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Author Topic: Worried Couple  (Read 981 times)

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Offline Worriedcouple072016

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Worried Couple
« on: December 17, 2018, 11:10:01 am »
Thanks to everyone here for providing the support that all of us that come here need during moments like this. My situation is the following; for the last year my wife and I have been wanting to jump into the swingers scene. We have observed for a long time of what not to do and what to do responsibly. Recently, one week ago we decided to have our first MFM threesome with a stranger we met online. My wife and the stranger always used protection both for oral and vaginal intercourse. No anal was allowed. My wife and I had unprotected vaginal intercourse during this moment and several times during the following 7 days. My concern is that during the first week my wife and I almost within 48 hours started to have IBS issues, night sweats, dizziness, loss of appetite, and swollen glands in our necks. My wife's night sweats lasted 3 days and mine was only one day. Anyways my concern is, that during the moment she was having vaginal intercourse with the stranger she started to bleed. She went to the bathroom washed off and she continued to have sex with the stranger. Like I said previously always protected and I did not see the condom tear at any moment. We do not know the status of the stranger but if he was during the seroconversion period and his viral load high would this be consider a risk since my wife was bleeding for a short period of time during vaginal intercourse? I was doing research regarding probabilities of acquiring HIV during protected sex with someone during seroconversion but it only says that it doubles while having unprotected sex nothing on protected. We are concern because of our symptoms and believe our risk was very low.

Offline JimDublin

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Re: Worried Couple
« Reply #1 on: December 17, 2018, 11:23:00 am »
Hiya

Nothing you mentioned about the encounter was a HIV concern, nothing! Some vaginal bleeding or a bad case of IBS after the sex does not change that.

Quote
I had unprotected vaginal intercourse during this moment and several times 
I'm going to tell you the same thing i tell all people with a partner, as hard as it is to accept unprotected intercourse with your wife, well its a risk to you. This as it meets all the biological conditions needed for acquiring HIV.  Now I don't judge couples that decide to engage in unprotected intercourse, its often based on trust within a relationship, however just note this trust or faith does not prevent HIV and any unprotected intercourse is simply accepting a possible risk to you of acquiring HIV.

So I am not going to tell you its okay to have sex with your wife, that is up to you just be aware if it unprotected its accepting a risk no matter what past test results she may have.  Sad fact of life.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, every time, no exceptions.


Consider starting PrEP as additional layer of protection against HIV in the future


Keep in mind that some sexual practices which may be described as ‘safe’ in terms of HIV transmission might still pose a risk for transmission of other STI's, so please do get fully tested regularly and at least yearly for all STI's including but not limited to HIV and test more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs

Also note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and the only way of knowing is by testing.

More information on HIV Basics, PEP, TaSP and Transmission can be found through the links in my signature to our POZ pages, this includes information on HIV Testing

Kind regards

Jim

Please Note.
As a member of the AM I Infected Forum you are required to only post in this one thread no matter how long between visits or the subject matter. You can find this thread by going to your profile and selecting show own post and it will take you here . It helps us to help you when you keep all your thoughts or questions in one thread and it helps other readers to follow the discussion. Any additional threads will be deleted.
« Last Edit: December 27, 2018, 06:37:07 am by JimDublin »
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Transmission and Risks:
HIV Transmission and Risks
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline Worriedcouple072016

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Re: Worried Couple
« Reply #2 on: January 11, 2019, 09:27:31 am »
Almost 5 weeks after potential exposure.

I know Jim stated that my exposure was a zero risk situation but the symptoms my wife and I are experiencing do not feel like zero risk.

I know symptoms mean nothing to this forum but here is what my wife and I have felt ever since our potential exposure, we hope for the best but are now getting prepared for potential life changing news. My main concern now is my toddler which has been experiencing some symptoms similar to ours.

Within 4 hours after our exposure, my wife and I started to experience sniffles, migraine headaches, nauseousness, and these cold spells.
Within a week we felt cold spells, night sweats, nausea, swollen neck glands, pain in our abdomen, throwing up, dizziness, hot flashes, pain in our chest which radiated to our backs, arms, shoulders, forearms, and migraines.

Between 7-14 days after, pain in my groin, my knees felt like I had arthritis of an 80 years old man, some bumps on the side of my head which hurt, dizziness, radiating pain from my chest to my neck, testicles pain, itchiness both, my wife felt the same pains except for testicle pain obviously with some degree of variation but our immune systems basically reacted very similar with signaling these pains. Low grade fevers of 98 and 99. And lots of body aches for both which moved from our ankles, to forearms, shoulders, chest, back, knees, etc. At 5 weeks we are feeling many of the same symptoms we felt at 7-14 days and wife who is an energizer bunny is complaining about feeling fatigue all the time. My chest is hurting more and more with pain that radiates to my arms.

At this point my concern with my toddler was that I found him a week after my potential exposure brushing his teeth with my toothbrush so this freaked me out and during our 7-14 days after exposure our baby was having diarrhea, fevers, and was very sick.  and all three of us have continued to be sick with different variation of the same symptoms. We took our toddler to the emergency room because he had a fever of 103 recently and they did RSV test and flu test and everything came back negative and they could not find an infection. They stated it was some kind of virus but that it was not respiratory, or gastro and that it was some other kind but to keep monitoring his fever every night since (3 nights) my child has had fevers.  My  concern is would my child be able to contract the hiv virus from me if he use my toothbrush within the period I am seroconverting. (by the way I do bleed from my gums).

Well, these are our concerns 5 weeks after potential exposure. Waiting for the 6 weeks to test with ORAquick test. Would like to know how accurate is oraquick at 5 weeks of exposure compare to 6 weeks. The test actually says to test after 3 months.

I think jim will probably say my wife and I had no risk based on my previous explanation but if the person had a viral load super high and seroconverting this will have been somewhat of a risk to my wife and therefore a risk to me since we did not use protection.

I fear that my next post might be in the other forum. This will be a devastating news but my main concern is my child right now.



Offline JimDublin

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Re: Worried Couple
« Reply #3 on: January 11, 2019, 10:13:44 am »
Quote
Within 4 hours after our exposure, my wife and I started to experience sniffles, migraine headaches, nauseousness, and these cold spells.

4 hours, perfect 100% nothing to do with HIV from this encounter, please understand it takes HIV more than 3 days to even invade the first cell and a week to be copied

Also regardless of the VL of the other person it's not how HIV is transmitted to start with. Your only HIV risk was the unprotected intercourse with your wife. If you aquire HIV this was the route my friend.

Jim
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Transmission and Risks:
HIV Transmission and Risks
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline JimDublin

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Re: Worried Couple
« Reply #4 on: January 11, 2019, 10:15:56 am »
Quote
At this point my concern with my toddler was that I found him a week after my potential exposure brushing his teeth with my toothbrush so this freaked me out and during our 7-14 days after exposure our baby was having diarrhea, fevers, and was very sick.  and all three of us have continued to be sick with different variation of the same symptoms. We took our toddler to the emergency room because he had a fever of 103 recently and they did RSV test and flu test and everything came back negative and they could not find an infection. They stated it was some kind of virus but that it was not respiratory, or gastro and that it was some other kind but to keep monitoring his fever every night since (3 nights) my child has had fevers.  My  concern is would my child be able to contract the hiv virus from me if he use my toothbrush within the period I am seroconverting. (by the way I do bleed from my gums).

As a parent I'm sorry to hear that your toddler is sick and hope you all feel better soon. My kids are 7 & 9 now but I know how scary it can be when they are young and sick.

However this HIV nonesense is paranoid thinking, you can't give your kids HIV with a toothbrush, it's thinking that belongs to the 1980's and tabloids magazine scaremongering

Neither of you aquired HIV from the encounter, it did not make you sick within 4 hours and you did not pass it on to your kids with a toothbrush.

If you ever aquire HIV it was from another incident.

Jim
« Last Edit: January 11, 2019, 10:21:32 am by JimDublin »
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Transmission and Risks:
HIV Transmission and Risks
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline Worriedcouple072016

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Re: Worried Couple
« Reply #5 on: January 18, 2019, 10:21:55 pm »
Today at this very moment i am waiting for my test results from my oraquick test. I am extremely nervous and so is the wifey. I know Jim has said numerous times that my only risk would be having intercourse with my wife but we have not been with anyone else in the last three years, with protection or without, prior to our MFM experience we had recently which we used protection between the stranger and my wife. So if that was no risk and everything turns negative is it safe to assume that at 5 weeks and 6 days this test is conclusive? Now all we have to do is figure out what is making us feel so sick since we have been in pain for the last 5 weeks and 6 days.

My oraquick test result is -- Negative after 25 mins.

I want to thank Jim and everyone here that help us be more informed.

Offline JimDublin

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Re: Worried Couple
« Reply #6 on: January 19, 2019, 02:23:09 am »
Hiya

I am really sorry to hear the fear remains and also that what I am guessing was planned to be a fun/exciting and new experience for you both turned into stress and anxiety. There was however really was no need for any of this stress, least of all regarding HIV.

I will take a wild guess and say that as its a new experience, it is partly fueling your fears. Its not totally uncommon that some people do feel anxious after stepping out of their comfort zone, like indeed trying a new sexual activity.

Few tips:
Stop looking online for answers - It will only fuel your concerns not ease them!
If this HIV fear/thought jumps to mind - Remind yourself "I had no risk" "I am fine"
If the thought continues - Take a deep breath, and tell yourself "Stop"

Quote
So if that was no risk and everything turns negative is it safe to assume that at 5 weeks and 6 days this test is conclusive?
Quote
My oraquick test result is -- Negative after 25 mins.

Look if you ever have a real exposure than the time to test for a conclusive result is  3 months post exposure, however if what you posted is correct than you and your wife simply had no exposure from this MFM encounter, other than from yourselves.

So this panicked testing was not required or warranted and, the result from this encounter is simply not going to change if you do retest. Please try to relax and move past this, and just remember the below for going forward.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, every time, no exceptions. Consider starting PrEP as an additional layer of HIV protection going forward

Keep in mind that some sexual practices which may be described as safe in terms of HIV transmission might still pose a risk for acquiring far easier to transmit STI's, so please do get fully tested regularly and at least yearly for all STI's including but not limited to HIV and test more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs

Also note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and the only way of knowing is by testing.

More information on HIV Basics, PEP, TaSP and Transmission can be found through the links in my signature to our POZ pages, this includes information on HIV Testing

Kind regards

Jim

Please Note.
As a member of the AM I Infected Forum you are required to only post in this one thread no matter how long between visits or the subject matter. You can find this thread by going to your profile and selecting show own post and it will take you here . It helps us to help you when you keep all your thoughts or questions in one thread and it helps other readers to follow the discussion. Any additional threads will be deleted.
« Last Edit: January 19, 2019, 02:34:38 am by JimDublin »
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Transmission and Risks:
HIV Transmission and Risks
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

 


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