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Author Topic: anal fingering and masturbation  (Read 4058 times)

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Offline jawser

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anal fingering and masturbation
« on: September 17, 2017, 07:16:48 am »
Hello,

On Aug 29 I had a date with a bisexual guy I met on a gay dating site. We went to his place, took our clothes off and started kissing. Before we took any further steps, I said it was 8 years ago I dated a guy (also  I am bisexual), that I tested 2 years ago hivnegative and that I was scared for hiv infection and other std's.
We were naked on the bed and he fingered my anus. First without lubricans, then with a bit a his saliva. I can't remember if he had precum on his finger(s) too, only that I had precum. I wanted to suck him off with a condom, but the condom didn't fit and so I didn't suck him. I remember during the kissing and fingering, he used a handkerchief for wiping his hands off. Was it  a clean handkerchief? I don't know. He also gave me a blowjob without condom, I know he had precum from me in his mouth.
Then we stood up, I behind him and gave him a handjob. I think he did the last bit till he came. He wiped his hands off the same handkerchief. Afterwards we went to the bathroom, he stood behind me and gave me handjob too till I came.
Before I went home, I told him again that I was scared for std's. He answered he too because he has a wife and 2 kids, and doesn't take cum in mouth and no anal intercourse without condom.
The day after we both were on the gay chatsite but I had a different alias and he didn't know it was me. I asked him if he had any form of unsafe sex and told me he had once cum in his mouth. His answer made me worried a lot and got me thinking. Day after I had terrible headache, then 3rd day bit sore throat and  itchy rash (looks like acne) on chest, upper legs and bit on back. Headache was just 1 day, throat only 2 days and rash increased a bit and diminished two days ago but still itchy. But until now no fever. Now a sore throat on day 11 but not sure if lymfnodes in throat are a bit swollen. After 2,5 weeks still itchy skin but no further increase in acne but I notice very very tiny petechiae. My glans penis looks a little bit red but no pain.
Luckily I have his phone number and he even told me where he works and lives. He told the thruth but on the gay chat he worried me with the answer of cum in his mouth. Then again on the chat he said he uses condom for anal intercourse. He blowed me without condom, so that's a risk too isn't it? I was stupid to let him suck me off without. I phoned him couple days after and asked him again for his hiv status. He said the same that he was scared too and tested 4 months ago and test came back negative. But a lot can happen in 4 months of course.

Question 1: Could I have hiv when he fingered me, even if there was precum on his finger(s)? I can't remember if his finger was deep in my anus.
Question 2: Could the handkerchief be source of transmission for hiv?
Question 3: If he is in the window period (don't know when he had cum in his mouth), was I at risk for the things we did?
Question 4: Was the handjob dangerous? Because before he used the handkerchief.
Question 5: Was the blowjob (I didn't cum in his mouth), a risk for me? He was neat, very nice teeth, nice clothes but that doesn't mean nothing of course. No appearance of skin disorders or anything else.

Regards,

Jawser

Offline Ptrk3

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Re: anal fingering and masturbation
« Reply #1 on: September 17, 2017, 08:27:17 am »
Relax, none of these activities are risks for HIV infection. 

Answers to your questions:

1)  No, fingering is not risk for HIV infection.  The HIV is fragile and does not survive outside the body (if there were HIV-infected "pre-cum" on his finger).

Access this link to read and learn about how the HIV is transmitted:

https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/hiv-transmission-risks

2)  No, the HIV is fragile and does not survive outside the body so would not survive on a handkerchief.

3)  No, any "precum" in his mouth would not have active HIV in it in any viable way that it could be a threat to you.

4)  No, handjobs and handkerchiefs are not modes of transmission for the HIV.

5)  Receiving unprotected oral sex is not a risk for HIV infection but could be a risk for other STD's/STI's.

In summary, you are not at risk of HIV infections from the activities you have described in your post.
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Offline jawser

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Re: anal fingering and masturbation
« Reply #2 on: September 20, 2017, 07:35:53 am »
Hello,

I see on official prevention sites that hiv-infected precum could transmit hiv through fingering. On other sites the opposite. It is hard to believe who is right and wrong. I am so anxious. I didn't pay too much attention on his fingers. But if there was precum (or cum) on his fingers, could it not infect me through the mucous membrane of my anus? Or by he caused a little wound with his finger on my anus and was there a chance of transmission?
Also some sites say precum can have a high viral load. I have also read that there hasn't been an infection with hiv through fingering but I think that is hard to verify. Very strange that I have still itchy skin that began 3rd day and still continues. Symptoms are different from person to person and that is not very reliable either but still. Most hiv infected don't (1 at 3) show symptoms, so that worries me too.

Hope that my anxiety is unfounded.

Greetings,

Jawser

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: anal fingering and masturbation
« Reply #3 on: September 20, 2017, 07:44:20 am »
HIV once exposed outside the human body it is no longer infectious. The receptors that HIV uses to infect other cells are exposed and corrode leaving them unable to infect.

This is backed up by the fact that after 40 years nobody has been infected this way or from fingering. Nobody!

I can't help that you are reading outdated or mistaken sites or reading things out of context thus fuelling your irrational fear. We can't address that issue here, other sites are free to say whatever they like, if you look long enough a few sites and people claim aliens did it.  :o  The fact they can publish it on a website does not make it the truth.

All we can do is provide an assessment based on facts, not fears. That assessment is you had no risk and you need to move on with your life, there is nothing more we can do for you here.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, every time, no exceptions.

Keep in mind that some sexual practices which may be described as ‘safe’ in terms of HIV transmission might still pose a risk for transmission of other STI's, so please do get fully tested regularly and at least yearly for all STI's including but not limited to HIV and test more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs

Also note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and the only way of knowing is by testing.

More information on HIV Basics, PEP, TaSP and Transmission can be found through the links in my signature to our POZ pages, this includes information on HIV Testing

Kind regards

Jim

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Edit spelling.

« Last Edit: September 20, 2017, 08:07:28 am by JimDublin »
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Offline jawser

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Re: anal fingering and masturbation
« Reply #4 on: September 20, 2017, 08:10:29 am »
Thank you very much Jim for the reassurance. I will certainly get tested for sti's. Glad there is this kind of support.

Greetings

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: anal fingering and masturbation
« Reply #5 on: September 20, 2017, 02:35:39 pm »
You're welcome.
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Offline jawser

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Re: anal fingering and masturbation
« Reply #6 on: July 19, 2019, 01:08:47 pm »
Hello,

I had yesterday sexual intercourse with a top. He put on condom and used lube. I think  he let the air out of condom, can't say for sure. Then he tried to penetrate but without succes. Then we tried  a different position and with same condom on he penetrated me. But after  approximately  minutes he ejaculated. I am also not sure if he ejaculated when he was inside me or when pulling out. It happened so fast. I did see the condom but it was his condom. Expiry date was ok on condom but as it was his therefore I don't fully trust the quality. I am scared I might be infected from this event. We met online and I did ask about his status. He claimed to have always have safe sex, but he asked first to blow him without condom (which I didn't) and the fact that people can lie about their status made me worry too.

Offline jawser

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Re: anal fingering and masturbation
« Reply #7 on: July 19, 2019, 01:26:16 pm »
Hello,

I don't understand this. Same risk as I had before?


Offline Jim Allen

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Re: anal fingering and masturbation
« Reply #8 on: July 19, 2019, 01:32:35 pm »
Hiya,

Sorry to hear that you are stressing about this.  His status, what he does with other people or if he is telling the truth or not is all rather irreverent.

HIV simply can not transmit through an intact latex or polyurethane barrier, when an condom fails during intercourse its shreds leaving no doubt. As long as this obvious issue did not happen there is no reason to panic or stress.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, every time, no exceptions. Consider starting PrEP as an additional layer of HIV protection going forward

Keep in mind that some sexual practices which may be described as ‘safe’ in terms of HIV transmission might still pose a risk for transmission of other STI's, so please do get fully tested regularly and at least yearly for all STI's including but not limited to HIV and test more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs

Also note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and the only way of knowing is by testing.

More information on HIV Basics, PEP, TaSP and Transmission can be found through the links in my signature to our POZ pages, this includes information on HIV Testing

Kind regards

Jim

Please Note.
As a member of the AM I Infected Forum you are required to only post in this one thread no matter how long between visits or the subject matter. You can find this thread by going to your profile and selecting show own post and it will take you here . It helps us to help you when you keep all your thoughts or questions in one thread and it helps other readers to follow the discussion. Any additional threads will be deleted.



 
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Transmission and Risks:
HIV Transmission and Risks
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: anal fingering and masturbation
« Reply #9 on: July 19, 2019, 01:33:14 pm »
Hello,

I don't understand this. Same risk as I had before?

I merged your threads, see as a member of the AM I Infected Forum you are required to only post in this one thread no matter how long between visits or the subject matter.

Jim
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HIV TasP
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HIV prevention
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PEP and PrEP

Offline jawser

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Re: anal fingering and masturbation
« Reply #10 on: July 19, 2019, 01:39:27 pm »
Hi Jim,

Thanks. I thought I could start a new subject. I am just scared because I have children but I always try to have safe sex. I just don't want to get for my children and I get easily anxiety driven. I'm just human and need for intercourse can be very urgent  :).
Afterwards I get very anxious, also because I don't know the person but I try to apply human knowledge as far as that is possible.
No need for testing and time to move on for me Jim?

Kind Regards

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: anal fingering and masturbation
« Reply #11 on: July 19, 2019, 01:45:04 pm »
Hiya

No need to test specifically over this incident. Relax, Move on with your life.

Quote
I just don't want to get for my children

Not sure if I understand the concern, look I have kids, my HIV is simply not a risk to them, if transmission was somehow your concern. Its not transmitted through day to day contact situations.

Jim
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Offline jawser

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Re: anal fingering and masturbation
« Reply #12 on: July 20, 2019, 11:31:35 am »
Jim,

Can you have symptoms if it occured from last Thursday?

Kind Regards

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: anal fingering and masturbation
« Reply #13 on: July 20, 2019, 01:57:25 pm »
No, and on top of that your left testicle could fall off to be direct about it, it's not HIV from this incident. Understand?

Now if you are feeling unwell, I'm sorry to hear that and, hope you feel better soon, go see your GP and, let them treat whatever is making you sick.

Jim
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HIV prevention
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PEP and PrEP

Offline jawser

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Re: anal fingering and masturbation
« Reply #14 on: July 20, 2019, 05:48:21 pm »
Thanks Jim, you reassured me once again.

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: anal fingering and masturbation
« Reply #15 on: July 20, 2019, 05:49:28 pm »
You're welcome
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
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Offline jawser

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Re: anal fingering and masturbation
« Reply #16 on: July 21, 2019, 12:22:33 pm »
Hi,

I just want to know something to keep in mind for the future. When a condom fails, it is said that's obvious. Does it always shred or not? When a condoms fails and the erection isn't very hard anymore, does it cause shredding? Can't the sperm slowly drip out?

Thanks in advance

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: anal fingering and masturbation
« Reply #17 on: July 21, 2019, 12:48:39 pm »
Hiya

During the act of intercourse, it shreds, being a tad soft at some point is not going to change this. Seriously no need to be overthinking this one!

Continue to use condoms for intercourse and, for everything else & out of standard routine test at least yearly. Consider PrEP as an additional layer of prevention if you are concerned.

Quote
HIV simply can not transmit through an intact latex or polyurethane barrier, when a condom fails during intercourse its shreds leaving no doubt. As long as this obvious issue did not happen there is no reason to panic or stress.
« Last Edit: July 21, 2019, 12:55:22 pm by Jim Allen »
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Offline jawser

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Re: anal fingering and masturbation
« Reply #18 on: August 15, 2019, 02:02:27 pm »
Hello,

I have a question about symptoms on early hiv infection. Can bell's palsy occur approximately 2 to 3 weeks after being infected without any other symptoms?

Kind regards

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: anal fingering and masturbation
« Reply #19 on: August 15, 2019, 04:51:44 pm »
No. Did the doctor diagnose Bell's palsy? 

Why are you asking about HIV symptoms, did you have a risk for HIV?
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Offline jawser

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Re: anal fingering and masturbation
« Reply #20 on: August 15, 2019, 06:02:00 pm »
Yes, bell's palsy degree 1 which means only numbness on 1 side of my face but it's persistent for about 3 weeks now. Multiple sclerosis isn't completely ruled out because I didn't have MRI yet. But family doctor said it was most likely Bell's. I read that Bell's is an symptom which occurs in all stages of hiv infected people and that if you have this HIV testing should be done. It can also occur through HIV medication.
I had protected anal sex with 2 males  on different days approximately 1 month ago with 2 or 3 days between, once I was bottom and then top. I already posted my risk when I was bottom and I was told I had no risk but maybe there was semen on his fingers and he touched my penis afterwards . Not sure because can't remember well that last event. Other guy had syfilis before but was cured from it and he stated he had no hiv and again protected. Syfilis could give Bell's too. I had couple of weeks ago sex with 2 females, also protected but when pulling off condom I think some vaginal fluid came into my urethra.

Yesterday I did HIV selftest (CE labeled) after 27 days from 1st event. I know that p24 antigen isn't included in selftest and maybe waste of money because testing only antibodies now is too soon. Selftest came back negative. I also know that I have HIV anxiety but I feel tiny bit muscle pain in right arm from lifting practically nothing, slighty sore throat, light headaches which last only 5 minutes and the beginning of a cold since 2 days. Symptoms are not stress or anxiety driven. I based on scientific literature what the causes could be for MS and Bell's. Mostly viral cause, especially HIV.

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: anal fingering and masturbation
« Reply #21 on: August 15, 2019, 06:09:57 pm »
Hiya

It's normally a trapped nerve or nerve damage and, has nothing to do with HIV from the events posted here.

Fluids on someone's fingers or touching vaginal fluid exposure outside the confines of the human body are also not HIV concerns, keep working with your doctor on treating what is making you sick however unless you have had other encounters with real risks to discuss continued posting about it or in relation to no HIV risk events is going to lead to a ban.

Jim
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Offline jawser

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Re: anal fingering and masturbation
« Reply #22 on: August 15, 2019, 06:17:57 pm »
Family doctor prescibed prednisolone but Bell's doesn't get worse. Normally I can't take this due to eye condition but doctor said Bell's has priority. Bell's can go away on its own and I have dilemma to take or not. Doctor was 95% sure because he doesn't have equipment to test.

 I will no more post events that were not risky for hiv. Just anxiety driven, very sorry. Believe me, Bell's is very strange feeling and I just have degree 1. One want an explanation and my explanation was hiv due to my sexual encounters which were the only ones that happened past month and nothing else.

And you were spot on Jim with Bell's. And thanks again.

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: anal fingering and masturbation
« Reply #23 on: August 15, 2019, 06:39:09 pm »
Hiya

I stubbed my toe this morning and nearly lost my balance, I did not stress afterwards that it's the initial noticeable symptom in some cases for Creutzfeldt-Jakob's or perhaps an incurable Brain tumour. No like most people I have toes & a working nervous system and, we end up bumping them from time to time.

If the doctor prescribed prednisolone I suggest you take it as directed. Please don't post about this again, I mean it. I don't know what has triggered this continued HIV fear but If you keep having so much fear about HIV I would suggest speaking to a therapist to help you cope with your thoughts.

Finally, use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, every time, no exceptions. Consider starting PrEP as an additional layer of HIV protection going forward and test out of routine at least yearly for STI's & HIV like everyone should.
« Last Edit: August 15, 2019, 07:05:11 pm by Jim Allen »
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Offline jawser

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Re: anal fingering and masturbation
« Reply #24 on: September 15, 2019, 08:51:12 am »
Hi,

Jim, I posted before that I had numb feeling in face and thought it was HIV related. It wasn't Bell's palsy but latent hyperventilation. Dr said it is harmless but indeed a weird feeling.

I am working on my anxiety for hiv but it doesn't go away bi overnight. The thing is also that I am addicted to sex. That makes it so hard for me to fully enjoy sex.

On 31 August I went to csw and we had intercourse. Normally I ask everytime about their status, but this time I didn't. She used a condom to give oral and few minutes after we had vaginal intercourse with same condom. I pulled out and noticed that condom was bit hard to remove because it felt sticky but didn't se condom was broken. I was thinking if penis wasn't fully erected maybe condom was broken anyway and that's why it felt so sticky and bit hard to remove.
Couple days back I contacted her with text message to ask about her status. I asked "Do you have hiv or not?" She said yes. I was a bit frozen by anxiety. We texted further and she thought I meant I was talking about toys. There is a language barrier but still. The day after she texted me that she is always safe and uses everytime condom and that she takes care for herself. I don't know what to believe. And she doesn't receive at same address too. But apparently some csw move regularly. She used 2 different phone numbers too text me too and the other number was from another csw. I can't clearly know who texted me but she answered that she has 2 numbers. She just isn't reliable I think.

After 10 days I had sore throat, swollen lymph node and muscle pain but no fever. I went to doctor and she told me that it was faryngitis but I didn't want to talk about my visit to csw. I asked for duo test and negative but too early I know although p24 can be detected after 10 days.

1) Could condom be broken that it wouldn't be that obvious?
2) Are symptoms noticeable after 7 to 10 days?
3) I have about 5 bumps, pimples on my left arm too and some are itching very hard.
4) CSW is probably from Latin America or Spain and maybe HIV+, so chance of getting infected?

Btw, still working on my anxiety and posting helps me a lot.

Kind regards

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: anal fingering and masturbation
« Reply #25 on: September 15, 2019, 09:04:26 am »
Hiya

Her HiV status is totally irrelevant and none of your business.

Working on the anxiety, glad to hear it but to be blunt if you keep having irrational thoughts & behavior towards others due to your fears or simply having fears evertime you have sex you should be speaking to a qualified mental health therapist.

1) Asked & answered previously already

You had intercourse, used a condom and HIV can't transmit through an intact condom. When condoms fail during the act of intercourse it would be obvious so as long as this did not happen move on with your life

2)3)4) irrelevant

No need for drama, move on with your life, keep using condoms for any intercourse and test out of standard routine at least yearly for HIV and far easier to aquire STI's
« Last Edit: September 15, 2019, 09:07:49 am by Jim Allen »
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Transmission and Risks:
HIV Transmission and Risks
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline jawser

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Re: anal fingering and masturbation
« Reply #26 on: September 15, 2019, 09:17:29 am »
Hi,

I know an intact condom is not a risk. But how can you be sure that it was intact? Condom felt so sticky and hard to remove, so maybe there was  a tiny hole in it and came her vaginal fluid in my urethra?

Also timing of my faryngitis came inconvenient. Should I get tested over this you think? And what kind of symptoms should I experience then?

Maybe seeking professional help for my anxiety would not be a bad idea. I just can't live a monk either.

Kind regards


Offline Jim Allen

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Re: anal fingering and masturbation
« Reply #27 on: September 15, 2019, 09:32:16 am »
Hiya

Your left testicle could fall off it's not going to be relevant to your risk assessment.

Condoms shred when they fail during the act of intercourse as in totally bust/torn hence the statement "obvious". Now as long this obvious issue did not happen there is no logical reason for concern and you need to learn to cope with your fears.  Tiny holes generally belong to myths & paranoia.

I wish you well but this continued paranoid posting can't continue, if you do it will lead to a ban as you have been warned before. I recommend you speak to a therapist to help you with your paranoia/Anxiety
« Last Edit: September 15, 2019, 09:41:14 am by Jim Allen »
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Transmission and Risks:
HIV Transmission and Risks
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline jawser

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Re: anal fingering and masturbation
« Reply #28 on: September 15, 2019, 09:36:05 am »
Hi Jim,

Thank you again. I know I can't continue posting but it helps me greatly. You helped me again with information and with reassurance.

Also no need to test from this event I presume?

Kind regards

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: anal fingering and masturbation
« Reply #29 on: September 15, 2019, 09:36:59 am »
Asked and answered.

Quote
No need for drama, move on with your life, keep using condoms for any intercourse and test out of standard routine at least yearly for HIV and far easier to aquire STI's

28 day ban to encourage you to speak to a therapist
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Transmission and Risks:
HIV Transmission and Risks
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

 


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