Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
July 05, 2020, 07:13:21 pm

Login with username, password and session length


Members
  • Total Members: 35412
  • Latest: JaiGuru
Stats
  • Total Posts: 754986
  • Total Topics: 63747
  • Online Today: 242
  • Online Ever: 4912
  • (November 13, 2019, 02:56:14 am)
Users Online
Users: 1
Guests: 166
Total: 167

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Do I Have HIV?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: I need stories! Please help :)  (Read 1533 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline SunredyNL

  • New Member
  • Posts: 2
I need stories! Please help :)
« on: October 20, 2018, 05:21:06 pm »
Hey guys!
My name is Krystian, I live in Amsterdam, the Netherlands. I am 25 years and was diagnosed with HIV when I was born. My biological mother was a prostitute in the 90s so I was given up for adoption with this heritage.
I recently started dating an amazing guy. He is really smart, funny and kind. He is healthy. Whenever I am interested in someone, I always tell them my condition, I wanna be clear and honest. I am on meds, I am fully undetectable.
He works in the hospital and is educated so he knows how it works, also he talked with his friend who is a doctor, and got a nice response from him.
So here is my request, I want him to feel more secure and see that there are similar stories, like ours. Me undetectable and the partner is healthy.
Could you write if you are in a situation like that? Share some light on the subject or maybe write shortly about it?
I would really appreciate it!!
Hope you all are great,
Love from the Netherlands,
Krystian

Offline Jim Allen

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 15,657
  • Twitter @JimAllenDublin
    • HIV Lessons
Re: I need stories! Please help :)
« Reply #1 on: October 20, 2018, 05:52:40 pm »
Hiya

Welcome to the forum.

So stories ... Question as reading your post I feel unsure, are the stories (reassurance) for you or for him? I mean does he have doubts? If he really has doubts about this maybe its not to be, I've know a few of them in my time. Or perhaps as additional (mental) reassurance he could take PrEP?

Problem with stories are they are stories not facts and you have the facts already.
Plenty of stories though on the forum of people with treatment having sex, babies, living life etc etc

Anyhow I have sex with plenty of people in my years, no HIV transmission.

The real short story is that after nearly 21 years worth of studies no transmission has been occurred when someone living with HIV was on treatment & UD for at least 6 months, you can live your life stressing about being the first, neither can your BF.

Anyhow take it easy. 

Jim.

Welkom op het forum

Verhalen zat te vinden op internet, ook op deze forum. Probleem is verhalen zijn geen feiten. Kijk er is bijna 21 jaar onderzoek inmiddels op dit onderwerp en de uitkomst is ook al 21 jaar hetzelfde, als je therapietrouw bent (blijft) en minstens een half jaar een ondetecteerbare viral load hebt, dan is HIV niet overdraagbaar.

Het ‘Zwitserse standpunt’ van 2008 was al de uitkomst van eerder onderzoek en in de 10 jaar sindsdien heeft verder onderzoek dit alleen bevestigd 

Hiernaast zijn er simpelweg geen gedocumenteerde gevallen van iemand die aan het ‘Zwitserse standpunt’ voldoet en seksueel HIV heeft overgedragen, jij zal niet de eerste geval zijn wereldwijd.

Groet,

Jim


« Last Edit: October 20, 2018, 05:55:25 pm by JimDublin »
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline SunredyNL

  • New Member
  • Posts: 2
Re: I need stories! Please help :)
« Reply #2 on: October 20, 2018, 05:57:17 pm »
Thanks Jim! Yeah, I just wanted some mental reassurance for him :)
I know those are not the facts, he already knows them, but still would like to know them.

Offline Jim Allen

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 15,657
  • Twitter @JimAllenDublin
    • HIV Lessons
Re: I need stories! Please help :)
« Reply #3 on: October 20, 2018, 06:02:04 pm »
Well just keep in mind when reading stories not to mistake everything you read for facts. End of the day though if he ends up having long term doubts than prehaps its just not ment to be. (Yeah I know i'm blunt)

Pently of stories on the Dutch forum as well if that helps you  http://www.hivnet.org/forum/index.php

Take it easy and, again welcome to the forum.
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline Cutiepie

  • Member
  • Posts: 3
Re: I need stories! Please help :)
« Reply #4 on: October 21, 2018, 11:26:14 am »
Hi Kristian!

Well, did he tell you he needs 'mental' reassuring, or are you the one needing reassurance that he doesn't need reassurance?

Anyhow, what's in your control is making sure you remain undetectable and continue using a condom.

However, if the 30+ years of data that led to U=U isn't enough to 'reassure him', well I agree with JimDublin; it's just not meant to be.

Offline Happycouple

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Re: I need stories! Please help :)
« Reply #5 on: October 21, 2018, 02:07:18 pm »
Hi Krystian,

one of our previous partner (HIV+), has a relationship since three years with an HIV- man, and no problem at all.
He is still HIV-, every thing is fine, they are talking about having kids.

As Jim said in a previous post, all studies and experiences shows that if your viral load is undetectable for more than six months and follow your ARV regime, there is no chance to transmit the virus (and statistically speaking, there is more chance to catch HIV while having sex with condom with an HIV+ partner with a detectable viral load).

Both of you should not worry and be happy to have found each other


Offline wellington

  • Member
  • Posts: 511
  • Don't sweat the little things.
Re: I need stories! Please help :)
« Reply #6 on: October 22, 2018, 06:18:35 pm »
Stories may not always dwell upon facts, but they do qualify the nuance and context of relationships, with ourselves, and with others. What stories do we tell ourselves? What do we tell others? To that end, stories matter a great deal in making sense of lived experience. Stories of living with HIV are particularly important and relevant in today's world. Making ourselves visible should remain a priority.

My partner and I are coming up on our thirtieth anniversary. I have been HIV positive for a little more than thirteen of those years. He remains HIV negative. We have an, at times, open relationship. It works well for us.

We have less sex now than we used to, but when we do we use condoms when penetration occurs. Oral sex, or just fooling around is never with a condom. These are mutual choices we have made. We are also committed to disclosures about the contacts we may have with other men. We care about each other deeply, and that includes care for our respective sexual health by engaging in conversation about mitigating risk and harm. Being direct and transparent has worked well for us. Hopefully you will find a path that works well for you both, too.

Best wishes,
w

Offline CaveyUK

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 1,644
Re: I need stories! Please help :)
« Reply #7 on: October 23, 2018, 01:00:54 pm »
You'll find no shortage of 'stories' about sero-discordant folk on here.

Me personally, I was diagnosed a few years ago and prior to this had hundreds of unprotected encounters with my long-term girlfriend. She tested as negative. Since becoming UD, she wanted us to ditch the condoms - especially in light of the U=U campaign AND the approval of my doctor. We now have better, and sometimes wilder, sex than ever and she is still negative.
HIV - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read more about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
You can read more about PEP and PrEP here:
PEP and PrEP

Offline Tonny2

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,310
Re: I need stories! Please help :)
« Reply #8 on: October 23, 2018, 05:35:21 pm »


     ojo.     Hello there... This story might help you and your boyfriend. I just talked to my good friend and and and ex
member of this forum, PEDERDENNARK,  by your neck of the wood. He, after living with AIDS for around 8 months, I think, whom now, after four years and cd4 over 600 and UD for more than three years, he and his wife just had a healthy (HIV negative) baby boy, which makes all of us very happy...I told my friend he should name him "little TONNY2", he said, no thank you, lol...so, there are so many stories like this on this forum, I remember my buddy 2Tcells, he had a baby too, well, his girlfriend, lol... Wishing you the best and please keep us posted, and, if you two have a baby boy in the future, you may want to name him little TONNY2...HUGS.                          ojo

Offline LeftyBowler300

  • Member
  • Posts: 97
Re: I need stories! Please help :)
« Reply #9 on: November 01, 2018, 12:25:43 pm »
I was diagnosed a year and a half ago
Thankfully my boyfriend of 5 years didn't catch it.
We still have a healthy sex life. He takes PreP and I remain undetectable. Kinda eliminates worry for both of us.
I message him the time I take my med, so he can confirm it and I can look back if I forget I took it.
Apr 1, 2017 DX - CD4 8 , VL 820,000
OI's: Disseminated Histoplasmosis, Thrush, PCP
Apr 17, 2017 started Genvoya, Bactrim, Sporanox, Azitrhomycin
Jun 9, 2017 - CD4 42 (3%) , VL 100
Jul 17, 2017 - CD4 57 (4%) , VL 53
Sep 16, 2017 - CD4 57 (4%) , VL 130 - Ugh... wtf
Oct 20, 2017 - CD4 63 (5%) , VL 100
Dec 1, 2017 - CD4 56 (3%) , VL <20
Mar 15, 2018 - CD4 73 (5%) , VL <20
Nov 5, 2018 - CD4 104 (7%), UD
Jan 26, 2019 diagnosed with HIV-associated DLBCL with 6cm mass near liver w/ abdominal fatty tissue involvement
6 rounds of RR-EPOCH
2 rounds of high dose methotrexate
(8 rounds of IV chemo total)
11 Lumbar punctures with intrathecal chemo
June 5, 2019 - Complete Response/Remission
Feb 20, 2020 - CD4 187, VL UD
Stopped all prophylaxis

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2020 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.