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Author Topic: Surrogacy options  (Read 1000 times)

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Offline Longtime

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Surrogacy options
« on: September 20, 2019, 07:11:25 am »
Dear all - I joined the forum recently. Tons of great info and support. I am 38 yr old male and was diagnosed when I was 28. I have been on meds for past 7 yrs and undetectable. I got married to my now wife 6 yrs ago and we have one beautiful daughter who is 3 yrs old. My wife is HIV negative and we went through columbia university in NYC for the IUI treatment - they are one of the few in the country that actually help poz-neg couples get pregnant.

Fast foward now we are looking to have another kid but due to my wifes recent hip surgery and some other medical condition we are thinking of going surrogacy route. Surrogacy laws differ by every state and with my HIV conditio  I guess it adds a bit more complexity.

We live in NJ which is a green state for paid gestational surrogacy but wanted to check others if they have gone through same experience here. Which state has best laws and options for surrogacy with our condition?

We went through a few lawyers but surrogacy + hiv adds a bit more to our case and wanted to check if others can share their experience.

Best regards,


Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Surrogacy options
« Reply #1 on: September 20, 2019, 07:59:32 am »
Hiya

Welcome to the forum,  just popping into the thread to say hi. I don't have any experience with regards to surrogacy but maybe someone else will chime in.

Not sure why the IUI path was taken, neither does it matter but congrats with your daughter. My kids are 9 & 7 years old and they enrich my life endlessly

Wishing you both the best.

Jim

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Offline Longtime

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Re: Surrogacy options
« Reply #2 on: September 20, 2019, 10:07:51 am »
Hi Jim

Thanks for the note.
As for IUI we just wanted to play safe. Even though with undetectable status the transmission risk is close to 0%.. we were surprised when we started talking to my wifes gyne. We spole to different high risk pregnancy specialists and surprisnly there is quite low knowledge or experience when dealing with situation like ours. We went to a very reputed fertility clinic in NJ and they actually never had a pozneg kind of a case and kind of said NO to us.
Eventually we found about the columbia university fertility center who have been doing this for years.
Now surrogacy itself is complicated with state laws and with our condition it is difficult to find surrogates and also lawyers who understand both HIV and surrogacy laws and how they play.
I have been told about CT and CA have best surrogacy laws and every scenario has been listed amd discussed.
Want to get opinions of others who have gone through this experience.
If anyone wants any information regarding fertility centers that specidically cater to pozneg couples. Please PM or write here and would be happy to share further information

Offline harleymc

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Re: Surrogacy options
« Reply #3 on: September 20, 2019, 07:36:04 pm »
I don't understand why you're going for surrogacy. There are no demonstrated cases in the world of transmission of HIV from someone who has had a suppressed vial load for six months.

Someone is exploiting anxiety to extract money from your bank balances. It's shameful exploitation.

Offline Longtime

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Re: Surrogacy options
« Reply #4 on: September 20, 2019, 08:52:57 pm »
Hi harleymc - maybe my post wasnt clear. We have one kid and want another to grow our family. My wife had some medical complications recently and we were advised that she should not concieve in near future. We both are in late 30s. Hence exploring surrogacy option. :)

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Surrogacy options
« Reply #5 on: September 27, 2019, 10:26:08 am »
Hiya Longtime,

Well, I hope things work out and if you do find out anything on surrogacy let us know.

Best, Jim
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
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Read about PEP and PrEP here
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Offline Longtime

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Re: Surrogacy options
« Reply #6 on: September 29, 2019, 09:11:44 am »
Hi Jim

Not much success so far. Though there are some articles on internet about HART and surrogacy with intended parents as HIV, I haven't been able to get any solid information. Contacted a surrogacy lawyer in NJ but after knowing about HIV they asked me to goto another one. They never had any experience with hiv surrogacy. I have written to an agency in LA and will see what they come back with. Will keep you all posted.


Offline Mindless

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Re: Surrogacy options
« Reply #7 on: September 29, 2019, 09:25:29 am »
I don't understand why you're going for surrogacy. There are no demonstrated cases in the world of transmission of HIV from someone who has had a suppressed vial load for six months.

Someone is exploiting anxiety to extract money from your bank balances. It's shameful exploitation.

Just out of my personal ignorance: does this apply also to newborns? I mean, U=U applies also to the babies born from sex in discordant etherosexual couples?

Thanks

 


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