total Posts: 756723
  • Total Topics: 63993
  • Online Today: 252
  • Online Ever: 4912
  • (November 13, 2019, 02:56:14 am)
Users Online
Users: 0
Guests: 222
Total: 222

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Do I Have HIV?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Welcome to Do I Have HIV?

Welcome to the "Do I Have HIV?" POZ forum.

This special section of the POZ forum is for individuals who have concerns about whether or not they are HIV positive. Individuals are permitted to post up to three questions or responses in this forum.

Ongoing participation in the "Do I Have HIV?" forum (posting more than three questions or responses) requires a paid subscription, with secure payments made via PayPal.

A seven-day subscription is $9.99, a 30-day subscription is $14.99 and a 90-day subscription is $24.99.

Anyone who needs to post more than three messages in the "Do I Have HIV?" forum -- including past, present and future POZ Forums members -- will need to subscribe, with secure payments made via PayPal.

There is no charge to read threads in the "Do I Have HIV?" forum, nor will there be a charge for participating in any of the other POZ forums. In addition, the POZ Basics "HIV Transmission and Risks" and "HIV Testing" basics, will remain accessible to all.

NOTE: HIV testing questions will still need to be posted in the "Do I Have HIV?" forum; attempts to post HIV symptoms or testing questions in any other forums will be considered violations of our rules of membership and subject to time-outs and permanent bans.

To learn how to upgrade your Forums account to participate beyond three posts in the "Do I Have HIV?" Forum, please click here.

Thank you for your understanding and future support of the best online support service for people living with, affected by and at risk for HIV.

Author Topic: Stressed out, fear of contracted HIV  (Read 1271 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline TheGuy84

  • Standard
  • Member
  • Posts: 3
Stressed out, fear of contracted HIV
« on: February 15, 2020, 11:38:38 pm »
Good day POZ team.

I just found out about your wonderful forum and decided to seek some assurance against what is supposed to be "harmless" in a way, but I kept overthinking things and this made me stressed out and I've been like this for weeks...

So this is what happened. On Jan 29th, 2020, I was engaged in a sexual intercourse (protected) with a sex worker in a spa. Before the action, I did ask for her health status at that moment, to which she claimed that she is healthy and just got herself checked 2 weeks ago (from that date). As usual, the act involved some french kiss, cunningulus, oral sex (not protected) and of course, the intercourse (protected). The condom was provided by the sex worker, so I have no idea if the condom was in good condition or what, but I dont think its broken, though not sure about small needle hole (if any). Just found out that broken condom meant totally broken (some says when its broken, ur penis will looks like its wearing hula skirt and will only have the ring left).

Anyway, before doing that all, I usually made sure that I'm in total good health like no open wound on my penis, mouth or the like. But I'm pretty easy to get sore gum which could lead to bleeding when you pushed it. But due to this stress I have, now I'm also questioning if I'm really in good condition back then...

We did french kiss (pretty sure her mouth was not bleeding or have any bleeding gum because I didnt really taste any iron taste (from blood)), cunningulus (for about 30 - 60 secs max) and blowjob, plus protected sex from beginning until the end. During the sex, I did check on the condom and it was looking okay and plus, I didnt come in her as well. I pulled out (condom still intact) and she handjob me until I come.

After that event, I took rapid test twice (³rd gen antibody rapid test) on 5th and 13th day after the deed, and it came out negative. I know this is ridiculous because its not window period yet. But I just couldnt help it... Also, I started to get diarrhea since last Monday (10th day after the deed) until today and this led me to think that I could have been infected by HIV. The diarrhea I have is not like total watery and its not like I'm always in constant need to visit the restroom. Also its not total water, just very soft one and a bit mud-like, though sometimes can be a bit normal. Plus, I havent taken any medication to take care of this and just rely on myself. But I just took some chinese med today. No other symptoms like sore throat, oral thrush, swollen lymph, fever, rash or anything that could relate to HIV except for the mild diarrhea. I got a feeling that this diarrhea might be the result of my anxiety attack and/or a food poisoning... Though again, I'm not sure.

I'm now totally obsessed with finding out to the point where I keep checking for any symptoms in me, checking whether the girl is still working in the spa (my thought on this is, if she's sick, the spa will definitely not let her work there anymore. So if she is still working there, that would mean she is healthy) and even asked the latest update from the spa admin about the latest check up she did (which they claimed was done on Feb 1st). But I'm not a very trusting guy, so I cant really believe this without seeing proof.

So from this event, I have questions. In case she is HIV positive, how big is the chance for me to contract HIV through:

1. French Kiss (if I did have sore gum)
2. Cunningulus (again, if I have sore gum or even bleeding gum)
3. Any chance of contracting HIV at all?
4. Do you think I need to check myself again on 4th week?

Kindly advise, because I'm super stressed out now... Cant really think things clearly...

Offline Jim Allen

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 16,152
  • Twitter @JimAllenDublin
    • HIV Lessons
Re: Stressed out, fear of contracted HIV
« Reply #1 on: February 16, 2020, 04:21:56 am »
Quote
I did ask for her health status at that moment, to which she claimed that she is healthy and just got herself checked 2 weeks ago (from that date).

Cool. Glad she is healthy, I Just had my check-up a few weeks ago and I'm perfectly healthy as well. Thankfully with medication, I can live perfectly healthy and can live as long an HIV negative peer.

Quote
I'm now totally obsessed with finding out to the point where I keep checking for any symptoms in me, checking whether the girl is still working in the spa (my thought on this is, if she's sick, the spa will definitely not let her work there anymore. So if she is still working there, that would mean she is healthy) and even asked the latest update from the spa admin about the latest check up she did (which they claimed was done on Feb 1st). But I'm not a very trusting guy, so I cant really believe this without seeing proof.

Her HIV status or health is not your business. You paid for her services and they have been fulfilled, do yourself a favour and leave the women alone now. Also, even if she tested today and the result was negative all it means is she was negative some 3 months ago for sure so no good to you. If she was living with HIV it could well be she is on treatment and no danger to you, more to the point regardless of treatment status what you posted simply is not an HIV concern!

Quote
As usual, the act involved some french kiss, cunningulus, oral sex (not protected) and of course, the intercourse (protected).

I read your post and questions fully, here is the answer.

Nothing you mentioned would be an HIV concern, put it behind you.
I'll add regarding the intercourse with your partner, HIV can't transmit through an intact latex or polyurethane condom. If a condom fails during the act of intercourse it's obvious to the insertive partner. There is no reason to be stressing about intercourse as long as this obvious issue did not happen.

So if this was your only sexual encounter then move on with your life. Continue to use condoms for any intercourse and test out of standard routine at least yearly for STI's and HIV

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid HIV infection:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, every time, no exceptions.  Consider starting PrEP as an additional layer of HIV prevention going forward.

Keep in mind that some sexual practices which may be described as safe in terms of HIV might still pose a risk for transmission of other far easier to acquire STI's, so please do get fully tested regularly and at least yearly for all STI's including but not limited to HIV and test more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs

Also, note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and the only way of knowing is by testing.

More information on HIV Basics, PEP, TaSP and Transmission can be found through the links in my signature.

Kind regards

Jim

Please Note.
As a member of the AM, I Infected Forum you are required to only post in this one thread no matter how long between visits or the subject matter. You can find this thread by going to your profile and selecting show own post and it will take you here. It helps us to help you when you keep all your thoughts or questions in one thread and it helps other readers to follow the discussion. Any additional threads will be deleted.
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline TheGuy84

  • Standard
  • Member
  • Posts: 3
Re: Stressed out, fear of contracted HIV
« Reply #2 on: February 16, 2020, 05:42:43 am »
Hi Jim. Thank you for the prompt reply.

First of all, in case u mistaken me for stalking those girls, I'm not...  ;) What I do is usually only check the list of availability of these girls in their threads in a forum. If she's mentioned, then that means she is working that day. But I'll leave her alone. Promise.

So in short, you are saying that I'm in no way (not even one super small chance) be affected with HIV in case she's indeed HIV positive? Then what about the cunningulus with probable sore or even bleeding gum? Coz I read in most of the posting about the way HIV transmitted, most of them are saying that if you have sore or bleeding gum, then the chance of contracting HIV is there through her vaginal discharge... Could you elaborate a bit on this so that I understand a bit more what you are saying? Like the vaginal discharge for instance, coz as far as I understand, vaginal discharge is one of the few medium that actually carry HIV virus in it...

How about the test? Do you think I should go and take another one after 3, 4 or 5 weeks? Or you are certain that there's no way I could contracted HIV at all that I dont need to test anymore?

And yes, that is my only sexual intercourse so far. I have no intention to repeat that again, because the anxiety attack really put me on edge like never before...  I couldnt even enjoyed the vacation I had a week ago...

One more question though. Is it possible that this diarrhea which came earlier is a result of the stress?

Then there's also the diarrhea that started last monday? How about that?
« Last Edit: February 16, 2020, 05:49:13 am by TheGuy84 »

Offline Jim Allen

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 16,152
  • Twitter @JimAllenDublin
    • HIV Lessons
Re: Stressed out, fear of contracted HIV
« Reply #3 on: February 16, 2020, 05:51:30 am »
Quote
How about the test? Do you think I should go and take another one after 3, 4 or 5 weeks? Or you are certain that there's no way I could contracted HIV at all that I dont need to test anymore?

If you posted is truly your only sexual encounter in life then you don't have a reason to run out and test. Move on with your life.

Quote
So in short, you are saying that I'm in no way (not even one super small chance) be affected with HIV in case she's indeed HIV positive? Then what about the cunningulus with probable sore or even bleeding gum?

There are no confirmed cases of cunnilingus leading to the transmission of HIV.
See the fluid a woman produces when sexually excited comes from the Bartholin's glands, this is a lubricating fluid and does not have any more hiv present than other bodily secretions such as saliva, sweat or tears.  Saliva, sweat and tears are not infectious fluids.

This is only one problem with this being a risk next to the many barriers to this concern, all in all, simple Cunnilingus does not meet the biological requirements needed for HIV transmission.

If you want to stress about CYA (Cover your ass) publications or theoretical risks/events that have yet to occur at this stage (After 40 years and 80+ million infections) it would be paranoid if you ask me.
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline TheGuy84

  • Standard
  • Member
  • Posts: 3
Re: Stressed out, fear of contracted HIV
« Reply #4 on: February 16, 2020, 06:08:13 am »
Hi Jim.

Thank you so much for yet another prompt and fast reply.

If thats how you put it and you're super sure about it, that means I have no reason to be afraid at all. And honestly speaking, I have no idea that vaginal discharge and the lubricating liquid are two different thing... Here I thought, since I was in contact with her lubricating liquid directly, I could probably get infected... But is it possible for the girls to also produce vaginal discharge during the sexual excitement? I recalled one more thing though, where after a couple of secs of cunningulus,  she did tell me to stop because it felt weird (hence the short cunningulus act, not more than 60 secs perhaps)...

And yes. Thats the only sexual intercourse I had until today.

Also yes, those theoritical articles did make me super paranoid... I've been going through every articles available regarding HIV symptoms, Window period, seroconversion, how effective is 3rd gen test kit, etc...

Regarding one of my questions, how about the diarrhea? Is it possible I got that diarrhea because of the stress and not because of HIV?

Offline Jim Allen

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 16,152
  • Twitter @JimAllenDublin
    • HIV Lessons
Re: Stressed out, fear of contracted HIV
« Reply #5 on: February 16, 2020, 06:32:49 am »
 
Quote
Here I thought, since I was in contact with her lubricating liquid directly, I could probably get infected... But is it possible for the girls to also produce vaginal discharge during the sexual excitement? I recalled one more thing though, where after a couple of secs of cunningulus,  she did tell me to stop because it felt weird (hence the short cunningulus act, not more than 60 secs perhaps)...

Assessed and answered already.

Quote
Regarding one of my questions, how about the diarrhea? Is it possible I got that diarrhea because of the stress and not because of HIV?

You had no exposure so you can't be sick from something you don't have.

Diarrhea isn't HIV specific, in fact just about everything and nothing at all in life could cause diarrhea.

Finally I know what you said however I'll repeat, if this was your only sexual encounter in life then move on already. Use condoms for any intercourse, no exceptions and test out of standard routine at least yearly for STI's and HIV
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline Jim Allen

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 16,152
  • Twitter @JimAllenDublin
    • HIV Lessons
Re: Stressed out, fear of contracted HIV
« Reply #6 on: February 18, 2020, 11:00:01 pm »
Hiya,

Trying to create multiple accounts is going to lead to a ban, so stop.

There is nothing you could say that would make any difference whatsoever to the assessment given, so unless you have had other ongoing exposures or activities not previously mentioned here there is nothing for us to discuss and no reason for you to be posting here.

You have had an assessment and, what you do with it is up-to-you.

My recommendation is to move on with your life, use condoms for any intercourse, test at least yearly out of routine and consider talking to your health care provider about PrEP going forward for peace of mind and as an additional layer of protection against HIV.

Jim
« Last Edit: February 18, 2020, 11:04:01 pm by Jim Allen »
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2020 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.