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Author Topic: Infection Anxiety  (Read 1784 times)

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Offline Arara

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Infection Anxiety
« on: October 17, 2019, 03:59:55 pm »
Almost 3 weeks ago i had sex with a csw that i booked using a social media app, it was my first time having sex with a woman and it got me nervous as hell. At that point I didnít bring any condoms with me but the csw said that the service included condoms.

Long story short, she gave me an unprotected handjob and i fingered her vagina, then she proceed In applying the condom on my penis. I was so nervous I didnít check the condoms that she have prepared. Then she proceeds in giving me an oral sex, after that we continued having vaginal sex though it didnít last very long cause of my ďthingĒ went soft cause of The nervousness. Then she decided to make me change the condom which I didnít bother to check *again*. We continued for a while after the change but my ďthingĒ went soft again so i decided to end the session. After that i went to the bathroom to masturbate using the hands that i used to finger her. Plus i have a habit of biting my nails off so i might have inserted my fingers to my mouth after that. And i have a rash caused by insect bite and it was quite big so Iím worried  my hands that fingered her touched the rash. Oh and it seemed like i have a yeast infection on my ďthingĒ But i had protected sex.

Itís been a rough week for me dealing with these anxiety attacks. So my questions is:

1. Iím worried If the condoms was tampered, if it was will it show signs of failure like the condom will shred or not?
2. Based on my activities and conditions, am i at risk?
3. Can i get infected if my ďthingĒ got soft inside her vagina?

Appreciate all the help and advice from the community, hope everyoneís in good health and continue living life to the fullest

Offline Arara

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Re: Infection Anxiety
« Reply #1 on: October 17, 2019, 04:09:16 pm »
Oh and the next day i visited a doctor in a famous hospital in my city to ask about my risk and my rashes,  she said that Iím okay and just stressed out and she said that i donít need to do any HIV related test for my encounter with the csw. But till this day  Iím still worried that I mightíve been infected.

Offline Ptrk3

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Re: Infection Anxiety
« Reply #2 on: October 17, 2019, 04:26:46 pm »
Your doctor is correct.  None of the activities you have mentioned in your post put you at risk for HIV-infection.  You had protected sex, or tried to.

Yes, condoms are designed to shred, so you would know whether it failed.

A handjob is not a risk for HIV infection, nor is fingering.

Please access this link to learn how the virus is transmitted:

https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/hiv-transmission-risks

You do not need to test for HIV-antibodies as a result of the activities recounted in your post.

If your anxiety gets the best of you, simply test and move on with your life.

I fully expect that you will test negative.
HIV 101 - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
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HIV TasP
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HIV prevention
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PEP and PrEP

Offline Arara

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Re: Infection Anxiety
« Reply #3 on: October 19, 2019, 08:05:03 am »
Your doctor is correct.  None of the activities you have mentioned in your post put you at risk for HIV-infection.  You had protected sex, or tried to.

Yes, condoms are designed to shred, so you would know whether it failed.

A handjob is not a risk for HIV infection, nor is fingering.

Please access this link to learn how the virus is transmitted:

https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/hiv-transmission-risks

You do not need to test for HIV-antibodies as a result of the activities recounted in your post.

If your anxiety gets the best of you, simply test and move on with your life.

I fully expect that you will test negative.

Thanks for the swift reply Ptrk3, it makes me feel calmer than before posting this question. Although i still feel worried if i'm thinking about the incident and the future, sometimes it's frustrating enough when i'm with my gf, as i never did sex with her and i feel guilty as i care for her so much. My thoughts is always circling around the incident and i'm so afraid if i got infected.

Maybe it's the guilt taking over me, but still i'm trying to get myself together and sometimes i get negative thoughts over "what if's", especially the "didn't check the condom" part and before finding this forum i read a lot from dr.google about the symptoms that occured to me (diarrhea, night sweats directly after the incident (once), and tiredness) that scared me to the point that i can't sleep. Anyway thanks for the support and answer, hope everyone is in good health.

Offline Ptrk3

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Re: Infection Anxiety
« Reply #4 on: October 19, 2019, 09:10:36 am »
You're welcome.
HIV 101 - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read more about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
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PEP and PrEP

Offline Arara

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Re: Infection Anxiety
« Reply #5 on: October 22, 2019, 11:33:41 am »
Hi it's me again, having to deal with these anxiety problems again,

Paid the subs, sorry to ask again.

Still getting anxiety attacks because i'm afraid to do the test, furthermore my dematology and venerologist (the doctor that i mentioned above) said there is no need for testing, even when Ptrk said that i'm going to get negative, but i'm still afraid. this is my very first ever sexual experience of penetration and i'm so afraid.

Even though i used condoms, i'm having a bit of anxiety because the way i remembered when i was doing the act, the room was very dim so i didn't see or checked the condoms, what i remember the condom's not fully covered my penis (about 1/2 till the shaft) but the head is protected as far as i remembered. Is it possible that my uncovered parts are susceptible to infection? no wound or anything as i remembered. Asked another doctor about this particular condom usage and he said i'm at risk!

And another issue, i asked that other doctor about my arm rash caused by the insect bite that i might've touched with the finger that i used for fingering, and he said that i'm at risk again :( so i'm in a state of panic for these past 3 days. here's the rash

https://ibb.co/V9rnKYj



Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Infection Anxiety
« Reply #6 on: October 22, 2019, 11:52:56 am »
Hiya,

In that case you need less paranoid doctors with more current basic very basic HIV understanding. no joke. Sounds like the one I had who thought incorrectly shaking hands was an issue  ::)

The shaft not being fully covered is not an HIV issue, HIV can't transmit through the skin and had the condom come off the head you would have known about it as it does not come off and re-position onto and over your penis during the act of intercourse.

Biting your nails is also no HIV concern, nobody has ever been infected this way you will not be the worlds first as it lacks route to infect you. It would be theoretically a risk if you chopped the end of your finger off with a knife and fingered the person with the bloody stump as example.

The fluids outside the body touching the rash, HIV can't infect once exposed outside the human body, the rash is no route and it lacks basically the conditions required for infection. 

All in all HIV can't transmit through an intact latex or polyurethane condom and if a condom fails during the act of intercourse it's obvious and as long as you did not have a shredded condom at the end of the session there is no logical reason to think there would be an issue or to stress about it.

Finally unless you have had other sexual encounters not mentioned here,i recommend you relax and move on with your life. if you keep having such fears about sex & HIV i would recommend talking to a therapist to help you cope with these thoughts.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid HIV infection:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, every time, no exceptions. Consider starting PrEP going forward as an additional layer of protection against HIV

Keep in mind that some sexual practices which may be described as safe in terms of HIV transmission might still pose a risk for transmission of other easier to transmit STI's, so please do get fully tested regularly and at least yearly for all STI's including but not limited to HIV and test more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs

Also note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and the only way of knowing is by testing.

More information on HIV Basics, PEP, TaSP and Transmission can be found through the links in my signature to our POZ pages

Kind regards

Jim

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« Last Edit: October 22, 2019, 11:56:29 am by Jim Allen »
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Offline Arara

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Re: Infection Anxiety
« Reply #7 on: October 22, 2019, 12:41:50 pm »
well thanks for the swift reply mr JimAllen from Dublin Ireland may God gave you good health and good life,

i must say i'm always anxious about this, because i'm afraid i might've missed something like "did the condoms worked?", "did she sabotaged the condoms?", "why did my doctor told me that i didn't need to test", "what if a? what if b?" always popped out of my head like crazy. I've done a very stupid thing by hiring a CSW, it haunts me everyday. I've started meeting a therapist today for my Hypochondriac situation.

As far as i've read the post from this forum, sometimes i felt tired not knowing why, lost 4kg in this past 3 weeks, twice having night sweats for no apparent reason, developed an oral thrush (i smoke but is it related?), loss of appetite, but then it maybe because of my anxiety and stress taking over is it not?

Then again i have another question,
I'm a heavy smoker (tobacco), my gums obviously are not as good as non-smokers, and i often bit my dried lips till it bleeds, does it have any potential risk if i contacted lets say an infectious body fluids such as menstrual blood or cervical fluid? or the saliva still breaks down the HIV (even when my mouth is dry?) just curiosity.

Still need to gather a lot of courage to take the test as i'm still paranoid about what if the test came up poz :(


Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Infection Anxiety
« Reply #8 on: October 22, 2019, 01:56:30 pm »
Hiya

The smoking and the gums change nothing in this case.

To be honest the smoking is more harmful to you than getting HIV, if you care about your health stop smoking!

Use condoms no exceptions for intercourse
Don't share IV Drug rigs

I'm glad you are meeting a therapist to help you cope with your fears & thoughts.

Best Jim
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
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Transmission and Risks:
HIV Transmission and Risks
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HIV Testing
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HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline Arara

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Re: Infection Anxiety
« Reply #9 on: October 24, 2019, 06:42:12 am »
Hi and thanks for answering my questions jim and ptrk3,

However i was wondering since I donít have a lot of experience in sexual activities, is it normal to change the condom when the one that Iím using slipped halfway due to my flaccid penis? Been through the what ifís scenarios again this time ďwhat if the csw changed the condom because it broke and didnít tell me about it?Ē

Sorry for asking about these nonsensical situations again. :(





Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Infection Anxiety
« Reply #10 on: October 24, 2019, 06:47:24 am »
Hiya,

"What if's"  You mentioned the change of condom in the first post, it's perfectly normal to change the condom between acts or when starting again (Although many don't) and we already took this into account when providing the answer and we have covered off that HIV can't transmit through an intact latex or polyurethane condom and if a condom fails during the act of intercourse it's obvious and as long as you did not have a shredded condom at the end of the session there is no logical reason to think there would be an issue or to stress about it.

You have to apply the information already provided to you, I understand that you are stressing but stop looking for an issue you don't have and instead wait to speak to your therapist.

Best, Jim


HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Transmission and Risks:
HIV Transmission and Risks
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline Arara

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Re: Infection Anxiety
« Reply #11 on: October 24, 2019, 10:32:12 am »
thanks for the reply Jim,

got another question, does different sexual position means different risk as well? (i.e the cowgirl where the female is on top, and missionary where the male is on top?)

sorry to ask again as i read a post stating "when you're the top it lessens infection risk", does it mean as top = insertive parner or as in the position?

thanks before.

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Infection Anxiety
« Reply #12 on: October 24, 2019, 11:00:53 am »
The position makes no difference as the condom was intact!

Quote
i read a post stating "when you're the top it lessens infection risk", does it mean as top = insertive parner or as in the position?

Basically yes, The insertive partner would be at less risk than being the receptive partner as an example during intercourse condomless intercourse.   
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Transmission and Risks:
HIV Transmission and Risks
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline Arara

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Re: Infection Anxiety
« Reply #13 on: October 28, 2019, 02:16:30 pm »
Hi Jim,

So my paid-sub period is almost over. i want to say thank you for the assessment of my risk, it helps. a lot.

So in conclusion based on my activities, even though i've had night sweats, weight loss, fatigue, oral trush, chest and neck rash (only yesterday and in the morning it was nowhere to be found), and sometimes muscle aches around my thighs, this act is considered safe? not HIV related? and does not warrant testing?

I still got some anxiety attacks about this, mainly because i'm afraid what if i got tested and it came out poz, and i'm afraid i might infect my gf because she gave me an unprotected oral sex in the second week post CSW incident.

I read a post about not knowing if the condom broke or not and the condom was provided by the CSW, and  this reply by Ann soothes my anxiety a bit as i didn't clearly see the condom change.

Quote
If a condom breaks, it's really obvious. It would have been hanging off your penis and the sex worker most likely would have commented on it. Sex workers use condoms to protect themselves, not you, the customer.

Anyway thanks a lot Jim, Ptrk and the other Mods who gave up their time to assess our risks and woes, still afraid to test but at some point i will and wish me luck!  :) ;)

« Last Edit: October 28, 2019, 02:32:16 pm by Arara »

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Infection Anxiety
« Reply #14 on: October 28, 2019, 03:08:10 pm »
Quote
So in conclusion based on my activities, even though i've had night sweats, weight loss, fatigue, oral trush, chest and neck rash (only yesterday and in the morning it was nowhere to be found), and sometimes muscle aches around my thighs, this act is considered safe? not HIV related? and does not warrant testing?

To be blunt your left testicle could fall off it would not change the assessment of the activities posted here. Some of what you mentioned would not be HIV related regardless of your HIV status, the rest is not specific and more to the point what you posted was not a concern in regards to acquiring HIV

Quote
i'm afraid i might infect my gf

To be frank she is an adult capable and responsible for her own sexual health. Giving a BJ is near negligible HIV risk, a minute risk she accepts.

Now regarding your risks, if I don't point this out it would be wrong of me, so if you have engaged or do engage in unprotected intercourse with your partner this would meet all the biological conditions needed for acquiring HIV.

Now I don't judge couples that decide to engage in unprotected intercourse, it's often based on trust within a relationship, however, just note this trust or faith does not prevent HIV and any unprotected intercourse is simply accepting a possible risk to you of acquiring HIV. Test regularly, understand your real risks.

Jim
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Transmission and Risks:
HIV Transmission and Risks
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline Arara

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Re: Infection Anxiety
« Reply #15 on: October 29, 2019, 10:49:36 am »
Well thanks jim for the clarification,

To be blunt your left testicle could fall off it would not change the assessment of the activities posted here. Some of what you mentioned would not be HIV related regardless of your HIV status, the rest is not specific and more to the point what you posted was not a concern in regards to acquiring HIV.

In the end i concluded i had safe sex based on my encounter as i didn't have a shredded hula skirt hoop condom in each of the act. Still need to work things up a bit with my therapist for my "what-if" situation.  :-[

Best Regards and thanks for the support and best of luck to everyone  ;)

 


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