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Author Topic: Worried about risk  (Read 2945 times)

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Offline Lincolnguy88

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Worried about risk
« on: March 08, 2018, 09:12:02 am »
Hi
16 days ago I had an experience with a transsexual escort. We engaged in oral both ways, rinming both ways and I rubbed my penis against her anus and arse cheeks and she did the same. I know that I definitely did not penetrate but she pushed quite hard against me. I'm quite sure she didn't penetrate but part of me is wondering if she did. I have been for tests for other stds but know I have to wait 2 more weeks to test properly. I can't sleep and constantly feel sick with worry.
 Please can someone advise as to my risk.
Thank you.

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Worried about risk
« Reply #1 on: March 08, 2018, 09:36:49 am »
Hi

If you were penetrated you would have known about it. Sounds like a lot of angst over nothing.

The only thing you mentioned here with any level of HIV risk was given a BJ. Now your mouth has dozens of protein and enzymes that damage the virus and render it unable to infect. Your mouth without damage such as meth mouth simply lacks the cells for HIV to infect.

Its such a near negligible risk we don not recommend testing over it, so there is no need to run test every time you give a blow job.

My advice is to move on with your life, put this behind you. Going forward continue to use condoms for any intercourse and test as normal routine for STI's and HIV at least yearly.

Jim
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Offline Lincolnguy88

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Re: Worried about risk
« Reply #2 on: March 10, 2018, 07:46:20 am »
Thanks for the response.

It is now 18 days since exposure. I have got two pimpels that look to he red and blood filled on my back. I also have a sore on the inside of my cheek.

Thinking back to the encounter I am sure there was no penetration however I'm still worried especially about the above symptoms.

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Worried about risk
« Reply #3 on: March 10, 2018, 07:56:54 am »
Pimples & sores in your mouth have nothing to do with HIV. See a doctor about them and treat it.

You had no real world exposure, no reason to worry or test. Move on with your life

Jim



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Offline Lincolnguy88

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Re: Worried about risk
« Reply #4 on: March 23, 2018, 05:23:03 am »
Hi- I am still very worried. 31 days post exposure now. I had a dry cough for the last week and today I have developed a canker sore in  my bottom front gum. My gums have also bled slightly.  This is really causing me problems. The worry is hard to deal with.

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Worried about risk
« Reply #5 on: March 23, 2018, 05:40:43 am »
Quote
Pimples & sores in your mouth have nothing to do with HIV. See a doctor about them and treat it.

I mean you well but regardless of your hiv status this has nothing to do with hiv.

Also you had no real world exposure, no reason to worry or test.

Move on with your life, use condoms for any intercourse and test out of normal routine at least yearly for STIs & HIV

Jim
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Offline Lincolnguy88

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Re: Worried about risk
« Reply #6 on: November 25, 2018, 07:43:41 am »
I am hoping you can advise me on what risk level I have from an encounter last night.

I met with a transsexual sex worker. We engaged in kissing, mutual masterbation, oral both ways with a condom. Anal both ways with a condom although I donít believe she fully penetrated me as it was painful. I was intoxicated and I believe she put the condoms securely. When I took mine off it was definitely on ok. My main  worry is I canít be 100% sure of any holes and fully secure etc.

I am hoping you can advise on risk? The thought already of waiting 3 months for a conclusive result is painful. Would prep be a good option? I have a beautiful wife and family at home and canít believe I have done this :-(.

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Worried about risk
« Reply #7 on: November 25, 2018, 08:24:51 am »
If condoms fail during intercourse they shred leaving no doubt. The condom did not shred , so no HIV concern and you need to get over it.

Quote
Would prep be a good option?

Taking PrEP as an additional layer of protection so that should you ever have a condom failure you have that additional protection is not a bad idea. Talk to your health care provider on your suitablliy for PrEP.

Quote
I have a beautiful wife

Aha ... If you plan to have or have been engaging in unprotected intercourse with your wife, my risk is assessment of this is although i don't judge couples that decide to engage in unprotected intercourse, as its often based on trust within a relationship, it is a HIV to you !

Trust or faith does not prevent HIV and any unprotected intercourse is simply accepting a possible risk to you of acquiring HIV and a greater risk of easier to transmit STIs.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, every time, no exceptions. Consider PrEP as an additional layer of protection against HIV

Keep in mind that some sexual practices which may be described as Ďsafeí in terms of HIV transmission might still pose a risk for transmission of other STI's, so please do get fully tested regularly and at least yearly for all STI's including but not limited to HIV and test more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs

Also note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and the only way of knowing is by testing.

More information on HIV Basics, PEP, TaSP and Transmission can be found through the links in my signature to our POZ pages, this includes information on HIV Testing

Kind regards

Jim

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Offline Lincolnguy88

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Re: Worried about risk
« Reply #8 on: November 25, 2018, 08:39:33 am »
Hi Jim,
Thanks for your quick reply and thanks for the advice that you and others provide on this site.

To confirm- there is no reason to test on this occasion and looking into prep is not required on this occasion?

I think I understand your point in that the actual risk is having unprotected sex with my wife and not what happened yesterday. I get what your saying but I donít believe I have any worries on that score. That is why Iíve raised this post so quickly to see what I need to do as I could not live with myself Iíd i passed anything to her.

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Worried about risk
« Reply #9 on: November 25, 2018, 08:49:13 am »
Quote
I think I understand your point in that the actual risk is having unprotected sex with my wife and not what happened yesterday. I get what your saying but I donít believe I have any worries on that score.

Well I've fairly warned you and my assessment is it's a risk. It's a common mistake that many members here have made, but up to you.

Quote
To confirm- there is no reason to test on this occasion and looking into prep is not required on this occasion?

Correct, it's was no HIV risk, so no testing required, no PEP "Post Exposure Prophylaxis" required, simply move on with your life.

As for PrEP "Pre-exposure prophylaxis" this is something to consider taking as additional layer of protection going forward as it will also offer a layer of HIV protection from your wife!

Jim
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Offline Lincolnguy88

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Re: Worried about risk
« Reply #10 on: November 26, 2018, 04:19:53 am »
OK thanks Jim. I understand that unprotected sex with partner is a risk in itself and I appreciate that it is based on trust. On that subject, do you think I can have unprotected sex with my wife after this weekends incident or should I wait for a 28 day test to be safe?

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Worried about risk
« Reply #11 on: November 26, 2018, 04:42:03 am »
Quote
this weekends incident

Asked and answered already. You can ask me 50 different ways and the answer will remain the same. I am not sure how to make it more clear?

Quote
Correct, it's was no HIV risk, so no testing required, no PEP "Post Exposure Prophylaxis" required, simply move on with your life.

Perhaps ill just say, if you post about this no-risk weekend scenario again you will be risking a time out from the forum. I am not sure what has you so bothered, guilt perhaps who knows but whatever it is it simply does not equal a HIV concern.

Jim
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Offline Lincolnguy88

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Re: Worried about risk
« Reply #12 on: November 29, 2018, 07:21:36 am »
Hi Jim,

Apologies to bother you again and this will be my last post until I test.

Itís now 5 days since exposure. I have developed a single white blister on the inside of my mouth. Upon researching online it appears to be a canker sore. Could this symptom this early be a sign that maybe the condom broke or slipped and I should be worried ? I have now missed the prep window so this is an added worry.

Thank you

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Worried about risk
« Reply #13 on: November 29, 2018, 07:30:48 am »
Quote
Itís now 5 days since exposure.

You had no exposure 5 days ago, I am not going to "pretend" you did, so banned for 28 days due to excessive posting regarding a no-risk scenario and let me be very clear if you ever do acquire HIV it was certainly not from this incident- End of story.

See your GP regarding whatever you think is wrong with your mouth and treat it.
Continue to use condoms for any intercourse and test out of standard routine like every sexually active adult should at least yearly for easier to transmit STI's & HIV

Jim
« Last Edit: November 29, 2018, 08:13:53 am by JimDublin »
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Offline Lincolnguy88

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Re: Worried about risk
« Reply #14 on: January 10, 2019, 06:45:38 am »
Hi Jim

Sorry to post again. I take on board youíre previous advice and I tested after 26 days and I know as you said I had no wxpoaure I was going to leave it there.

On wed evening I met a transsexual. We engaged in unprotected oral and I was the top with a condom. She ejaculated on my chest.

From what I have read I donít think I was exposed so guess I am posting for reassurance and to see whether I should look at prep as an option.

Thank you

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Worried about risk
« Reply #15 on: January 10, 2019, 07:02:42 am »
Hiya,

Relax already

Getting your penis sucked is no HIV risk whatsoever
Ejaculation on your chest is no HIV risk whatsoever

given a BJ. Now your mouth has dozens of protein and enzymes that damage the virus and render it unable to infect. Your mouth without damage such as meth mouth simply lacks the cells for HIV to infect.

Its such a near negligible risk we don not recommend testing over it, so there is no need to run test every time you give a blow job.

My advice is to move on with your life, put this behind you.

Going forward continue to use condoms for any intercourse, seriously consider PrEP as an additional layer of HIV prevention and test as normal routine for easier to transmit STI's and HIV at least yearly.

Jim
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Offline Lincolnguy88

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Re: Worried about risk
« Reply #16 on: January 10, 2019, 07:47:09 am »
Thanks Jim.

Should I consider prep for this instance. I know it must be used quick  and time is ticking and it is now 36 hours since the event. Should I try and make an appointment ASAP? I am sure th condom was Intact throughout the intercourse.

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Worried about risk
« Reply #17 on: January 10, 2019, 09:12:06 am »
You are confusing "PEP" with "PrEP"
To be clear, nothing you mentioned so far warrants testing, let alone PEP.


PEP stands for post-exposure prophylaxis, (In Case of Emergency). So if you have a risk like unprotected intercourse as example, this is your emergency medication that you start taking no later than 48-72 hours post exposure for about 30 days to prevent a possible HIV infection from taking hold. PEP is highly effective however should not be counted on and safer sex options like correct condom usage & PrEP are preferred

Quote
Post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP): PEP involves taking a short course of ARV drugs, usually for a month, after a high-risk exposure. To be most effective, PEP should be started immediately after possible exposure, waiting no more than 72 hours.

PrEP on the other-hand is Pre-exposure prophylaxis, (Prevention) it a way for people who do not have HIV but who are sexually active to add an additional layer of prevention against acquiring HIV. It means taking a pill every day that contains two medicines (tenofovir and emtricitabine) .

Think of it like this: In your situation PrEP further reduces the risk of acquiring HIV from your partner who you have condom-less intercourse with, reduces any negligible risks you will have from your causal contacts with regards to HIV and in addition provides a layer of protection should you ever have a condom breakage or have condom-less intercourse with a causal encounter as example 

PrEP does not offer any additional protection from other STI's 

Quote
Pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP): PrEP is an HIV prevention tool in which an HIV-negative person takes antiretroviral medication to reduce the risk of contracting HIV. Currently, the available form of PrEP entails taking the pill Truvada, which is made of two drugsótenofovir and emtricitabine. When these meds build up in the human body, they can stop HIV from replicating and establishing an infection. PrEP was approved in 2012 by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) with the requirement that it be used every day, even during periods of minimal or low-risk sexual activity. Future studies are exploring intermittent dosing strategies (for example, using PrEP only during high-risk periods).

https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/pep-prep
« Last Edit: January 10, 2019, 09:14:23 am by JimDublin »
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Offline Lincolnguy88

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Re: Worried about risk
« Reply #18 on: January 10, 2019, 09:44:40 am »
Hi Jim.
Thanks again for coming back to me and thanks again for the service you provide.

I appreciate you coming back to me and as you say this encounter does not warrent prep then I will leave it but will still test at 28 days for piece of mind. I still have anxiety that the comdom may have broken or I am one of the few % that has caught from oral.

I need to stop having these encounters as even taking the correct precautions I find the stress and anxiety difficult to live with. Despite your assurances which I appreciate  I will still be panicked until I am able to test and it causes strain to my relationship.

Thank you

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Re: Worried about risk
« Reply #19 on: January 10, 2019, 09:49:42 am »
Hiya

If the condom broke you would have known about it.

I think if you keep having what I would consider irrational fears, than PrEP might give you some peace of mind for the future, otherwise and I don't say this to be harsh but counselling/face to face therapy to help you cope with your thoughts.

Running out and panicking & testing every-time the wind blows so to speak is simply not actually coping or a healthy/sustainable coping strategy 

Jim

 
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Offline Lincolnguy88

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Re: Worried about risk
« Reply #20 on: January 10, 2019, 12:49:28 pm »
So to confirm -
I do not need to test?
I do not need to see a provider for PEP?
I should consider getting Prep or just not having any encounters at all because of the mental side of things.
Should I not have sex with my partner for 28 days just in case?

Apologies in advance Iím just trying to be rational and final in my post. This will be the last post from me. Thank you.

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Worried about risk
« Reply #21 on: January 10, 2019, 01:13:56 pm »
Quote
I do not need to test?
I do not need to see a provider for PEP?
I should consider getting Prep

Correct

Quote
just not having any encounters at all because of the mental side of things.

Up-to-you

Quote
Should I not have sex with my partner for 28 days just in case?

We have been over the partner thing before, nobody here is going to say unprotected intercourse is safe - Not going to happen, so what you do do or don't do with the partner is up to the two of you.

If you plan to have or have been engaging in unprotected intercourse with your wife, my risk is assessment of this is although i don't judge couples that decide to engage in unprotected intercourse, as its often based on trust within a relationship, it is a HIV to you !

Trust or faith does not prevent HIV and any unprotected intercourse is simply accepting a possible risk to you of acquiring HIV and a greater risk of easier to transmit STIs.

You are both adults, she is an adult and if she has sex with you she accepts the risk just like you do for yourself when having sex with her.


Quote
Apologies in advance Iím just trying to be rational and final in my post.

You're welcome.

Jim

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Offline Lincolnguy88

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Re: Worried about risk
« Reply #22 on: March 13, 2019, 03:47:10 am »
Hi
Sorry to bother you. Last Thursday (6 days ago) I met a girl (CSW). She gave me a blowjob for a very short period of time. I didnt have full sex with her. I believed this was a low risk exposure. However 3 days afterwards I developed very bad you symptoms and 5 days after (yesterday and today);I have developed a rash on my chest. I know these are both symptoms of exposure. Can they show this quickly normally? I believe the girl falls into high risk category (where she was from and drug user) which is making me even more worried.

Thank you for your help.

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Worried about risk
« Reply #23 on: March 13, 2019, 04:07:24 am »
Her personal risk category is irreverent, see although HIV disproportionately in some regions affects people from certain groups, HIV can affect anyone regardless of Class, Wealth, Social standing, Sexual orientation, Race, Ethnicity, Gender or Age. HIV is simply a virus that affects all walks of life, nothing more than that.

So at the end of the day your risk is not from who you do it with. Its all about your own behavior; What you do and how you do it that is a HIV risk or not.

Regarding this encounter, let me correct you there, this is not a "low" HIV risk activity  its simply "no" HIV risk.

Getting your penis sucked is not a HIV risk, saliva is not infectious, it also contains over a dozen elements that neutralize HIV. It lacks exposure and the conditions required, let me put it this way to you, after nearly 40 years of the HIV pandemic in terms of BJ's there hasnít been a single documented case of HIV transmission to an insertive partner (the person being "sucked") and you will not be the worlds first.

The symptoms you mentioned could be anything or nothing at all, one thing we do know is its not HIV from this encounter that much is certain. See a doctor and treat whatever is making you sick and I hope you feel better soon.

Best, Jim

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