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Author Topic: Nosey People Asking Questions...  (Read 726 times)

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Offline Loa111

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  • Posts: 141
Nosey People Asking Questions...
« on: November 21, 2018, 03:56:41 pm »
I've had a few nosey associates asking me questions about why I am going to the doctor a lot, or why do I feel tired a lot and lack energy or look pale or comment on the spots/zits or little blemishes which come and go on my face/neck/head.

Ok I know it is no ones business, and I keep things private as best I can. My Dx will certainly stay strictly confidential. But some people do notice that things are a bit different with me, and that I've not been the same this year.

As some of you know I came down in earlier this year with very bad pnuemonia which led to my advanced Dx in May. So I've been saying that the pnuemonia after effects can cause fatigue for up to a year, and whatever way I'm made up genetically, the doctors say it really has run my immune system down in a very bad way, and that the docs been watching that just to make sure I fully recover.

I've thought about saying I've an autoimmune disorder but I'm worried that might lead someone to get close to guessing my problem.

It is a bit annoying to have to dodge this sort of stuff sometimes.

I bumped into to someone I knew over a decade ago at the blood testing area in the hospital last month. This person knew I lived in SE Asia for years, and on seeing me in the blood test area, made a tasteless joke "oh, hope you didn't pick anything strange up over there!"...(err well actually I did I answered in my head!).

I am a bit careful even when I go to the hospital, and I find I'm looking around always to see can I spot anyone I know so I can avoid them!

Any other ideas/advice I can use to put people off the scent?
« Last Edit: November 21, 2018, 04:06:23 pm by Loa111 »

Offline CaveyUK

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Re: Nosey People Asking Questions...
« Reply #1 on: November 21, 2018, 04:39:00 pm »
When I was first diagnosed, I told work that I had been ill a number of times over the previous year (which was correct) with various little infections, and the latest one prompted me to get to the bottom of it. They had referred me to the hospital for a series of tests, which meant I needed to go back and forth quite a bit, and to be honest no-one really batted an eyelid.

As time went by, occasionally someone would ask how it was all going and I'd say they didn't find anything concrete out, but were monitoring me periodically so I go back every six months or so....

In my office, there have been a number of people with serious health issues (a variety, from strokes to pneumonia to meningitis), so my occasional disappearances for 'hospital visits' don't seem to register that high, which is good.

But I do work in a massive company. If I were in a small business it may be a bit harder.
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Offline lightalltheway

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  • Posts: 89
Re: Nosey People Asking Questions...
« Reply #2 on: November 21, 2018, 04:58:45 pm »
Loa111,

Your health is yours, and what is yours is private 'period'. Then it comes what you decide to share with others, how, when, and in which context. Aside of that, many people are sick, they do not have a strong healthy systems for various reasons and causes. Some people are weak by nature while others visit their General Doctor once in a blue moon, that's life. with or without HIV.

People being nosey means interfering with your ' private ' life, no matter what it is. You have the full right to answer in any form that makes you happy, safe and content.

I was reading an interesting book about dealing with sadness and negative emotions, i would like to share with you a wonderful, yet critical, perspective about secrecy. Private remains private for/ how long as you may wish it to be. Even if somebody find out what you did your best to hide, you can still deny because the only fact is what you confess in words.

I hope my lines will make you feel better and less worried.

Light all the way,
Prince

Offline Loa111

  • Member
  • Posts: 141
Re: Nosey People Asking Questions...
« Reply #3 on: November 21, 2018, 05:16:54 pm »
Thank you Cavey, good tactics there. I work solo but in conjunction with a couple of associates, so harder than in a big company.

Thank you Prince. Those lines below are very good indeed n insightful.
« Last Edit: November 21, 2018, 05:19:49 pm by Loa111 »

Offline harleymc

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,143
Re: Nosey People Asking Questions...
« Reply #4 on: November 21, 2018, 07:10:04 pm »
Last week,  I had to go for cancer screening.  I took the day off, but after several biopsies I didn't bounce back well the next day.

When My manager asked me where I had the biopsies (taken from), I replied 'At the hospital',  I'd tell you more if you were on my health care team.

He apologised.

Offline Loa111

  • Member
  • Posts: 141
Re: Nosey People Asking Questions...
« Reply #5 on: November 22, 2018, 08:22:56 am »
Good answer to the manager.
Hope your screening goes well!

Offline Mindless

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  • Posts: 111
Re: Nosey People Asking Questions...
« Reply #6 on: November 28, 2018, 09:36:12 am »
I usually avoid telling people I go the hospital or to the doctor, I usually make up some other reasons for my absence but I must admit I’ve been “lucky” so far with my various illnesses: even various skin problems I had were not visible.
Just after dx though it was the most difficult time as I was seeing docs almost every other day and I ended up losing 15 kg of my body weight: to the noisy ones I justified saying I had caught some kind of “intestinal infection”, sometimes with “liver problems” that required me to stay on a strict diet, sometimes even boasting a renovated exercise routine  ;D...
After 1.5 years is getting better and I recovered almost all the weight (unfortunately  ;D).

M
Edit: almost 2 years actually
« Last Edit: November 28, 2018, 09:38:29 am by Mindless »

Offline Mindless

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Re: Nosey People Asking Questions...
« Reply #7 on: November 28, 2018, 09:40:30 am »
@harleymc

Good luck with your screenings buddy!

Offline harleymc

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  • Posts: 1,143
Re: Nosey People Asking Questions...
« Reply #8 on: December 02, 2018, 07:40:29 pm »
The screenings were for a slow developing cancer, I just need to do them annually as I'm 'high risk' which translates as a one in 200 chance of developing in any year.

It doesn't sound much one in 200 annually, but I expect to be around for the next 40 years,   so we'll keep an eye on things.  :)

Offline Mindless

  • Member
  • Posts: 111
Re: Nosey People Asking Questions...
« Reply #9 on: December 02, 2018, 08:02:08 pm »
The screenings were for a slow developing cancer, I just need to do them annually as I'm 'high risk' which translates as a one in 200 chance of developing in any year.

It doesn't sound much one in 200 annually, but I expect to be around for the next 40 years,   so we'll keep an eye on things.  :)

Keep fighting!  ;)

 


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