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Author Topic: Please asses my risk  (Read 944 times)

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Offline HelloImAnxious123

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Please asses my risk
« on: November 01, 2019, 10:18:59 am »
Iím going through a drama which is making me go crazy ó would be good if I can get some clarity of the situation (Iíve been magnifying everything and googling every single day which is not helping)

what happened -
1. Showered and then engaged with unprotected oral (2 - 4 licks at the tip where the sw wiped with wet tissue before). I stopped that immediately.

no kissing at all.

2. Proceed to put on condom (supplied myself) and proceed to vaginal. Throughout, I felt my penis has gone limp (under influence of alcohol as well) and then pulled it out. Realised the condom got a bit weared out (as sheís really dry and use lube throughout). Not sure if the condom slipped / broke but the top cover part is not aligned with the penis. We immediately changed and finish the deed within the next 20 seconds.

and now...
- I understand I may or may not have been exposed but Iím on day 8 of my PEP now (started within 18 hours)

- anxious about the test as I have to wait another 26 days at least before I can do the test.

- also ďanticipatingĒ when will the symptoms of other stds present itself (is there a recommended time that I can go and test this in the meantime)

Please help

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Please asses my risk
« Reply #1 on: November 01, 2019, 10:31:34 am »
Hiya,

Quote
the top cover part is not aligned with the penis

HIV can't transmit through an intact condom and as long as the head of your penis was covered it's not an issue.  So was the head of your penis covered by the condom?

Nothing else you mentioned was an HIV concern.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid HIV infection:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, every time, no exceptions. Consider starting PrEP as an additional layer of HIV protection going forward

Keep in mind that some sexual practices which may be described as Ďsafeí in terms of HIV transmission might still pose a risk for transmission of other STI's, so please do get fully tested regularly and at least yearly for all STI's including but not limited to HIV and test more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs

Also, note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and the only way of knowing is by testing.

More information on HIV Basics, PEP, TaSP and Transmission can be found through the links in my signature to our POZ pages

Kind regards

Jim

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As a member of the AM I Infected Forum you are required to only post in this one thread no matter how long between visits or the subject matter. You can find this thread by going to your profile and selecting show own post and it will take you here . It helps us to help you when you keep all your thoughts or questions in one thread and it helps other readers to follow the discussion. Any additional threads will be deleted.
 

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Offline HelloImAnxious123

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Re: Please asses my risk
« Reply #2 on: November 01, 2019, 10:50:22 am »
Hiya,

HIV can't transmit through an intact condom and as long as the head of your penis was covered it's not an issue.  So was the head of your penis covered by the condom?

Nothing else you mentioned was an HIV concern.


This is the parts thatís bit hazy as the room was dark. Realised this when we want to change position, certainly did not hear a pop sound.

Also, my penis has gone half erect just before I pulled out and see this . It looked like the half erect penis couldnít fully ďfitĒ into the condom, hence leaving ďroomĒ at the top part. It also looked wrinkly and soggy and hence changed for a new one.

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Please asses my risk
« Reply #3 on: November 01, 2019, 10:55:47 am »
Hiya

Room in the top of the condom, it slipping somewhat or looking wrinkled post intercourse is not an HIV issue.

If this was your only sexual encounter then relax and move on with your life.

Jim

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PEP and PrEP

Offline HelloImAnxious123

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Re: Please asses my risk
« Reply #4 on: November 02, 2019, 09:14:05 pm »
Using my last reply as this has been driving me nuts (the cause of the whole anxiety drama)

This is all during the hazy part -

1. Felt a ďchangeĒ in sensation as i was going 90% erect to about 50% ó felt more like losing sensation.

2. Took out and saw the condom head is not aligned with the penis head. Looked like the condom tip is on the left side (flat) while the penis head is on the right side (at the middle). Losing erection will surely cause the penis to not fully fit the condom right? I did try to poke my penis head directly check but it didnít feel any different.

The base was still intact and did not shred to pieces. I really canít recall if itís broken or not. I did take it on my hand to inspect, itís still in one piece (soggy/wrinkly) but I failed to check thoroughly to see if thereís any smaller holes / lesion around the tip area which could have jeopardise me. The fact that sheís really dry (used lube every now and then) also makes me worry as I know this will increase breakage. The sex wasnít rough and the first condom was used for about 10 minutes before we changed.

3. Upon pulling out, the csw saw and said ďhereís a new oneĒ has me questioning whether is it broken or not. If itís not broken, why would she say ďhereís a new oneĒ instead of ďletís change to a new oneĒ

4. Once changed, continued on for 10-15 sec and finished outside, I saw the sperm flowed into the condom.

5. Currently on PEP and for the last 6 days (of a 30 day regime of truvada and tivicay) of my tablet, Iíll be travelling to a different time zone. Where I usually eat my PEP at 8pm (home local time), which will be around 1pm at the destination. Doctor has advised to consume following my original local time, equivalent to 1pm (destination time). please tell me this will not affect the efficacy of the tablets, Iím really worried.

I am really tempted to visit the csw to clarify if the condom indeed broke to give me a peace of mind but I donít know if itíll be of use.

Iím also really keen to do a quick p24 test (through specialist) on Day 23 before I fly off just to get an early indication. In your opinion, will this be some sort reliable? Else Iíll have to wait another 10 days before I can check.

I have been replaying the scenario in my head the whole night trying to remember if it really break but itís all just through memory now and can be really dangerous/unreliable as time goes by. 

Hoping to hear some clarification, the anxiety is eating me up.

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Please asses my risk
« Reply #5 on: November 02, 2019, 10:38:31 pm »
Nothing you mentioned changed the assessment. If this was your only sexual encounter in life then relax and move on.

If a condom fails during intercourse it's obvious to the person wearing it no amount of the room being dark will change that, the sex worker changing the condom is not an indication of this issue, it's simply common sense to change condoms if they have started to slip and between acts. Anyhow stressing about intercourse without a clear reason is a touch paranoid, I don't know what has you so triggered post this specific encounter but I hope you don't feel this way every time you have sex.

Now if you ever do have a risk that warrants testing or PEP then an hour difference in taking the meds is not an issue and P24 testing is not recommended as a standalone test as it's not conclusive. If you do ever have a real risk and take PEP then test at 6 weeks post finishing PEP for a result with an approved antibodies test.


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HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline HelloImAnxious123

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Re: Please asses my risk
« Reply #6 on: November 03, 2019, 06:38:36 am »
Hey Jim,

I went on a subs and thanks for being so patient with me thus far. I understand you get questions like these every single day but please bear with me.

If a condom fails during intercourse it's obvious to the person wearing it no amount of the room being dark will change that, the sex worker changing the condom is not an indication of this issue, it's simply common sense to change condoms if they have started to slip and between acts. Anyhow stressing about intercourse without a clear reason is a touch paranoid, I don't know what has you so triggered post this specific encounter but I hope you don't feel this way every time you have sex.

Now if you ever do have a risk that warrants testing or PEP then an hour difference in taking the meds is not an issue and P24 testing is not recommended as a standalone test as it's not conclusive. If you do ever have a real risk and take PEP then test at 6 weeks post finishing PEP for a result with an approved antibodies test.


1. The trigger point for me in this whole anxiety attack  is not knowing / did not confirm if the first condom was indeed tore. Itís still in one piece thatís for sure as I picked it up to see. But Iím just afraid it broke in such a manner that itís just a hole / opening somewhere from mid part to tip area which could expose the penis tip.

This is the part where I kept doubting myself. The more I try to recall, the more unsure I become. Itís also because of guilt, shame and stress from the entire event, first time engaging with prostitute.

2. With regards to the PEP consumption, what I meant is there will be an 8 hour time difference. I was advise to consume following MY homeís local time. I normally eat it around 8pm in my home country, which will be 1pm in UK.

On another note - I have also been really clean with what I eat, not sure if this will help.

Thanks in advance, for being so helpful and supportive. The forum is whatís helping me go through every day. Bit by bit
« Last Edit: November 03, 2019, 06:40:50 am by HelloImAnxious123 »

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Please asses my risk
« Reply #7 on: November 03, 2019, 06:56:33 am »
Hiya,

Look tad blunt but what you eat will make no difference neither will changing the time you take the pill for an imaginary risk.

When a condom breaks during the act of intercourse it's obvious as in leaving no doubt, this didn't happen. There is nothing further to confirm its just irrational fears.

I hope you don't stress like this every time you have sex, if you do it's something to discuss with a therapist to help you cope.

Jim
« Last Edit: November 03, 2019, 06:59:06 am by Jim Allen »
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Transmission and Risks:
HIV Transmission and Risks
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
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HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
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PEP and PrEP

Offline HelloImAnxious123

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Re: Please asses my risk
« Reply #8 on: November 03, 2019, 08:01:04 am »
Hiya,

Look tad blunt but what you eat will make no difference neither will changing the time you take the pill for an imaginary risk.

When a condom breaks during the act of intercourse it's obvious as in leaving no doubt, this didn't happen. There is nothing further to confirm its just irrational fears.

I hope you don't stress like this every time you have sex, if you do it's something to discuss with a therapist to help you cope.

Jim

Hey Jim, again thanks for being so quick.

Yes this imaginary risk will be an eye-opening experience for me. I just canít wait to finish the medication and test. I guess the waiting is what makes is even harder.

Never felt like this with sex, with all my previous and current relationship ó itís always a happy moment. So itís only for this one instance Iím feeling like this. I never visited prostitutes, hence the magnified fear I guess?

As time difference between countries are tricky - just wanted to make sure that I eat the meds around the same time as I have always been (24 hours between each intake). Itíll be for the last 6 dose so I wouldnít want to screw it up.

I know Iím repeating myself but just wanna share the feelings / actions as accurately as possible to see if your view will remain ó
What prompted me to pull out is I was getting a different sensation (soft, sore, doesnít feel ďfullĒ and awkward to thrust) while losing my erection. And because thereís 2 things happening at once (going soft and losing feel) - I am worried if this is where the condom may have break without realising (supposedly have change in sensation if it broke right, would this be ďthatĒ sensation that I felt?)

In your experience, were there any condoms break but did not shred dramatically?

As shared, when I took it out ó the condom tip was not aligned with the penis head. the base was still covering the end, and penis head is around the centre of a fully flat condom and the top part is all not utilised (soggy on the left side).  Condom still intact (one piece). To add, she was really dry too.

I hope Iím making sense with the above message.

And this forum is the only place I can really talk about it, hence I hope you do not get overly annoyed.

Thanks in advance.
« Last Edit: November 03, 2019, 08:18:53 am by HelloImAnxious123 »

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Please asses my risk
« Reply #9 on: November 03, 2019, 08:36:22 am »
Hiya,

I've answered all these questions already, you have to apply the information already provided.

Now I am truly sorry that you are stressed about this but it's simple you don't have HIV from this incident as what you posted was no exposure, move on with your life. I'm not going to pretend otherwise or that you required PEP as it would be a disservice to you and the community.

In short, if you continue to post about this none existing HIV issue I am going to give you a ban from the forum out of kindness to encourage you to speak to therapist.

 
Quote
previous and current relationship

If I don't point this out it would be wrong. If you have been engaging in unprotected intercourse with your partner this would meet all the biological conditions needed for acquiring HIV.

Now I don't judge couples that decide to engage in unprotected intercourse, it's often based on trust within a relationship, however, just note this trust or faith does not prevent HIV and any unprotected intercourse is simply accepting a possible risk to you of acquiring HIV. Test regularly, understand your real risks.

Best, Jim
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
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Transmission and Risks:
HIV Transmission and Risks
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HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline HelloImAnxious123

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Re: Please asses my risk
« Reply #10 on: November 03, 2019, 08:44:10 am »
Hey Jim,

Thanks for being so quick, as usual.

Your responses do help me feel better, you have no idea how many times Iíve reread the conversation ó was just trying my luck to get a bit more assessment with the follow up questions.

I understand my anxiety (pertaining to the first condom) is consuming me on this matter. Will find ways to cope until the test.

Offline HelloImAnxious123

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Re: Please asses my risk
« Reply #11 on: November 05, 2019, 02:36:35 am »
Hey Jim,

Just wanna share some update ó
As compared to the first few days (first week), I was a total mess consumed by guilt and fear. Hence all the irrationalities in thinking.

I still am anxious and reading through your answers helped a lot in getting through the day. Though, I still have my uncertainty with regards to the first condom but I wonít pester again for an answer.

I just read that changing to a new condom after one has gone flaccid mid-way is totally normal / avoid air in the old one and for a better fit which calms me abit.

Is there any advice you can share for me to calm my anxiety and worry? I am the type that needs to test before I can let go.

Honestly, this is the only place I can share and I hope you can lend a ear, even if youíre not accessing my case.

Thanks again.

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Please asses my risk
« Reply #12 on: November 05, 2019, 03:36:17 am »
Hiya,

So far the only thing that warrants any concern is your regular partner yet you remain focused on things that simply don't warrant this level of attention. I also understand that fear can be very overwhelming but it's also blinded you to the truth, I hope you can move past this soon. 

I am however giving you a 28-day ban from the forum. This ban is out of kindness as I can't help you with irrational fears, it's to encourage you to seek support from a therapist who can help you cope with your thoughts.

Finally, start looking after yourself by using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, every time, no exceptions. Consider starting PrEP as an additional layer of HIV protection going forward and test out of standard routine at least yearly for HIV & STI's


Best, Jim
« Last Edit: November 05, 2019, 12:13:59 pm by Jim Allen »
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Transmission and Risks:
HIV Transmission and Risks
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
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HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

 


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