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Author Topic: Condition  (Read 1094 times)

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Offline MadDog125

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Condition
« on: September 29, 2018, 07:25:53 pm »
Recently I was having a local talk with people regarding my dignosis.  Basicly my counselor suggested it because reasons!  So here I am at an gay youth I won't pretend I know all the letters anymore,  Again his idea, (I never fit in the gay community). It was supposed to be a story share promote safe sex thing.  I was one of the + people there when the question came up about thinking of HIV as a condition.  Well a young woman probably no more than 18 who shared that she is diabetic mentioned one problem.  She can't under any circumstance transmit diabetes.  When talking to someone god forbid a love interest how to you avoid the fact that HIV is an infectious disease.  Fortunately for me the question and answer weren't directed to me.  I thought about it most of today.  Hell the very medical specialists we are all tended by are called infectious disease specialists.  It's one rat wheel I have been stuck on since last december.  How to look at myself long term and not think bio hazard.  I get the goal of undetecable (Still not there).  Hell i took an annex class on microbiology trying to ease the mind.  It did not help.

Online JimDublin

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Re: Condition
« Reply #1 on: September 29, 2018, 07:57:04 pm »
Talking to local people takes guts, well done. I do the odd charity event and talk at fund raising stuff, did join as the positive guy on a radio show once regarding HIV.

Did a bake sale and a presentation on living with HIV at our corporate office last year and presented a few slides and spoke on the topic U=U as well. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1PHbYWNapvK_uGiEhHZlOWfyjq-mZZlGN/view

Not sure though if I would personally recommend this face to face stuff for a newly diagnosed person like yourself at least not if you are still digesting the diagnosis and/or going through the raw emotionally ride of being diagnosed.

Stigma , self-stigma and HIV go very deep and part of it is routed back to the shame/stigma society already has regarding transmission routes so sex, drugs mainly.

Quote
came up about thinking of HIV as a condition.  Well a young woman probably no more than 18 who shared that she is diabetic mentioned one problem.  She can't under any circumstance transmit diabetes

Medically very different conditions, true. Generally speaking, HIV seems to be with treatment far more easy to manage than diabetes overall and not transmissible sexually either with treatment but you can, with HIV pig out on a bag of mini marsbars without the risk of dying or slipping into a coma on the sofa unlike diabetics ;)

 ... yeah I know I'm fucking twisted. :P

Always found it odd when people compare totally unrelated manageable conditions though, both medically manageable and that is where the comparison really should stop.

Hugs

Jim

« Last Edit: September 30, 2018, 04:41:01 am by JimDublin »
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Online JimDublin

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Re: Condition
« Reply #2 on: September 29, 2018, 08:22:29 pm »
Quote
When talking to someone god forbid a love interest how to you avoid the fact that HIV is an infectious disease.  Fortunately for me the question and answer weren't directed to me.  I thought about it most of today.  Hell the very medical specialists we are all tended by are called infectious disease specialists.

Well contagious woud be an incorrect term, although most commonly people mistake the meaning of contagious with the term infectious. Just see the "AM I" section paranoia.

Anyhow that is another story altogether.

As for you feeling like a bio hazard, hmm sorry to hear that, also i'm moving your thread to "I just tested positive" section sorry for the double move on you.

Quote
how to you avoid the fact that HIV is an infectious disease

I don't avoid it , why would I?  Truth is HIV is, I on the otherhand with treatment am not infectious. I also don't blurt out I have HIV and its an infectious diseases either like a posesed madman or break down in tears when telling people. Its in the delivery of the message

In short, I explain in a calm fashion that I have a personal medical condition, managed by a pill a day keeping me in perfect health, and this pill also suppresses the condition so sexually I can't transmit it to others.The condition is HIV.

Plenty of disclosure threads on this topic if you do a quick search ofthe forums as well with examples of how people deal with this.

Quote
How to look at myself long term and not think bio hazard

I never really did, however the odd thought I had at first perhaps like this simpy became less and, finally went away as years ticked on , see life happened, got busy living life and at some point my mind accepted the reality or at least stopped thinking about myself as infected, a bio hazard or anything like that in that.   

Jim
« Last Edit: September 29, 2018, 09:02:24 pm by JimDublin »
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Offline Loa111

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Re: Condition
« Reply #3 on: October 01, 2018, 05:33:47 am »
I really dislike the term "infectious disease" especially when it is used to describe the doctor or the clinics we have to attend. I cringe when I see it on the letter the hospital sends me to confirm my next infectious diseases clinic appointment. I really wish this term could be changed or done away with when referring to the docs or places we have to go for treatment.  Whilst not sugar coating that an infectious disease is an infectious disease, a nicer term for our use would be easier to deal with mentally.

Offline MarkintheDark

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Re: Condition
« Reply #4 on: October 01, 2018, 07:03:02 am »
Hi MadDog -- As I read your description of what happened, this old guys's most persistent thought was, "wtf was this counselor thinking?"  I found myself wondering exactly what kind of background, if any, they had on HIV psychologically. 

This sounds like someone who has rarely, if at all, dealt with HIV.  It sounds like someone who's clueless, has heard of safer sex talks and, well, THAT would certainly be an obvious choice! (uh...no)

You say you never fit into the gay community and you're still hashing out things like dating while poz, the biohazard label, etc.  And this counselor is gonna then put you on the front lines directly in the line of fire...publicly?  I can only begin to imagine how uncomfortable that was for you.  And it was unnecessary.  I'm just going by what you said, but this counselor sounds incredibly ignorant and irresponsible.  IF I'm right, it's ok to walk away.

It sounds like this was a school counselor.  I'm hoping this one was NOT with an HIV agency because that is exactly the environment I'd suggest you seek.  You might consider The Trevor Project as a resource, too (https://www.thetrevorproject.org/).  I think peer support, at this point, would be a better choice, rather than putting you on the safer sex circuit.  Get comfortable with your own stuff however long it takes.
« Last Edit: October 01, 2018, 07:07:40 am by MarkintheDark »
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Offline CaveyUK

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Re: Condition
« Reply #5 on: October 01, 2018, 07:48:08 am »
Agree that you are too new to the journey to be doing public talks, although kudos to you for doing it.

Re the condition thing. Controlled HIV is a chronic medical condition, just like Diabetes or a million other things. It didn't used to be that way, before the advent of effective treatment - in the early days it was a progressive, effectively terminal diagnosis - think untreatable cancer. Things have come a long way. I'm sure that some people when antibiotics came to being had a hard time reconciling the fact that a severe chest infection wouldn't likely lead to death too. Thankfully times move on and science improved constantly.

On the diabetes comparison, it's one that is often used and the lady was correct in that you can't spread diabetes in the way you can with UNCONTROLLED HIV but we now know that people on treatment for HIV can't spread it either. It is however useful to compare for other illustrative reasons, and as someone who has recently just evaded a diabetes diagnosis I've been doing a lot of side-by-side comparisons and I can assure you that HIV is far easier and less complex to 'control' than diabetes, and diabetes has far worse life outcomes (both in quality of life and expected life-span) than controlled HIV does. Both HIV and Type-2 Diabetes are seen as lifestyle conditions, although as HIV is sexually transmitted, it comes with a huge amount more stigma

That's all talking about Type-2 diabetes. Type-1 is a slightly different in that technically, whilst you can't spread it socially- it can be inherited genetically if one or both parents are Type-1.

Also, in the UK - well for me specifically, not sure if it's the case everywhere - my doctor is not called an 'infectious diseases' doctor, but everything falls under the 'sexual health' banner, of which my doc is a consultant.

But yeah, I agree that when I think of infectious diseases I think of Ebola or more tropical, less understood diseases - stuff like that, rather than relatively controllable conditions like HIV so maybe the terminology will eventually catch-up.

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Offline MadDog125

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Re: Condition
« Reply #6 on: October 01, 2018, 10:47:52 am »
The irony of you mentioning ebola, I actually worked on the Phoenix air aircraft that brought ebola paitents to the CDC a couple years ago. 

More to the topic, the counselors theory was major move major imlact.  I've been seeing him for almost a year now.  That started pre diagnosis,  as for dating so far I've stayed completely off the radar.  Minor cuts and the like are normal for me in day to day life.  I just want to get to where I don't feel like I have to bleach everywhere I touch when I get a wound.  What's really eating at me is my Co workers know I'm well off my game.  Plus they know I'm grounded it just doesn't make sense to them why. 

That's why I wanted to go the meeting.  I have trouble having normal conversations, having one about this?  I was actually shaking when I told my family.  Outward emotion like that is way out of my character.  If I can't talk to members of the gay community who are there specificly for this topic I'm screwed trying to explain that to a love interest.

Offline CaveyUK

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Re: Condition
« Reply #7 on: October 01, 2018, 07:51:32 pm »
I do feel for you as I know you have had a rough time wrapping your head around the diagnosis for a number of reasons. I really hope that side of things improves for you soon.

And you know there is no reason for you to bleach everywhere you touch if you get a cut, don't you? Other than from a cleanliness perspective of course...

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Offline harleymc

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Re: Condition
« Reply #8 on: October 02, 2018, 12:02:14 am »
Happy thought  of the day....
The smell of bleach puts me in mind of saunas

 


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