Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
November 14, 2018, 02:04:49 am

Login with username, password and session length


Members
  • Total Members: 33696
  • Latest: RIGuy80
Stats
  • Total Posts: 737704
  • Total Topics: 61108
  • Online Today: 246
  • Online Ever: 1421
  • (August 13, 2016, 05:18:44 am)
Users Online
Users: 1
Guests: 221
Total: 222

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: For What Itís Worth...  (Read 577 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline TexasDragon

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
For What Itís Worth...
« on: November 10, 2018, 01:42:21 pm »
For what its worth, I joined the club on November the 8th, 2018. I should have know better, but I had a high risk event October the 4th, 2018. He said he was negative and DDF - but I should have known better. I got feeling bad - and scared - and went in for a test October the 25th - negative. But because I had a high risk event I had a blood draw on October 27th. A week later I got a call it was inconclusive and being sent away. On November 8th I got the call to come in - they could not give me the diagnosis over the phone, but the jist of the conversation was obvious. I meet with clinic today - November 10th - to discuss, and the RNA test was conclusive and positive. My counselor said itís the earliest she has seen an infection be Ďcaughtí and that is the silver lining so to speak.

To say I am scared is an understatement. Not angry at anyone other than myself. I have a son thatís a senior in HS. I canít let this effect his life, so not fair to him.

Just numb. I have to call a doctor on Tuesday (since Monday is a holiday) and make my first appointment. Itís going to be a very long weekend.

Offline JimDublin

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 9,936
  • Twitter @JimAllenDublin
    • HIV Lessons
Re: For What Itís Worth...
« Reply #1 on: November 10, 2018, 02:37:25 pm »
Hiya

Sorry to hear about the test results.
Sounds like you're still digesting the news, feeling numb or angry are pretty common reactions I suppose.

I'm not sure I understand why you think it will effect your son in high school though. Plenty of us here are parents. Maybe you can elaborate on this concern?

As being new to this there is a lot of information you can read in the "Just tested Positive" welcome thread that gives some of the basics and basic links to lessons  https://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=2276.0 . There is also a thread on 2018 HIV meds https://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=69107.0

What I would recommend however is not reading too much, first have your appointment and talk to the doctor. Until that first visit when I'm sure you will get more results and discuss treatment I am going to ask you to only post in this one thread.

The other forum members will be able to answer you here and provide support.

Take it easy

Jim
« Last Edit: November 10, 2018, 04:09:14 pm by JimDublin »
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Transmission and Risks:
HIV Transmission and Risks
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline Jmarksto

  • Member
  • Posts: 661
Re: For What Itís Worth...
« Reply #2 on: November 10, 2018, 04:01:03 pm »
Hey TexasDragon; 


Sorry to hear your news.  I remember my first weekend after hearing the news - I was literally in a panic, and I had a daughter in high school and had similar concerns.  Looking back I put way to much energy into worrying.


My recommendation is to take care of yourself, get some exercise, sleep well, and try not to focus on it.  The reality is that with today's medications your health is going to be fine.


Hang in there and let us know if you have any questions.


Take care.
03/15/12 Negative
06/15/12 Positive
07/11/12 CD4 790          VL 4,000
08/06/12 CD4 816/38%   VL 49,300
08/20/12 Started Complera
11/06/12 CD4   819/41% VL 38
02/11/13 CD4   935/41% VL UD
06/06/13 CD4   816/41% VL UD
10/28/13 CD4 1131/45% VL 25
02/25/14 CD4   792/37% VL UD
07/09/14 CD4 1004/39% VL UD
11/03/14 CD4   711/34% VL UD
03/13/15 CD4   833/36% VL UD
04/??/15 Truvada & Tivicay
06/01/15 CD4 1100/50% VL UD
10/16/15 CD4   826/43% VL UD
??/??/2017 Descov & Tivicay
2017 VL UD, CD4 stable around 850
2018 VL UD, CD4 stable around 850

Offline MarkintheDark

  • Member
  • Posts: 75
Re: For What Itís Worth...
« Reply #3 on: November 10, 2018, 06:03:05 pm »
Hello Texas.  Glad you found us.  I'll reiterate what's already been said.  You'll be fine.

Nevertheless, yeah, you're probably going to be experiencing a lot of emotions for a while.  That's normal, believe it or not.  Do what you can to keep your normal activities, if only to keep yourself distracted.  You're not gonna do that perfectly.  But, you aren't being graded on it either.

I suppose I could give you a laundry list of things to do.  Not gonna.  You've enough on your plate emotionally.  Instead, how about if, as questions come up, you just ask 'em here?  There's lots of experience and support for you.
HIV dx - 02/93
AIDS dx - 07/01
Rilpivirine/Cabotegravir guinea pig since 01/17

Offline TexasDragon

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
Re: For What Itís Worth...
« Reply #4 on: November 10, 2018, 09:59:50 pm »
Thank you all for your thoughts and kind words.

Iíd like to think I would be compassionate if someone told me they were HIV positive. Yet I struggle to find that same compassion for myself from myself.

As for my son, I donít want him to worry about me or be embarrassed. Not that I have any intention of telling anyone, but it does weigh on my mind. As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse I know what damage secrects have...and that they never stay secret without poisoning lives. Case in point.

The more I read about everyoneís experiences that better I feel - and the more hopeful I am. I am only weeks into the infection so my counselor said the potential for an OI is very low and I should be fine and may never get sick at all. Thatís what I hope for now.

I bid you all peace. Know you make a difference.

Offline JosephP

  • Member
  • Posts: 250
  • Keep looking FORWARD... Dx'd 8/10/2013...
Re: For What Itís Worth...
« Reply #5 on: November 10, 2018, 11:47:01 pm »
Hang in there Dragon! All will be well!
We are all dealing with this. And we will live long and productive lives!! AND, yes the Lord is my shepherd. Life is good... And thanks for the meds!

Offline TexasDragon

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
Re: For What Itís Worth...
« Reply #6 on: November 11, 2018, 08:46:38 am »
The hardest thing right now is the waiting to do SOMETHING, thinking with every second that ticks by Iím getting sicker and sicker. Probably more in my head than not.

Avid cyclist here - more than 40,000 miles in last six years...maybe that will help me feel better...Iíll go for a ride.

I bid you all peace. Know you make a difference.

Offline TexasDragon

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
Re: For What Itís Worth...
« Reply #7 on: November 12, 2018, 10:13:59 am »
Hi All -

I reached out today to an ID specialist in my area and in my insurance network.

That was super scary - not sure exactly why other than the reality.

I had to send them my paperwork confirming the diagnosis. The doctor will review and they will call to schedule an appointment.

Hanging on...


Offline Jmarksto

  • Member
  • Posts: 661
Re: For What Itís Worth...
« Reply #8 on: November 12, 2018, 02:27:25 pm »
Hi All -

I reached out today to an ID specialist in my area and in my insurance network.

That was super scary - not sure exactly why other than the reality.

I had to send them my paperwork confirming the diagnosis. The doctor will review and they will call to schedule an appointment.

Hanging on...


Sounds like you are making progress.  Facing the fear of the diagnosis is real, it will take some time for that to calm down.  You'll feel better once you get a good working relationship with your doc and you hear from them that this will be manageable.  Hopefully you have been able to get a ride or two in to help.
03/15/12 Negative
06/15/12 Positive
07/11/12 CD4 790          VL 4,000
08/06/12 CD4 816/38%   VL 49,300
08/20/12 Started Complera
11/06/12 CD4   819/41% VL 38
02/11/13 CD4   935/41% VL UD
06/06/13 CD4   816/41% VL UD
10/28/13 CD4 1131/45% VL 25
02/25/14 CD4   792/37% VL UD
07/09/14 CD4 1004/39% VL UD
11/03/14 CD4   711/34% VL UD
03/13/15 CD4   833/36% VL UD
04/??/15 Truvada & Tivicay
06/01/15 CD4 1100/50% VL UD
10/16/15 CD4   826/43% VL UD
??/??/2017 Descov & Tivicay
2017 VL UD, CD4 stable around 850
2018 VL UD, CD4 stable around 850

Offline TexasDragon

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
Re: For What Itís Worth...
« Reply #9 on: November 12, 2018, 07:15:10 pm »
I think Iím going to be ok...just different.

Offline harleymc

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,091
Re: For What Itís Worth...
« Reply #10 on: November 12, 2018, 07:28:12 pm »
I do remember the shock when I was diagnosed, but the actual emotion of course fades away with time.  I'm 33 years down the track, I still cycle and I'm planning to get married, life goes on.  :)

Offline TexasDragon

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
Re: For What Itís Worth...
« Reply #11 on: Yesterday at 10:11:36 am »
The doctors office called - first appointment is Thursday 11/15 at 8 AM.

Offline TexasDragon

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
Re: For What Itís Worth...
« Reply #12 on: Yesterday at 10:23:53 pm »
I was born to find goblins in their caves
And chase moonlight
To see shadows and seek hidden rivers
To hear the rain fall on dry leaves
And chat a bit with death across foggy nights.

― James Kavanaugh, Sunshine Days and Foggy Nights

I love poetry. Recently it has been such a comfort as I wait, and wait, and wait. I want to be Ďoní something rather than just waiting.

Time moves so slow...

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2018 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.