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Author Topic: a thought  (Read 374 times)

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Offline em

  • Member
  • Posts: 354
a thought
« on: November 13, 2018, 10:18:47 am »
lets see if I can do this thought I had  justice

 a plea for us and for those yet to come

there are over 36 million or so people living with HIV

as hard as it may seem and as  lonely at times it  may feel 

those of us who have this burden can live as well as we can as long as we can. It is our duty  our obligation to carry on  This could be our legacy our gift to others facing the same or even a similar challenge. now and in the future  To be an example to others facing challenges that if we can strive grow and offer to others through and by example.

In that if we can do this minor thing by just living and holding on to just as many days as we can ; the more the better. Then this will be our gift if not all that note worthy as it might seem. just maintaining our lives and trudging onward. It might seem to  the individual to not be much but being an example of accomplishment even if seemingly small it still would be a light in the darkness for others treading the same path. a trail we have blazed just by trudging down the uncharted wilderness of life we have found ourselves pushing our way through.

I am sorry that I do not have something more enlightening to offer some inspirational words of wisdom to impart to anyone finding themselves in a similar situation. A promise of better days might not be true but the hope and faith to guide an inspire others not to give up. better days should follow even if it might be hard to beleive and comprehend;even when it seems that darkness is the only aspect of our existence. offering a ray of light  by some slight seemingly trivial insignificant detail like simply living another day might seem to the individual living through it . that could mean the world to someone else finding themselves riding down the same road  we find our selves trailblazing moment by moment ever foreword without giving up .

just a thought from an old man trying to give some small worth to a life at least to me does not seem very accomplished or rewarding just barely getting by day by day. One day at a time. Carrying the burden a load that seemingly justifiable holds us back from the person and having the life we thought we might have had.  that this virus can seem to have resulted in our lives

I know that others might pick apart the pieces of this short observation to point out the flaws without noticing the intent of its entirety. That is to give value to a seemingly small trivial unnoticed accomplishment  that is just the ability and desire to take another breath.

just trying to put into words the value of a moment

to ourselves and those who are following down the road of life just behind us

others might offer a critique of the small details without noticing the entirety of this as an attempt to give inspiration

all my best to you


Offline MarkintheDark

  • Member
  • Posts: 87
Re: a thought
« Reply #1 on: November 13, 2018, 02:22:11 pm »
We're on a similar track, em.  I realized a while ago my strength wasn't in marches, organizing, etc.  My strength is targeted in smaller things.  And that has to be good enough for me.  This certainly isn't the life I want or wanted, but it's what I've got.

To wit, in the midst of being sick last month I was treated with utter disdain by people with an HIV/AIDS agency who should know better.  It was just one office.  And I'm just one client.  But their behavior towards me was so dismissive, outrageous, hypocritical and disrespectful I filed a formal four-page grievance with the help of an advocate.

The gist of it is that these people, by their actions, actively discouraged me from access to my physician.

tbh, I don't know that it will affect anything.  Most importantly, however, I went on the record.  I specifically challenged those involved to go on the record, as I had, to justify their behavior towards someone who was sick and who was an LTS.  What I can say for my advocate is that he made certain my grievance got exposure.  At this point, all I can hope is that there are perhaps a few other individuals who've raised as much hell as I have.
HIV dx - 02/93
AIDS dx - 07/01
Rilpivirine/Cabotegravir guinea pig since 01/17

Offline OneTampa

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,896
  • "Butterflies are free."
Re: a thought
« Reply #2 on: November 13, 2018, 10:21:47 pm »
EM and Mark,

I understand your points as a Freshman Senior and going 34-year Survivor.

Your posts prompted me to write the following poem:


"He is my oldest child. The shy and retiring one over there with the Haitian headdress serving pescaíto frito."

Offline em

  • Member
  • Posts: 354
Re: a thought
« Reply #3 on: December 17, 2018, 01:21:51 am »
thank you for replying they mean the world to me

for me at least it was not long ago
My old PC with the CRT ( cathode ray tube )  monitor and the large box what was it called back then ? under the table we used as a desk with dial up ?

 some of you out there  might have liked the banter and patience it had taken to try and figure out what was being written
this site used to be at least to me a kind of a chat room with all kinds of this and that back and forth in real time it was non stop

now it is kind of tame in comparison

hopefully soon if all goes well there will be no need for this at all

with in the next ten years hopefully when a cure is found will the last one here please shut off the light when you leave

for now as  I sit thinking of what might be a reasonable note or short message that someone might like to respond to? something lighthearted  and hope full and reassuring to ponder ? If anyone else can think of something please chime in ?

even though the responses are not as numerous as they once were they have been very kind and hopeful not the aggravation they used to carry. but that was many years ago and a different server or net work provider. there are other places people go to communicate these days

please pardon the lack of reel content in my posts it just helps me to sleep to try and contact anyone out there that my be just there looking for something to relate to it might not be of much help in ways we truly need it knowing there is an out there to throw up thoughts makes it worth while at least to me

thank you for being here to write to

all the best to you


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