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Author Topic: Friend has gone ‘off the rails’ with Grindr and A4A  (Read 861 times)

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Offline Irish Eyes

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Friend has gone ‘off the rails’ with Grindr and A4A
« on: May 28, 2018, 07:08:58 am »
So my best friend moved to California from Mexico 4 yrs ago. I’ve known him 21/2yrs. I speak no Spanish and his English is constantly improving (thankfully). Recently perhaps for the last year or so he’s become ‘addicted’ to these damn gay apps and he hooks up at least once a day (if not, 2-3 times). He knows I know but and i think he’s in denial that this is ‘normal’. For the longest time he was the receptive one, now his posting is versatile. (Hes prob been through all the tops and is expanding his horizons).
Needless to say, he has no medical insurance. Is hiv negative isn’t on PrEP. And I’m more concerned for him than he is. He’s 40 and his mindset is if he contracts hiv he contracts hiv. No big deal. He’ll just take a tablet like everyone else.
What do I do ? Where do I direct him.
His English isn’t good enough for me to explain and I can’t explain with the words that i know he will understand in ‘our language’.
Typically if I bring up the subject he’ll listen for a while but as soon as I strike a chord, he’s done, doesn’t want to hear it. Because “lm just his friend”.
I know I’m being overly protective but for a reason.
Do Ineed to setup an intervention or steal his phone lol
He won’t go to this site. Is there a redemption movie on n**flix ?
Talk amongst yourselves, I’ll wait. Thx :-)
I realise by posting here I’m opening a whole can of worms for responses but ideally something positive would be appreciated.....
In anticipation and with bated breath, I shall wait :-)
« Last Edit: May 28, 2018, 07:20:07 am by Irish Eyes »
10/30/13          Exposure
Mid-Nov-Jan    Seroconversion (7-8 rough wks)
12.26.2013      WB dx. HIV+
02.01.2014      OraQuick (result Negative?)
01.31.2014      VL 250700
02.03.2014      CD4  491  26%
02.26.2014      CD4  503  26%
03.05.2014      HLA B6701  not present
03.18.2014      VL 530873 (typical fluctuation)
03.21.2014      Start Stribild
04.14.2014      VL 104 after 24 doses
05.12.2014      VL 129 after 52 doses
06.10.2014      CD4 940 32%
06.11.2014      VL 87
07.22.2014      VL 20
09.23.2014      VL 43
11.26.2014      CD4 1350 33%
01.26.2015.     VL 27
01.26.2015      VL <20
06/03/2015      VL 28
06/03/2015      CD4 1135 42%
12/10/2015      VL 27
12/10/2015      CD4 1111 36% cd8+tcell 1058 34%
06/23/2016      VL 49
06/23/2016      CD4 1255 41% cd8+tcell 882 29%

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Friend has gone ‘off the rails’ with Grindr and A4A
« Reply #1 on: May 28, 2018, 07:42:30 am »
Well I think you know what my comment would be, ill save you from the long version and just give the key words "adult, own business, condoms, healthy sex drive, phase in life, morals over others, etc".

realise by posting here I’m opening a whole can of worms for responses but ideally something positive would be appreciated.....

You mean you would like comments to agree with you  ;D

Look my take on it is HIV is not his only concern or it should not be as with sex things like Hepatitis and super gonorrhea and far easier and serious conditions are going around and risks to him. So all the more reason to practice "safer" sex and reduce risks.

The end of the day all you can do is prehaps make sure he is educated (if he is open to talk about it) regarding safer sex and reducing this risks

The Spanish lessons were recently updated prehaps that can help you with talking topics with him https://www.poz.com/basics/vih-sida-en-espanol

Needless to say, he has no medical insurance
Now I'm not from or based in the US but a thought would be to also prehaps check if he qualifies for free PrEP medication assistance program from the planned parent hood, they say they don't do PEP but PrEP is listed and at the very least maybe they have additional information of leaflets in Spanish for you that you could give him or start a conversation with


Anyhow I am sure others will chime in with Ideas

All the best
« Last Edit: May 28, 2018, 07:45:12 am by JimDublin »
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Offline skeebo1969

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Re: Friend has gone ‘off the rails’ with Grindr and A4A
« Reply #2 on: May 28, 2018, 08:12:43 am »

   To be honest, if he's 40, what could one possibly tell him that would be a revelation? He's already aware of the consequences.
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.


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