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Author Topic: Managing HIV related stigma in relationships  (Read 652 times)

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Offline CanadianExpat1983

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Managing HIV related stigma in relationships
« on: May 22, 2019, 09:21:18 am »
The good:

1. I started my treatment 2 months post-seroconversion.
2. CD4 ranges from 850-866 in the past 2 years.
3. I am on Genvoya, zero side effects (except initial weight gain) which I lost later on.
4. Feeling healthy.
5. Whole foods diet mostly plant based and taking bunch of supplements, focusing on mitochondrial function & inflammation.
6. Never had lipodystrophy, wasting, OI, autoimmune disease, malignancy (knock on wood).

The bad:

1. Had meth addiction in the past which left me with no interest in sex. I actually had the same addiction long long time ago and after 4 years of abstinence, the sexual desire did not come back. I have no intentions to use drugs again even if I knew without them I will live like a monk for the rest of my life.

2. A bit anxious about rejection if i am involved with someone emotionally.

Questions:

1. I dont think about my condition on a daily basis (i.e. moved on). I do blood test every 3 months which is a bit unnecessary. I am going to move it to every 6-12 months. All my blood pressure, sugar, lipids, kidney, liver functions are normal. No co-infections. Undetectable. Vaccines upto date. 100% adherence to meds.
Is there anything else I need to be mindful about from physical health standpoint?

2. How do I manage a relationship without sexual desire & with HIV? At what stage do I need to disclose? Do relationships without sex ever work? If you were me, would you rather find someone like myself?
Seroconverted and diagnosed in Aug 2017.
On treatment since Oct 2017,U+ since Nov 2017.
On Genvoya CD4 count ranging between 850-966. (Nov 2017-present)
MMR, Tdap, Hep A/B, Gardasil-9, Pneumovax 13, 23, Meningococcal

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Managing HIV related stigma in relationships
« Reply #1 on: May 22, 2019, 09:49:49 am »
Hiya,

Glad to hear things are going well.  :)

1)
Recommend (Last time i checked) is at least a VL test at least every 6 months but check with your doctor when you can move to that.

The normal stuff you could do if you want to live healthier same for everyone but some of it applies more so to us, like reducing alcohol intake, stop smoking, eat a balanced diet, be more active etc etc

2)

Do you want a sexless relationship? Or is it the fear of disclosure/rejection?

In terms of disclose (Leaving any legal requirements out) I tend to disclose up front when dating, get it out of the way and its never been an issue, sure i've had a few polite "No Thank you's" over the years but its rare and, i tend to think better to know before i get invested in someone.  I've had more people say no thanks, because I have kids than my HIV being an issue.

Quote
If you were me, would you rather find someone like myself?

Like yourself? You mean HIV positive right, well up-to you.

My personal dating experience might not match your situation, but ill share it anyway. I've only ever dated one HIV+ women that worked out for a while.  All the other HIV+ women I've met in the dating sense were complete nutters with serious paranoia, trust issues or the worst yet god issues  :(

So its not something that I would personally be in a hurry to try again, so I tend to date HIV negative women, however that's just my own personal experience. I am not saying all PLHIV are like that (I'm not) and, you could give the poz personals a try.

https://personals.poz.com

Best, Jim

https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/hiv-nutrition

Smoking:
https://www.poz.com/article/1-4-smokers-successful-hiv-treatment-projected-die-lung-cancer
Those who adhere well to antiretroviral (ARV) treatment for the virus but smoke are estimated to have a more than 10 times greater chance of dying of lung cancer
compared with dying of AIDS-related complications.

https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/hiv-smoking 
https://www.poz.com/article/attention-hivpositive-smokers-article-save-life

Drinking

https://www.poz.com/article/alcohol-buzz-27115-1109
HIV Is Linked to Getting a Buzz on Less Alcohol
https://www.poz.com/article/safe-alcohol-people-hiv
How Safe Is Alcohol for People With HIV?
https://www.poz.com/article/even-one-two-drinks-day-can-harmful-people-hiv
The safety threshold for alcohol use is lower for HIV-positive people

Mental wellness and HIV
https://www.poz.com/article/interested-much-lately-clinically-depressed
https://www.poz.com/article/state-mind
https://www.poz.com/article/time-spent-depressed-linked-poorer-engagement-hiv-care
Study Depression & HIV - missed clinic visits, VL and a greater risk of death

« Last Edit: May 22, 2019, 09:55:45 am by Jim Allen »
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Transmission and Risks:
HIV Transmission and Risks
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline joemutt

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Re: Managing HIV related stigma in relationships
« Reply #2 on: May 22, 2019, 11:41:36 am »

2)

Do you want a sexless relationship? Or is it the fear of disclosure/rejection?



I think the OP is about a lack of libido and how to initiate / manage relationships with the absence of libido.
« Last Edit: May 22, 2019, 11:46:04 am by joemutt »

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Managing HIV related stigma in relationships
« Reply #3 on: May 22, 2019, 11:46:19 am »
Lack of libido does not mean its not something you want or miss.  True some people might not miss it or want it, but the OP can clarify.
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Transmission and Risks:
HIV Transmission and Risks
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline CanadianExpat1983

  • Member
  • Posts: 29
Re: Managing HIV related stigma in relationships
« Reply #4 on: May 22, 2019, 01:54:54 pm »
I mean I no longer have any sexual desire ( I am not sure if this is ever gonna come back, surely I can have 48 hour non stop sex if I were to do meth but this is never going to be an option) but I do want to share my life with someone. Many people have sexless relationships (open relationships) but their relationship turns out to be this way over time and not initially of course.


I guess I can consult a doctor to see what can be done but I assume it has something to do with dopamine receptor dysfunction due to meth use. My testosterone levels are normal for my age (35).


Rejection is another issue. I am not trying to avoid sex. I just dont feel horny at all.
Seroconverted and diagnosed in Aug 2017.
On treatment since Oct 2017,U+ since Nov 2017.
On Genvoya CD4 count ranging between 850-966. (Nov 2017-present)
MMR, Tdap, Hep A/B, Gardasil-9, Pneumovax 13, 23, Meningococcal

Offline TGun

  • Member
  • Posts: 23
Re: Managing HIV related stigma in relationships
« Reply #5 on: May 24, 2019, 12:14:41 am »
I would reconsider your test levels.  the allowable range for test in adult males is wide, but yo useem to have those symptoms of low t.  consider gong to a testosterone clinic near you and trying t injections for 3 months.  allow them to get your levels up to 1000-1200 range like they will shoot for and see how you feel.  if that isn't it, possibly your dopamine receptors are damaged/dead?  who knows,, but find a specialist for that... best of luck

 


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