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Author Topic: Revealing your status to a partner  (Read 433 times)

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Offline StuckKidd

  • Member
  • Posts: 13
Revealing your status to a partner
« on: December 01, 2019, 02:58:25 pm »
Hey!

It's me again! Thanks again for all your help!

So I've just started talking to this dude, its pretty new.
thinking about when and how to bring up my status?

Any tips.Advice?

Offline MrAlwaysAnxious

  • Member
  • Posts: 11
  • I survived, and the world deserves to know that.
Re: Revealing your status to a partner
« Reply #1 on: December 01, 2019, 11:45:24 pm »
Hi,

I hope you are well.

The person I am currently dating (we moved in together quite recently) knew about my status a few hours prior to our first date. I told him because I figured it was better to not waste my time on someone who could not see past three letters (HIV).

I recommend that you tell this person about your status when you feel comfortable (and also safe) doing so. I can almost certainly say that only you know when the time is right. However, remember that your time is valuable. If he cannot accept you, or see past those three letters, he does not deserve the love you have to offer.

I hope that helps.

Dx: 3/15/19
CD4: 349/33% on 3/20/19
VL: 9,820,000 on 3/20/19
Rx: Started Symtuza on 3/15/19
CD4: 771/39% on 4/16/19
VL: 484 on 4/16/19

Offline StuckKidd

  • Member
  • Posts: 13
Re: Revealing your status to a partner
« Reply #2 on: December 02, 2019, 09:41:02 pm »
Hi yes! this helped a lot!

Did you call them or text them? like was in person?

I'm really nervous about having this conversation because we've been talking for a couple of days but connected instantly and I feel like it might too late to bring up.

Any tips on how you did it? like what did you say?
Sorry for all the questions - just really anxious about this.

Offline Jim Allen

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    • HIV Lessons
Re: Revealing your status to a partner
« Reply #3 on: December 02, 2019, 10:00:35 pm »
I can only share my experience and what works for me, keep in mind this will be different for everyone.

Generally, what works for me is doing it early on so I know where I stand, no point wasting time and I do it face-to-face. Do keep in mind once you disclose the person may have questions, so be prepared for that.

I'm very comfortable with myself so depending on the situation I would go with something like:

"Just so you know, I take medication for a very manageable condition, it's not a concern but I am living with HIV. "

Or

" Wanted to tell you something you may not know. I'm healthy but I do have a very manageable medical condition that means I have to take daily medication,  I am living with HIV. "

Whatever happens, don't just blurt it out and keep in mind you can't control how someone might react, just the delivery of the message.

I know poz.com have a lesson on this topic that includes the scenario about disclosing to potential dates https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/disclosure

Best Jim
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Transmission and Risks:
HIV Transmission and Risks
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline BKKKevin

  • Member
  • Posts: 138
Re: Revealing your status to a partner
« Reply #4 on: December 03, 2019, 09:18:04 pm »
Also best to disclose before any physical contact (even kissing) as allows the person time to become accustomed and learn about it without any personal fears & misconceptions getting in the way of acceptance...

Offline StuckKidd

  • Member
  • Posts: 13
Re: Revealing your status to a partner
« Reply #5 on: December 04, 2019, 07:40:57 pm »
UPDATE: Had the convo and it went well! Did it now before any kissing and other stuff so he can come to terms without fearing for himself. he really took the time to research so that was great advice!

Thanks guys!! Love you all!

Offline Jim Allen

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    • HIV Lessons
Re: Revealing your status to a partner
« Reply #6 on: December 05, 2019, 01:27:08 am »
Glad to hear it went well  :)
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Transmission and Risks:
HIV Transmission and Risks
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

 


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