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Author Topic: My First Try At Dating  (Read 918 times)

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Offline MrHopeful

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  • Posts: 17
  • Where there is life, there is hope!
My First Try At Dating
« on: January 26, 2020, 07:49:50 pm »
I decide I shouldn’t date until I had been undetectable for 6 months. A couple of weeks before Xmas, I went to a posada here in CDMX and made a connection with a woman, we hung around that night and spent the next day to get her. We had a chaste kiss that night.

During our day together I ended up telling her I was HIV positive and explained about treatment and U=U. She seemed pretty chill until she started texting me later that evening asking me if I could have infected her. I explained that even if I had not in treatment and we had deep kissed it wouldn’t be a risk, so a chaste kids with U=U is also not a risk. 

She said she need some time to think things through, and I’ve not heard from her since. Which sucked.

It makes me feel like just not telling women I’d date about my status, which is just not an option for me.

If anyone has dating tips, I’d be greatfull!
Diagnosed: 2/18/19
Viral Load: 175000
CD4: 330
Started Tirumeq: 4/22/19
5/22/19
Viral Load: 320
CD4:639
8/14/19
Viral Load: Undetectable
9/17/19 Start Biktarvy

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: My First Try At Dating
« Reply #1 on: January 27, 2020, 05:55:12 am »
Hiya

Sorry to hear that it did not end in anything, although, it's better to know sooner rather than later if someone can cope. Let's be honest rejection sucks no matter what the reason particularly if you like the person.

I suspect not every date or meet resulted in an instant love affair before your diagnosis, now unfortunately some people are narrow-minded and can't handle the idea of having a partner with manageable conditions.  Weed them out.

My experience is don't give up, keep trying, don't get disheartened.

Jim 
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Offline MrHopeful

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  • Posts: 17
  • Where there is life, there is hope!
Re: My First Try At Dating
« Reply #2 on: February 01, 2020, 09:05:37 pm »
Thanks Jim!
Diagnosed: 2/18/19
Viral Load: 175000
CD4: 330
Started Tirumeq: 4/22/19
5/22/19
Viral Load: 320
CD4:639
8/14/19
Viral Load: Undetectable
9/17/19 Start Biktarvy

Offline harleymc

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,411
Re: My First Try At Dating
« Reply #3 on: February 02, 2020, 03:55:35 pm »
We will get rejections, that is for sure.  But the people who reject hi est information about HIV were never going to be suitable partners.

For someone who has never had to deal with HIV what we tell them is a lot to think about all in one go. I'm married now, but in the days I was on the dating scene I had some websites bookmarked about I=I. 

I would tell my potential partner I have HIV but it is well controlled and safe.  Can I send you some links to reputable web sites to explai this better than I can.

I would the phone them to check they had the links, and phone or message them 2 days later.

If they responded I was happy, if they didn't that was a little sad but at least they were now better informed for the future.

It is difficult to have to go into educator mode when you're in the mood to get to know someone. It can be tiring. But however it works out, we have made the world a bit better each time.

Offline MrHopeful

  • Member
  • Posts: 17
  • Where there is life, there is hope!
Re: My First Try At Dating
« Reply #4 on: February 04, 2020, 07:07:59 pm »
Thanks Harley!
Diagnosed: 2/18/19
Viral Load: 175000
CD4: 330
Started Tirumeq: 4/22/19
5/22/19
Viral Load: 320
CD4:639
8/14/19
Viral Load: Undetectable
9/17/19 Start Biktarvy

 


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