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Author Topic: Hookup fear, Some Reassurance.  (Read 1160 times)

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Offline Mattman

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Hookup fear, Some Reassurance.
« on: May 23, 2018, 12:18:52 pm »
 :'( I am a gay male and 23 for most of my sexual experiences I have only done oral sex with getting and receiving and I never swolloed I have only engaged intercourse 3 times twice I was the top with protection of condom use, and the theird time I was the Bottom and my partner used a condom and I still talk to him. I have gotten tested for HIV past all these situaions and always been negative for HIV and all other STDS. However, I am Having a Panic attack because Im scared. On the 21 I met a guy that I am unwire of his status he said he never has sex with a man and I was the first. we engaged oral and then I laid on my back and he was rubbing his Penis on my anus and it went in and he did penetrate me a few times I got all upset and said stop you aren't wherein a condom. He just got out of a devorice because he pressed his sexuality he has 2 kids so I trusted he was not a high risk perosn but I'm stupid because can't take anyones word for it. Anyway that night I drove to the ER and told them what happened so see if I could take PEP. The doctor did a blood test and my results cam back negative so that was peice at mind because it shows my past sexual history. I engaged in Oral sex prior to this test about 3 weeks ago but no ejaculation in the mouth. However, the doctor at the ER said PEP would make me really sick and that Its my call. I went home and though about it and the next day I went to a health clinic that knows a lot about  STDS I told them I wanted PEP and they did a quick rapid test known as (Ora quick) the nurse and the doctor said if it comes back with a faint line don't be worried because it did it 3 times this week to other clients and they did more testing for blood work and they all came back negative. So mine came back with a faint line and I started to freak out and cry. I wonder do you think other viruses I have had could make this rapid test do that? I had mono last summer and I know once you have EBV you have the antibodies for ever and you are a carrier. the doctor sent me to the lab to do 4 genration blood test where they took a ton of blood out of my arm. I have to Waite till Friday to know again for sure, so am scared its going to come back positive. In the mean time the doctor gave me Truvada as PEP alone is that good I heard Truvada should be mixed with other Anti viral drugs ? the Truvada is 200mg/300mg for 30 days. I took Truvada at 19 house last night at 6:00 is that ok I know they said PEP must be started in 48 to 73 hours. So am I doing things right ? :'( I just graduated college and I feel like I'm being self destructive. I just love and appreciate some reassurance.   
« Last Edit: May 23, 2018, 12:29:23 pm by Mattman »

Online Jim Allen

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Re: Hookup fear, Some Reassurance.
« Reply #1 on: May 23, 2018, 12:32:20 pm »
PEP must be started before 72 hours and the sooner the better and some states and clinics only give within 48 hours.  - When did you start your PEP?

Look I am having problems understanding your thread, I get you have been sexually active and recently had unprotected intercourse.

Quote
He just got out of a devorice because he pressed his sexuality he has 2 kids so I trusted he was not a high risk perosn but I'm stupid because can't take anyones word for it.

BTW I have two kids and I am living with HIV, and my marriage ended in recent years . The point to you is HIV can affect anyone, and its not who you do it with its how you do it. Stop putting people in high or low risk buckets as it will end in tears  and start focusing on your own actions and protecting yourself.

Truvada on its own as PEP happens, its actually a combination of two drugs already and normally when available a 3rd is added for PEP. If you are unsure go back and ask.

My advice is finish the PEP course, relax and test 6 weeks and 13 weeks post finishing the PEP and use condoms going forward no exceptions and start thinking about PrEP. Also test for easier to transmit STI's whilst you are at it.

Jim

BTW

Quote
the doctor at the ER said PEP would make me really sick and that Its my call

 ::) what a utter dick head ... If you test positive you will take this + some daily and people living with HIV can live normal healthy lives, that said the options in front of you were simple, take it for 28 days now vs everyday for the rest of your life. Also PreP uses take this daily to prevent HIV and they are not sick all the time either.

Sounds like a lot of spoon fed scaremongering
 
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline Mattman

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Re: Hookup fear, Some Reassurance.
« Reply #2 on: May 23, 2018, 12:46:45 pm »
Im sorry Jim if I offended you :-[. I took the PEP at 19 hours of post exposure and I took the sencond one today this morning.

Online Jim Allen

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Re: Hookup fear, Some Reassurance.
« Reply #3 on: May 23, 2018, 02:34:07 pm »
You did not offend me, I'm jist concerned that you are rating you risk wrong and want to ensure you in the future base your risks on activities rather than presumed or perceived lifestyle.

Look you started PEP within time and its highly effective, so finish the course, stop stressing and test when due.

Jim
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline Mattman

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Re: Hookup fear, Some Reassurance.
« Reply #4 on: October 10, 2020, 07:52:36 pm »
Hello, all I would just like to say thank you for everything you all do in helping others. I would just like to explaine my story because I am a bit afraid. I am a gay male, the other night I engaged in a hookup off Grindr and I do not know of the other mans HIV status although he dose blame to be negtive. In the engagement of the hookup he kissed me for about 2 minutes. Then we had oral sex he sucked me for a few minutes and I sucked him for 2 to 3 minutes not even. However, my concern is the other man had a sex toy called a Fleshlight it is a very popular sex toy for men and it looks like a woman's Vagina. He put the brand name Fleshlight rubber silicon Lub on his penis and inside the toy, he then started to use it on himself for about 2 minutes and then we both got caught up in the moment and he pulled his penis out of the Fleshlight and put it on my penis and began to stroke my penis I know the Fleshlight is not a real human or a real human body part but still worried about this. We did have intercourse I was the bottom in the situation but it was all protected :D. I made him put a condom on in front of me and before we did it I made sure the condom was on right and intact. He did cum in the condom when he pulled out I saw the cum in the tip of the condom and I feel as thought I did the right thing he took the condom off and I watched him do it.

My main worries and concerns are-

Could I have been infected from HIV from him reusing the sex toy/Fleshlight on me and their be some fluids early on in the day or left over in it or some pre-cum in their before he put it on me at that moment and stroked me.

Also I know I protected Anal sex with him but I did use his Lub and put it on my anus so my worry is could the bottle of Lube be infected with HIV and then I touched it and put it inside my anus. Also since he touched the condom with his hands that were greasy with Lube to put the condom on his penis could I of contracted HIV from maybe some pre-cum left over on the condom just before I put his penis in me?

I would really appreciate some thoughts and if I was okay or not.

Thank you. :-*


Online Jim Allen

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Re: Hookup fear, Some Reassurance.
« Reply #5 on: October 10, 2020, 08:16:30 pm »
Hiya,

HIV is fragile and sexually transmitted inside the confines of the human body as in not being exposures outside the body.

The kissing, fleshlight, and getting your penis sucked are not HIV risks. The lube even if it somehow contained HIV, would not be an HIV risk, neither would any HIV from pre-cum be a concern when putting the condom on.

About the intercourse, HIV can't transmit through an intact latex or polyurethane condom. If a condom fails during the act of intercourse it's obvious. There is no reason to be stressing or testing outside of standard routine as long as this obvious issue did not happen.

As for giving a blowjob, as explained the mouth generally lacks route for HIV to infect, and saliva also acts to neutralize HIV by damaging the receptors needed to infect human cells. It's such a minute risk that we don't even recommend specifically testing over it. Just get tested whenever you are next normally due a routine check-up.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid HIV infection:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, every time, no exceptions. Consider starting PrEP as an additional layer of HIV protection going forward

Keep in mind that some sexual practices which may be described as safe in terms of HIV transmission might still pose a risk for acquiring far easier to transmit STI's, so please do get fully tested regularly and at least yearly for all STI's including but not limited to HIV and test more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs

Also note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and the only way of knowing is by testing.

More information on HIV Basics, PEP, TaSP and Transmission can be found through the links in my signature to our POZ pages, this includes information on HIV Testing

Kind regards

Jim

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« Last Edit: October 10, 2020, 08:18:36 pm by Jim Allen »
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

 


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