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Author Topic: Need advice scared silly  (Read 656 times)

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Offline Superscared41

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Need advice scared silly
« on: January 01, 2019, 12:19:54 pm »
Ok firstly, thank you in advance for reading through my question and sorry for the length / graphic detail.

I am looking for a sound risk assessment and advice on a situation I have gotten myself into.

Iím a married hetro man with a family - I stupidly went to see a CSW (status unknown)  on Sunday (30th) and the followin events occurred:

Some light kissing on lips (closed mouth) - I know this is zero risk - I fingered her for a while quite vigorously  - again I know this is low risk however after this the CSW showed me how she could squirt - part of the reason I saw her for the curiosity factor. During this event a st beside her and at the time of her ejaculation (squirt) I felt some of the fluid hit my cheek a drop at most I believe however, I am concerned that some could also have got into my eye I donít remember rubbing it after but I just canít tell, for the purposes of this assessment we should assume it did. I didnít have any irritation immediately  after but the next day the eye started to get a little bloodshot and continues to be today - not really painful just a light soreness.

This has freaked me out as I have heard that transmission of HIV through infected fluids coming into contact with the eye is a thing and that people have become HIV+ this way.

After this I fingered her again and then she suggested oral sex, she used a condom for this however, I noted that she touched the condom with the same hand that she had masturbated with. Again In retrospect I am concerned about possible transfer of fluids from hand to the inside of the condom and then onto my penis head as she put the condom on me. After the oral was finished she used wipes and tissues to remove the condom.

I get that I might sound a litt irrational but this situation really has me worried.

I guess I am looking for an informed opinion on each of the events that took place as to the level of risk that I could contract HIV from them specifically the fluid and eye contact.

Thank you in advance.

Scared :(

Online Jim Allen

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Re: Need advice scared silly
« Reply #1 on: January 01, 2019, 12:26:53 pm »
I read your post 3 times.

Nothing you mentioned about this encounter was a HIV risk whatsoever! It met none of the conditions required for aquiring HIV.

Relax, move on with your life.

Jim
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Online Jim Allen

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Re: Need advice scared silly
« Reply #2 on: January 01, 2019, 01:48:32 pm »
Ill add a few more lines to your assessment, as I can see you wasting your time reading some very old posts from the past, some things are best left in the past.

So the kissing was no risk, whatsoever. Neither was the fingering as HIV needs a direct route to bloodstream or cells to infect and unless you chopped the end of your finger off beforehand it simply lacked a route and is not even a theoretical risk, its simply none!

Ill also add that there has simply never been a documented case of HIV transmission via fingering since this pandemic started nearly 40 years ago, and you will not be the worlds first. There is plenty of irrational fear about this sexual activity and very context poor information (scaremongering) out there.

Moving onto your main concern;

Quote
I felt some of the fluid hit my cheek a drop at most I believe however, I am concerned that some could also have got into my eye

Its a "what if" about a drop of sexual fluid ...

Please understand that sexually HIV is only transmitted inside the human-body, in quantity and never being exposed outside the confides of the human body.
HIV transmission is always a biological event and four conditions need to all be present simultaneously for HIV transmission to occur even in theory; The virus must be present in an infectious body fluid from the HIV positive person, it must be present at sufficient levels to cause infection. There must be an effective route of transmission, and it must reach susceptible cells in another person.

So the lets start with was "HIV infectious body fluid" even present?

Squirting is not a HIV infectious fluid to start so you have no HIV risk from that at all. You could have gotten buckets worth of it in your eye ball and it would still not be a risk. I say buckets as although female ejaculate is technically the small
amount of milky white fluid thatís expressed when climaxing (also no HIV concern),  Squirting, despite myths, women magazines and porn it is simply the results of a large "flush" of clear fluid, which comes from the urethra. In plain English its just piss and no amount of piss is a HIV concern.

The other fluid a woman produces as example when sexually excited comes from the Bartholin's glands, this is a lubricating fluid and does not have any more hiv present than other bodily secretions such as saliva, sweat or tears. Saliva, sweat and tears are not infectious fluids.  You could have been drenched in this as well and not have a HIV concern.

So no exposure to HIV infectious fluids to start with, and you risk ends there really .....

But let me be clear on this, even if it had been a man instead of a women and, he had ejaculated and you got a drop flying across the room into your eyeball , well I would have still told you to move on with your life!

Its also outside the confines of the human-body and HIV is fragile, difficult to transmit so much so that well nobody has been infected by it outside the human body through either sexual or day to day contact. One of the reasons why is   HIV has an outer protein/receptors that are needed to remain infectious, they corrode in contact with environment and air outside the body, so it can no longer infect.

Finally a drop maybe in your eyeball well not that it matters as whatever it was it could no longer infect you, but a drop is not the quantity needed either. So all in all, whatever way you twist it, your concern lacked a number of the biological conditions needed for acquiring HIV, there never has been a case, you will not be making Sunday headlines anytime soon!

There have been only 1 or 2 plausible, not confirmed cases, not day to day or sexual setting incidents that involved large substantial quantities of blood, not sexual fluids & HIV through the eye, its so super rare and the very unique conditions simply are not met and will never ever be met in a sexual or on a day to day basis!  So none of that applies to you. Getting a drop of some fluid regardless of what fluid in the eyeball, is not a HIV risk.

So for a number of reasons you did not acquire HIV from this incident! Stop looking for a concern you don't have.

Quote
Iím a married hetro man with a family - I stupidly went to see a CSW

Guilt perhaps? Anyhow look if you are or are planning to be engaging in unprotected intercourse with your partner as example this does meet all the biological conditions needed for acquiring HIV.

Now I don't judge couples that decide to engage in unprotected intercourse, its often based on trust within a relationship, however just note this trust or faith does not prevent HIV and any unprotected intercourse is simply accepting a possible risk to you of acquiring HIV and increased risk of STI's generally.

So if you choose to engage in unprotected intercourse simply understand its accepting a greater risk and test regularly.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid HIV infection:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, every time, no exceptions. Consider starting PrEP going forward as an additional layer of protection against HIV

Keep in mind that some sexual practices which may be described as safe in terms of HIV transmission might still pose a risk for transmission of other easier to transmit STI's, so please do get fully tested regularly and at least yearly for all STI's including but not limited to HIV and test more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs

Also note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and the only way of knowing is by testing.

More information on HIV Basics, PEP, TaSP and Transmission can be found through the links in my signature to our POZ pages, this includes information on HIV Testing

Kind regards

Jim

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« Last Edit: January 01, 2019, 02:01:56 pm by JimDublin »
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Offline Superscared41

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Re: Need advice scared silly
« Reply #3 on: January 01, 2019, 03:51:14 pm »
Hi Jim,

Thanks for the reply, I appreciate the extra detail - itís almost like you were watching me as I had begun to search the historic posts for more detail.

You are correct about guilt, I feel terrible but I know guilt doesnít equate to infection as you suggest.

I will try to move on from this as suggested but have a feeling that this is something easier said than done. I certainly donít want to be the worlds first for infection in this manner and I take your point about no confirmed cases of my scenario and only a couple of plausible - but unconfirmed cases of infection through blood splash and ocular contact.




Online Jim Allen

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Re: Need advice scared silly
« Reply #4 on: January 01, 2019, 04:19:21 pm »
You're welcome

Yeah, I was watching hence I had a fair idea what it was you needed to hear. Look unless she was bleeding to death in your face, than you had no HIV risk, not even in theory, simply none. Sorry to be graphic but best to be blunt on this one.

Your senario was a drop maybe of fluid at most that also simply lacked all the bilogical conditions needed for aquiring HIV

Quote
You are correct about guilt, I feel terrible but I know guilt doesnít equate to infection as you suggest
.

Correct. This is guilt speaking and no amount of guilt equals HIV.

Try to relax, stop dreaming up new ways for HIV to transmit against all scientific evidence simply move on with your life.  ;)

Jim
« Last Edit: January 01, 2019, 04:26:46 pm by JimDublin »
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Transmission and Risks:
HIV Transmission and Risks
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

 


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