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Author Topic: old time jokes  (Read 1097 times)

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Offline em

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  • Posts: 438
old time jokes
« on: February 05, 2019, 01:11:37 am »
One of my older relatives  one time had said their  grand  father had a hardware store and he used to hang a sign on the door gone whaling be back in three years

If you tell the story you might have to mention your great great grand father had a hardware store in the eighteen hundreds

so I can explain to others not aware of history.  store signs to hang on the front door . out to lunch be back in an hour gone fishing be back tomorrow. eighteen hundreds whalers used to go whaling for three year journeys.

 I am so old I was there when they invented water.   ya that is how old I am. and you should have heard the crowds cheer. cause they were thirsty ?

put long pauses between to bewilder a young audience trying to comprehend the concept. water was invented ?

 both the above I believe to be vaudeville joke

made me think of the song  and the band played on , not so much the movie but the song from 1895 they have versions of it on Youtube haunting melody that reminds me of so many people dancing the nights away many many years ago. it was a hit song of its time.

« Last Edit: February 05, 2019, 01:46:16 am by em »

Offline em

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  • Posts: 438
Re: old time jokes
« Reply #1 on: February 09, 2019, 05:09:06 am »
This joke is not very old but maybe to some but I thought it funny

this guy has been chasing this girl for a while to the verge of stalking 

she says I am so aggravated with you why don't you just go away.

then filled with aggravation she says I would not date you if you were the last man on earth

so he smiles from ear to ear

she says why are you smiling?

then he says,  so what you are saying is I have a chance ?


Offline em

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  • Posts: 438
Re: old time jokes
« Reply #2 on: February 09, 2019, 10:48:30 pm »
I found this funny when describing some of the women in my life I came up with this in the nineteen eighties. so I did not take the idea from rent 

She is twice the man I never wanted to be . this is to say someone is butch ?

   when I first felt like I had  started to feel old and tired I had said I feel like half the man I used to be ?

I was asked on many occasions about HIV and if I were MSM bi  or what I usually look and think as flattered  as i am. very personal question  are you curious or are you hitting on me ?  .

I had given it much thought and came up with please define MAN and WOMAN ?

not so much to dodge the question even though it was good dodge if that  is what you want to call it

 but I know some men that are more women and better at it then some women.

I know so many women that are so more manly then most men.

that is life .

Offline em

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  • Posts: 438
Re: old time jokes
« Reply #3 on: May 13, 2019, 08:07:39 pm »
sorry for reviving a zombie thread

this very  old joke came to mind. I thought worth sharing 

these two old friends run into each other.

 and the first guy  asks :   what have you been up to ?

 The second guy  says :    I work at a Burlesque theater .

the first guy says :       wow that sounds great what is the pay like ?

the second guy says :       fifty dollars a week (  adjusted for  inflation )

the first guy says    :         that is not very much ?

the second guy says  :        that is all I can afford .


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