Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
March 18, 2019, 02:18:42 pm

Login with username, password and session length


Members
Stats
  • Total Posts: 742039
  • Total Topics: 61795
  • Online Today: 400
  • Online Ever: 1421
  • (August 13, 2016, 05:18:44 am)
Users Online
Users: 5
Guests: 89
Total: 94

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: Feeling Low  (Read 464 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Hope4life

  • Member
  • Posts: 21
Feeling Low
« on: January 01, 2019, 01:54:11 am »
Today is first day of the new year. I wish that will bring happiness in our lives. However I am feeling quite sad today, well I suppose being on the road of HIV is like going through a valley of emotions, where one day you feel quite positive and next day we feel negative like hell.
Yesterday I was going through one serial made to highlight social problems, and it reminds me to google for any episode where Oprah Winfrey have ever interviewed or covered HIV condition/patients. and while going through it i found hydeia broadbent.
I read about her messages on net and one line got my attention, it was," HIV is not a death sentence but it is life sentece" and really it made me filled with emotions. grief, sadness and ..... Than i went to the Govt. Pharmacy to refill my medicines. The girl sitting on the reception gave me a very bad looks after knowing my status and gave my card to be in a very unpleasent manner. i didn't say anything cos there was no need to confront such morons however that had an impact on my mind.
Than i saw a file having my name written in bold letters on its cover with ART written in brackets. It made me feel that what if i just open my eyes and I relises that this is just a bad dream. 
Then the councellor itself seems quite distant from the patients. i was wondering that If a person like me (welll educated) has to go through such stigma what sought of stigma the uneducated and poor class has to go through.

Than all these emotions made me really sad that I chose to come over here and share my emotions with you all. Sorry if I wrote something wrong or in a inappropriate english. I am quite overwhelmed with sadness right now. I am very positive guy. but sometime I feel weak. Its like I am living a secret life which one day will come out and than I will be treated as treacherous person.
Sorry for such a sad message on first day of a year.

Online JimDublin

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 11,117
  • Twitter @JimAllenDublin
    • HIV Lessons
Re: Feeling Low
« Reply #1 on: January 01, 2019, 04:28:58 am »
Hiya

No need to apologize feel free to vent here when you need to do so, life with or without HIV is not all about sunshine, rainbows and unicorns.

I am truly sorry to hear that you are feeling low at the moment. It sounds to me like you are having a really rough time dealing with some of the emotional aspects of this and I wish you well.

Quote
Then the councellor itself seems quite distant from the patients.

Hmmm, that could be a problem without really noticing it, perhaps time to change counsellor, if this one is not really the right fit?

Are you seeing any peer support groups or taking to other people in your area living with HIV besides the counsellor?

Quote
it was," HIV is not a death sentence but it is life sentece" and really it made me filled with emotions. grief, sadness

Life sentence ... Now there is a depressed thought if I ever heard one.
Not sure hydeia broadbent means it this way but it does somewhat sounds like someone feels that its sort of punishment or that condition has somehow taken something away from them or holding them back somehow.

Do you feel like this? 

I wonder if some people with "Cold Sores" or "Diabetes" ever feel this way,  Personally I don't see HIV like this, its just one of many manageable medical conditions in life, it does not change who we are or our lives if we don't let it and many people have various manageable conditions and take pills. 

Quote
The girl sitting on the reception gave me a very bad looks after knowing my status and gave my card to be in a very unpleasent manner. i didn't say anything cos there was no need to confront such morons however that had an impact on my mind.
Than i saw a file having my name written in bold letters on its cover with ART written in brackets. It made me feel that what if i just open my eyes and I relises that this is just a bad dream. 

That sucks plain and simple, and perceived stigma or otherwise can be highly distressing. Now I was not in the room, I did not witness this and, you are not me  so please don't take my thoughts as somehow dismissing you on this event. I take what you are saying about this as 100% true and accurate.

Personally I do however confront people, its called educating them but asides from that in this situation I would expect regardless of the condition that people should not be getting bad looks or stares from staff when collecting medication, a professional attitude is expected and I would be talking to her boss.

That said, I would have to be open to the possibility that the look was by chance or bad timing and perhaps incorrectly its being linked to her knowing about the HIV status when it may not related to it that at all.

As for the (ART) on the top of the file there could simply be an innocent reason. Can't hurt to clear the air and ask the next time you are in, why ART is prominently noted behind your name

Take it easy,

Jim


HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Transmission and Risks:
HIV Transmission and Risks
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline Hope4life

  • Member
  • Posts: 21
Re: Feeling Low
« Reply #2 on: January 02, 2019, 01:47:21 am »
Hiya

No need to apologize feel free to vent here when you need to do so, life with or without HIV is not all about sunshine, rainbows and unicorns.
Thanks a lot @Jim

I am truly sorry to hear that you are feeling low at the moment. It sounds to me like you are having a really rough time dealing with some of the emotional aspects of this and I wish you well.

Hmmm, that could be a problem without really noticing it, perhaps time to change counsellor, if this one is not really the right fit?
I can not do that there is just one counsellor in my city. Moreover I suppose that is common mindset here.

Are you seeing any peer support groups or taking to other people in your area living with HIV besides the counsellor?
that is the worst thing I suppose that is why I feel lonely sometime. I just have three friends (POZ). Two of them I made while waiting in hospital. and one is quite senior and experienced lady from a NGO with whom I sometime communicate whenever I need some information. and she actually ask me to talk to some new patients too as she think that I am, very positive and taking my diagnoses in a very positive way. Though I take this very seriously however sometime my legs tremble cos of scenario or thinking about my future.
or today cos of the statement I have read about life sentence.

Life sentence ... Now there is a depressed thought if I ever heard one.
Not sure hydeia broadbent means it this way but it does somewhat sounds like someone feels that its sort of punishment or that condition has somehow taken something away from them or holding them back somehow.
NO I do not feel that. Thanks to all of you and specially you that I feel very positive about my coming life. But she refereed it as life sentence cos she though that hiv is for life, we be taking pills forever, going to the doctor and fighting for insurance forever.
https://abcnews.go.com/Health/born-hiv-longer-death-sentence-life-sentence/story?id=18658471
I found this bizarre. a person like her should not say such things that statement will have impact on the newly diagnosed one. moreover I agree with you about diabetes and cold sores patients.   


Personally I do however confront people, its called educating them but asides from that in this situation I would expect regardless of the condition that people should not be getting bad looks or stares from staff when collecting medication, a professional attitude is expected and I would be talking to her boss.
i wish i will be in position one day to educate these unprofessional people.

As for the (ART) on the top of the file there could simply be an innocent reason. Can't hurt to clear the air and ask the next time you are in, why ART is prominently noted behind your name
Issue was not that the ART was written behind my name, Issue was the problem to digest the fact that I am on ART or I am HIV positive now.
I suppose that thiniking came just cos of one statement I read on the other day.

Thanks a lot JIM. I really appriciate your help. 




Online JimDublin

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 11,117
  • Twitter @JimAllenDublin
    • HIV Lessons
Re: Feeling Low
« Reply #3 on: January 03, 2019, 05:19:17 am »
You're welcome.

Quote
NO I do not feel that. Thanks to all of you and specially you that I feel very positive about my coming life. But she refereed it as life sentence cos she though that hiv is for life, we be taking pills forever, going to the doctor and fighting for insurance forever. I found this bizarre. a person like her should not say such things that statement will have impact on the newly diagnosed one. moreover I agree with you about diabetes and cold sores patients.

Quote
" HIV is not a death sentence but it is life sentece" and really it made me filled with emotions. grief, sadness

Well glad to hear you don't feel that way, but I am a little concerned about how low you are feeling and that other peoples comments or their individual perceptive on life with HIV is having such an impact on you.

End of the day she has her perspective and thoughts, and she has the right to express them. Now I'm sure her past experiences guide her thoughts like it does for all of us. She was born with HIV in the 1980's and watched as an 11 years old her friends die ... This is hard on most adults, let alone a child. Here is a clip of the 1996 Oprah interview, she was aged 11 at the time: https://youtu.be/B8NuUtSXlr0

My point is she might see it as a "Life Sentence" now although having empathy for her story, this comment would not be making me feel overwhelmed with grief/sadness.  I mean yes, we will most likely be taking meds for life, i get the technically of the point however in this day and age I see them as an "Opportunity to live"/"Access to life" not as a "Life Sentence".

Billions of other people globally for a vast array of illnesses take meds daily and have insurance challenges, so its nothing new and from a high-level point of view in nations with treatment we as a group are not exactly unique in this context.

Quote
I can not do that there is just one counsellor in my city. 

That sucks

Quote
that is the worst thing I suppose that is why I feel lonely sometime. I just have three friends (POZ). Two of them I made while waiting in hospital. and one is quite senior and experienced lady from a NGO with whom I sometime communicate whenever I need some information. and she actually ask me to talk to some new patients too as she think that I am, very positive and taking my diagnoses in a very positive way. Though I take this very seriously however sometime my legs tremble cos of scenario or thinking about my future.
or today cos of the statement I have read about life sentence.


Cool, I mean talking to newbiews is a really nice and supportive thing to do, and gets you into contact with people as well however maybe its too soon, to be doing this in a clinical setting or a support focused meeting.

I say this not to undermine your efforts, I think its great but I say it as concern for your well-being as perhaps you are still in a way digesting your own diagnosis and, talking to new people in a peer support role who have their own concerns/worries and issue can take its emotional toll on people.

Do remember to look after yourself first and not to overdo things like this or do stuff your not ready for yet.

Quote
that is the worst thing I suppose that is why I feel lonely sometime. I just have three friends (POZ). Two of them I made while waiting in hospital. and one is quite senior and experienced lady from a NGO with whom I sometime communicate whenever I need some information. and she actually ask me to talk to some new patients too as she think that I am, very positive and taking my diagnoses in a very positive way. Though I take this very seriously however sometime my legs tremble cos of scenario or thinking about my future.
or today cos of the statement I have read about life sentence.

Okay so it sounds like there is no social support group yet in your area?

So be the first, start one. It does not have to be complex support or therapy focused at all.  Just start as a social group, so meet and greets, coffee mornings, walks, dinners, cinema etc etc etc maybe use a platform like https://www.meetup.com/ to start your own group and your friend who is working at the NGO can let other newbies and people living with HIV know about this social group.

Anyhow its just a spare thought and wishing you all the best.

Jim
« Last Edit: January 03, 2019, 07:03:13 am by JimDublin »
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Transmission and Risks:
HIV Transmission and Risks
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2019 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.