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Author Topic: Just Tested Positive One Month Ago  (Read 1638 times)

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Offline CountryMan256

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Just Tested Positive One Month Ago
« on: September 21, 2018, 08:22:16 am »
Hey everyone, the reason for writing this is I haven't really told anyone but my partner.  The thing that really hurt me the most is that I could have passed it on to him but I didn't.  He tested as soon as I told him.  Tests came back negative and he's testing again later this year.  In our very early time of dating, I did become unfaithful and had a casual encounter with one of previous partners.  I fell horrible about it because that haunts me everyday.  My biggest fears were telling him the truth and losing him but he's actually been the strongest person as of now, that is keeping me grounded.
He gave me a week to grieve but said, "you have one week to  be down...but after that I want nothing but my strong hero back".  I'm not saying that this process is easy but it's very challenging.  As of now my days are up and down but for the most part they are pretty good.  I still work, do the gym thing, and continue my studies for graduate school.  Pray for me peeps and I'll do the same. 

I will be posting more in the future when I really have the time to, this is only a very very very small piece of the information that I will be sharing with you all.

Peace
In the end everything will be ok, just give it time...

Offline JimDublin

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Re: Just Tested Positive One Month Ago
« Reply #1 on: September 21, 2018, 04:16:57 pm »
Hiya

Welcome to the forum, sorry to hear about the diagnosis.
Have you started treatment and how are your labs looking?

Glad to hear you have a supportive partner to help you though the initial shock of being diagnosed.

Quote
In our very early time of dating, I did become unfaithful and had a casual encounter with one of previous partners.  I fell horrible about it because that haunts me everyday 

No point beating yourself up for what has happened, great that your partner has forgiven you?  and wants to move on in the relationship by the sounds of things, Perhaps you should do the same, forgive yourself already and stop letting this haunt you. I suppose in a way its pretty standard for newbies to dwell on things at first, just don't do it for too long as life move on.

Quote
As of now my days are up and down but for the most part they are pretty good.  I still work, do the gym thing, and continue my studies for graduate school.

Things will settle and, good luck with the studies, stay focused.

Jim
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Transmission and Risks:
HIV Transmission and Risks
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline CountryMan256

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Re: Just Tested Positive One Month Ago
« Reply #2 on: September 22, 2018, 06:04:42 am »
Thanks for your response man....Every bit helps.  It's hard when you cannot talk to family, with the fear of being judged or even diminished.
In the end everything will be ok, just give it time...

Offline JimDublin

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Re: Just Tested Positive One Month Ago
« Reply #3 on: September 22, 2018, 06:22:17 am »
You're welcome, and feel free to chat here with people.

To be honest life is filled with judgment, hiv does not change that for me it does not change how to cope with that reality.

To be honest the older I got the less & less I gave a fuck about people's judgment regardless of the topic ;D

BTW have you started treatment? How are your labs results? How is the treatment going for you?

Jim
« Last Edit: September 22, 2018, 06:25:19 am by JimDublin »
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Transmission and Risks:
HIV Transmission and Risks
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline CountryMan256

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Small Breakdown of My Story...
« Reply #4 on: September 22, 2018, 06:44:46 am »
I will try not to be long with this journey, but I have to vent to someone and if I can only touch one individual, I will be relieved. 

Before my introduction, I will say that even if you feel like you can trust your partner, please don't let you guard down where you think that it's ok to not protect yourself.  It's ok to talk about sex and practicing safe-sex because the last thing you want is contracting or even having HIV without knowing so.  I'm not trying to scare anyone or discourage trust, but that's what happened to me and now I would like to briefly share my experience.

May 2018, I had so much on my plate, a new promotion, finals for graduation (college) and my birthday.  Moving forward, there was a small shuffle in my relationship and was challenged to get tested.  I procrastinated and such where I finally bit the bullet and went on my birthday.  A week later I was called by the hospital directly to come back because there was abnormality in my charts.  My heart dropped.....I'll never forget at work, in my office trying not to have a panic attack and finally the doctor said, PLEASE CANCEL YOUR PLANS, YOU SERIOUSLY NEED TO COME IN TODAY...OMG I thought to myself.  They took me to the back room and she said you tested positive for HIV.  At that point I wanted to just break down but me being the So Tough Guy that I am...said, "OK..".  Deep down I was crushed and defeated...and even though it was bad news for me...I was more concerned about the guy that I was so deeply in love with. 

With finals on my mind, oh yeah I almost forgot that it was my great-grandmothers birthday, so I will never forget that day as long as I live.  I waited for about a few weeks to finally get the nerves up to tell my boyfriend.  We never had sex because I told him that I was still waiting on results but deep down I'd already knew.  Please...if you know your status, it's against the law in some states not tell the person you're engaging with sexually.  Instead of having sex I avoided and avoided and avoided. 

Once time came to an end, I had to tell him because not only this news was hurting me it was hurting me even more to not tell him.  I sat down and we talked and I was really crying and he was too.  The fear of him leaving me and knowing that he at risk was creating this atmosphere of anxiety and fear and dishonesty.  After an hour long of talking and crying, we went to the doctor to get him tested.  The results came back the next week and he was NEGATIVE.  MAN I was sooo thrilled !!! 

The one thing about me is though, now I am on Genvoya and my numbers are looking better.  At first my VL was 390,000 and CD4 was like a 38 I think...Now after a month on my meds, VL is 120 and CD4 is at 400.  I never knew about HIV, it wasn't discussed in my family, community and school.  I'm a country man, who didn't start having sex until my early twenties.  Sex education was always considered a taboo and frowned upon in my household.  If you are young and reading this, please don't wait too late to learn and become knowledgeable about this because IT'S REAL.  Don't be like me and wait until it happens to learn about it.

I feel my body getting stronger everyday now, and getting back to normal, and I really am blessed to have a strong partner who is challenging me to get my head back in the game.  I take a day at a time...it's hard sometimes but I know that I will bounce back.  Please add me to your friends list, especially if you're going through something like this, I've learned that if you talk more about it...I won't be too hard. 

Peace and Blessings. 
In the end everything will be ok, just give it time...

Offline CaveyUK

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Re: Small Breakdown of My Story...
« Reply #5 on: September 22, 2018, 06:57:46 am »
Thanks for sharing, and it's always good for others to read who are newly diagnosed.

I say this like a broken record, but in modern times - with modern meds, HIV is not a condition that anyone needs to be afraid of and folk who are diagnosed can live long, healthy and happy lives. It's always humbling to think how different things were just a few short decades ago and how many lost their life through this virus, but I'm always grateful for the scientific advances we have seen over time and how I am benefiting from all the tireless work of people in those early days.

The good news for you is that things will keep getting better and better, until HIV is merely just a tiny aspect of your day-to-day life. Keep up the positive attitude!
HIV - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read more about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
You can read more about PEP and PrEP here:
PEP and PrEP

Offline CountryMan256

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Re: Small Breakdown of My Story...
« Reply #6 on: September 22, 2018, 07:02:48 am »
Thanks Cavey, it always feel good to hear good things from others.
In the end everything will be ok, just give it time...

Offline JimDublin

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Re: Just Tested Positive One Month Ago
« Reply #7 on: September 22, 2018, 07:56:23 am »
Hiya

Quote
At first my VL was 390,000 and CD4 was like a 38 I think...Now after a month on my meds, VL is 120 and CD4 is at 400.

Glad to hear you are doing well with treatment, early days being newly diagnosed   give yourself time to adjust to the idea, things will settle in and the meds will suppress the virus.

Quote
Please...if you know your status, it's against the law in some states not tell the person you're engaging with sexually.  Instead of having sex I avoided and avoided and avoided. 

I think that might be a wider topic of bad HIV laws, but as its your introduction thread ill keep it short and say besides the scaremongering freakish headline from time to time, the truth is forward transmission of HIV is mostly from people who are simply unaware of their true status, not people who know they are living with HIV.

Jim

BTW - We move your threads and merged them into this section "I just tested positive".
« Last Edit: September 22, 2018, 08:03:29 am by JimDublin »
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Transmission and Risks:
HIV Transmission and Risks
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline JosephP

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  • Keep looking FORWARD... Dx'd 8/10/2013...
Re: Just Tested Positive One Month Ago
« Reply #8 on: September 24, 2018, 11:07:59 pm »
You are on the path to undetectability! It is difficult at the beginning and it hurts. It hurts not being able to openly discuss it.. My first labs were CD4 198 and VL 73,000. Just barely below the threshold of 200 or 'Aids'... I am UD now (and have been since Jan 2014 or three months after starting on Stribild) My CD4 count is 800+ and I feel great... You will too soon. Genvoya is a superb medication with none of very little side effects. But as Jim said before (maybe it wasn't Jim!) why worry about the side effects! Worry about the primary effect.. Life! Keep well and take your meds religiously!  ;) ;)
We are all dealing with this. And we will live long and productive lives!! AND, yes the Lord is my shepherd. Life is good... And thanks for the meds!

Offline CountryMan256

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Re: Just Tested Positive One Month Ago
« Reply #9 on: September 25, 2018, 04:43:19 am »
Joseph, thanks for the encouraging words on my new and beginning part of my life.  I really appreciate those kinds words and good luck on ur journey as wel.
In the end everything will be ok, just give it time...

 


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