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Author Topic: Dating  (Read 318 times)

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Offline ldnguy

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Dating
« on: February 10, 2019, 02:43:56 pm »
Hey ,

So i am a couple years into my diagnosis , i was undetectable within 3 months of diagnosis and mentally i did not let the whole situation bother me at all .... now i am thinking about dating and getting into a relationship , this has started to play on my mind as i literally have no idea how i can ever do this without coming clean to somebody eventually , my only idea is to find another HIV+ person to date ( i am heterosexual just for your information ) , at least that way we would be on the same level mentally from the start.

Any advice where to start even looking for dates and dealing with his would be greatly appreciated.

I have told nobody about my diagnosis and do not ever intend to , the stigma is still there and even more so in the heterosexual world i believe .

I hope my post reads to you as i intended it too .

Thanks all :)

Offline JimDublin

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Re: Dating
« Reply #1 on: February 10, 2019, 03:39:02 pm »
Hiya

Well dating is a topic that comes up often enough.
Recently as example: https://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=71613.msg

Any advice where to start even looking for dates and dealing with his would be greatly appreciated.

Bars, pubs, the office, through friends, shops etc

So the normal day to day places where one would meet/be in contact with women normally works pretty well for me. 

Although I did have a time I would pretend to be buying stuff in mother-care for the kids so I could pick up the single mothers ... I'm not proud of it although not ashamed either.   

I have told nobody about my diagnosis and do not ever intend to , the stigma is still there and even more so in the heterosexual world i believe

Stigma always will be there for plenty of things. Personally on the HIV front i've always told about it early on so that way its not an issue down the line should a relationship become more serious, and i can literally count on one hand the "No thank you's" as a result, it's that rare.

I think most of the women I've dated simply appreciated the honesty and had no issues or questions, a few had questions before we moved on from there.  Depends on the delivery and timing of the information I suppose.

Quote
my only idea is to find another HIV+ person to date

Ill be honest I've only ever dated one HIV+ women that worked out for a while.
All the others I met in the dating sense were complete nutters with serious paranoia, trust issues or the worst yet god issues  :(

So its not something I am personally in a hurry to try again, however that's just my personal experience with HIV+ Women. I am not saying its all like that and you could give the poz personals a try. https://personals.poz.com

Take it easy and good luck

Jim
« Last Edit: February 10, 2019, 03:56:11 pm by JimDublin »
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Offline ldnguy

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Re: Dating
« Reply #2 on: February 11, 2019, 03:28:08 am »
Hi Jim , thanks for the reply buddy .

I probably worded my post wrong, i have no problem with meeting girls or any confidence issues dating ,HOWEVER  my problem is getting serious with anyone and having that conversation , i do not think i ever want to do that or ever could do that ( hence my theory about dating other HIV+ women )

haha thanks for sharing your experience on HIV dating ! that is kinda worrying lol

Offline JimDublin

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Re: Dating
« Reply #3 on: February 15, 2019, 11:40:25 pm »
haha thanks for sharing your experience on HIV dating ! that is kinda worrying lol

Well you can always give it a try and, see how you get on.
Nothing to loose so, good luck.

Jim
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Transmission and Risks:
HIV Transmission and Risks
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

 


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