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Author Topic: Is this a zero-risk encounter? Honestly  (Read 1304 times)

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Offline Hopefulguy

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Is this a zero-risk encounter? Honestly
« on: November 27, 2018, 05:21:53 pm »
Greetings,

I am hoping to get some clarity on a recent encounter of mine... Iíll try to make this as brief as possible.

19 days ago, I met up with 2 guys to have a threesome. From the encounter I am worried about the following:

1) I received oral sex from one of the guys who kept switching between me and the other guy, which worries me because there may have been the presence of precum in his mouth which was then transferred to the head of my penis. I understand that people are often told on here that oral sex simply isnít a risk, however I saw here on poz an article which outlined the degree of risk, stating that oral sex has a 1 in 2500 chance of transmitting HIV. (I donít know whether this is for the insertive or receptive partner)

2) Secondly there was quite a lot of anal fingering (me being the fingerer) which subsequently meant I would have had anal secretions on my fingers to some degree (mixed with lubricant of course). However I kept touching penis throughout the entirety of the fingering, which inevitably meant any potential virus would have swiftly been put upon my penis. To be honest, this isnít my largest concern, but it has crossed my mind,

3) Lastly, I eventually proceeded to have anal intercourses with one of the men, by which I applied the condom myself, this was shortly after the fingering and I hadnít cleared my hands of any remaining mucus. This worries me because I always poke either side of a condom to make sure I am about to put it on properly, which inevitably meant I may have transferred any potential virus to the inside of the condom, which wouldíve been followed by the virus reentering a hospitable environment (the rectum) within my condom. And with all the thrusting surely this meant that any potential virus would have been pressed against my urethra? I know hiv is typically transferred by quite a direct exchange of bodily fluids but my mind is so stressed by the theoretical risk...

One more thing to add (sorry!). Because Iíve had such bad anxiety since this incident, Iím constantly questioning whether the condom was successful, because it was very dark! I know whoever is reading this wasnít there to verify it. But all I can say is throughout the sex I kept rolling it back to make sure it was intact, and I managed to have the condom in my hands at the end (because I wanted to go into a lit room to make sure it hadnít failed. But my anxiety is constantly causing me to doubt myself.

To make matters worse, Iíve developed a dry cough which came on around 6 days after the incident, which isnít a bad cough, just an annoying tickle which provokes the urge to cough. I have also had a few lymph nodes in my neck become enlarged, I think 3 in total. I also had one in my groin that felt a bit painful. Also this has been accompanied my abdominal gurgling but Iím wondering whether this is because anxiety has caused me to eat less

Sorry I know this is a lot to unload but I can honestly say that this November canít end soon enough, anxiety has never hit me quite like this. In 9 long days Iím hoping this will all end when I have a 4th gen test done and fingers crossed it comes out negative. But until then Iím really just wanting some objective assessment of my situation...

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Is this a zero-risk encounter? Honestly
« Reply #1 on: November 27, 2018, 05:39:11 pm »
Okay so please understand that HIV does not survive (remain infectious) outside the human body, and it cannot reproduce outside a human host. See HIV is incredibly fragile and, once hiv finds itself exposed outside the body, small changes in temperature, pH / moisture levels all damage the receptors needed to infect you thus render it unable to infect you.

This is so much so the case that nobody has ever sexually acquired HIV once its been exposed outside the confides of the human-body   

HIV can not transmit though an intact condom, nobody has ever been infected from fingering and finally getting your penis sucked is not a HIV risk either regardless of where the persons mouth has been before sucking you off,  please understand that, saliva is not infectious, it also contains over a dozen elements that neutralize HIV. Let me put it this way after 40 years in terms of BJ's there hasnít been a single documented case of HIV transmission to an insertive partner (the person being "sucked") and you will not be the worlds first and making medical history anytime soon.

1-  no risk
2 - no risk
3 - no risk, plenty of irrational & baseless "what if's" over nothing.

In short: You did not acquire HIV from this encounter. That is your assessment.
 
Ill add HIV does not make you cough either, if you are sick see your GP and treat it like you normally would (Should)

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, every time, no exceptions. Consider starting PrEP as an additional layer of protection

Keep in mind that some sexual practices which may be described as Ďsafeí in terms of HIV transmission might still pose a risk for transmission of other STI's, so please do get fully tested regularly and at least yearly for all STI's including but not limited to HIV and test more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs

Also note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and the only way of knowing is by testing.

More information on HIV Basics, PEP, TaSP and Transmission can be found through the links in my signature to our POZ pages, this includes information on HIV Testing

Kind regards

Jim

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Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Is this a zero-risk encounter? Honestly
« Reply #2 on: November 27, 2018, 05:43:43 pm »
Quote
But all I can say is throughout the sex I kept rolling it back to make sure it was intact, and I managed to have the condom in my hands at the end (because I wanted to go into a lit room to make sure it hadnít failed. But my anxiety is constantly causing me to doubt myself.

If a condom fails during intercourse it shreds leaving no doubt, there is nothing to be checking! So as long as a that did not happen, you need to park your fears and move on with your life.
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Transmission and Risks:
HIV Transmission and Risks
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline Hopefulguy

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Re: Is this a zero-risk encounter? Honestly
« Reply #3 on: November 28, 2018, 05:12:25 am »
Thank you for your prompt reply, Jim.

I know you mention that there is no documented case of hiv through oral, but having browsed the ĎI just tested pozí forum, itís frightening to see a lot of people claiming to have only engaged in oral sex. I know this is anecdotal and not Ďdocumentedí, but is it fair to dismiss these as false claims? Sorry if it seems Iím doubting your answer, itís just very difficult when there seems so many things out there conflict something that should be quite rational. Can you, with absolute certainty, declare this a zero-risk activity?

The reason anal fluids have me worried, is because they are apparently one of the most infectious bodily fluids.

Also I was worried about the guy who bottomed. He initially wanted to have bareback sex, using the fact that he was on prep as an excuse. This worried me, as it suggested that he lets all sexual partners ejaculate inside him. Obviously whether he was on prep or not is irrelevant because you canít put too much trust into someone you barely know, but to me it placed him at the high end of the risk spectrum. (I know anyone can have hiv, and it doesnít discriminate)

Im sorry, I probably sound like a broken record but if I didnít get it off my chest I would probably go insane.  :-\

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Is this a zero-risk encounter? Honestly
« Reply #4 on: November 28, 2018, 05:39:10 am »
Firstly asking me the same questions again is not going to change the answer. I said nothing you posted here was a HIV risk.

On the stories, yeah sure plenty of them and trust me both here and face to face I've heard it all including "aliens from out of space"  a few times it was "the next door neighbours cat" did it  ;D Overall stories are simply not facts! I do appreciate that some people need to have a story to cope however I don't lose any sleep worrying that E.T or my kids cat might molest me whilst I sleep.

"Oral"   ::) Its such a lazy term anyway. Giving a blowjob to someone is a near negligible risk as other conditions are required as we know now the mouth lacks the cells to infect normally spoken and even if there was route than the virus is very fragile, and your mouth has dozens of protein and enzymes that damage the virus and render it unable to infect. There have been a few cases and hence its near negligible, and we understand why we have those cases and the biological event.

Getting your penis sucked however is a totally different kettle of fish and has even more barriers and no cases "Zero" 

Quote
is it fair to dismiss these as false claims?

Yeah sure, and before we understood the biological conditions needed stories and fear were far more rampant & sometimes accepted, like the cat next door, door knobs, household appliances, kissing, hugging, mosquitoes etc etc etc and the ongoing hoaxes about banana's, fizzy drinks, oranges phfff its exhausting and for some its great new ways for some people to claim to have semi innocent HIV vs just HIV ... This largely stopped or scaremongering is challenged correctly with facts as we learned decades ago more facts about the virus and its biological needs and requirements

Science simply put has moved on and anecdotal stories are just stories, not facts. There are many reasons why someone would rather not admit to an exposure or the full truth. For some being diagnosed/living with HIV is difficult enough time on its own, meaning struggling with deep fears of HIV stigma, social judgment & self stigma but also at times with things like sexuality, religion, family, sexual relationships etc etc that all come into play as well and for others even legal fears.

There is allot of misinformation or outdated information or stories on the internet and that get passed around as facts, also sites hosting things without clear context and what does and does not make a situation a risk so the blanket approach :(  We however rely on the latest scientific peer reviewed science for our assessments. This also gets fed back into the poz pages on transmission risks if needed and great effort is put into ensuring the message is clear.

So to recap HIV is sexually only transmitted inside the human body as in never leaving the confides of the body or being exposed to the environment. See HIV is fragile and the receptors needed to infect human cells corrod in contact with the environment, hence nobody has ever been infected from the way you fear.

HIV transmission is always a biological event, four conditions must simultaneously  be present for even a theoretical transmission to occur:  The virus must be present in an infectious body fluid from the HIV positive person, it must be present at sufficient levels to cause infection. There must be an effective route of transmission, and it must reach susceptible cells in another person.

You met none of the 4 conditions needed.

My advice is to put the tin hat away, stop worrying about never before happened issues and thinking it somehow will happen to you and learn to move on with your life, continue to use condoms, consider PrEP and test out of standard routine at least yearly for STI's & HIV.

Take it or leave it, that is your risk assessment.
Take it easy

Jim   

 
« Last Edit: November 28, 2018, 05:44:40 am by JimDublin »
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Transmission and Risks:
HIV Transmission and Risks
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline Hopefulguy

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Re: Is this a zero-risk encounter? Honestly
« Reply #5 on: January 31, 2019, 11:57:35 am »
Well itís been exactly 3 months today (84 days) and I promised myself I would share my outcome on here. It seems Jim was right, no risk!! I tested negative today and this is conclusive!! Now to move on with my life! All the best and I know itís easier said than done but try your hardest to believe people when they say itís zero risk!!

 


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