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Author Topic: The first anniversary of my diagnosis  (Read 1601 times)

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Offline Matland

  • Member
  • Posts: 74
The first anniversary of my diagnosis
« on: April 29, 2017, 04:33:31 pm »
Hello everyone

I was planning to write here about my one year long journey with HIV and finally i found an opportunity to do that.

Actually before my diagnosis i remember how bad my life was. I was living alone and i wasnt cleaning up, my mum was coming to do my housework, i wasnt cooking and i was yelling at people at work and i was ready to fight for a ridiculous reason. I think i had all the signs that shows i was in depression. Though i used to take depression pills before, i was denying to start it once again.

After these mental signs which indicates that something was going wrong, i realized that my body is trying to say something. Common signs started to show up like getting wet, lymph node swollen, muscle pain etc.

I was guessing that might be HIV but i must confess i was afraid to be checked. And oneday (18th of April 2016) i went to a private hospital, paid a fortune to get next generation hiv test. Well, i didnt wait the results. I thought they would call me immediately if it was something wrong. They didnt. And then i thought Ok take a breath. two days later i wondered the results and wanted to see negative myself. I called them and they said my result was positive. well i wrote the rest of the story here before so i will skip that part.

And after many tests and checks my doctor decided to start with Stribild. It was the newest last year in Turkey. Now, thankfully we have truimeq as well.

For the first two weeks i had a slight dizziness and i felt a slight pain on my kidney area in my body. But afterwards they disappeared. I think it was an adjustment period. After that I havent experienced any other side effect so far.

Unfortunately i gained weight and i am trying to balance it in these days. I dunno if i can do it. but hope dies last :)

The big change happenned in my perspective of life. I am looking to life from a different angle. I realised that ''Hey, why should i tire myself out for extra money to have better standards (i already have), for being jealous about other peoples' happiness which i didnt have before? in other words i asked myself that why dont i enjoy life?

Being positive made me positive towards to life. Firstly, I moved from my own flat, i decided to spend more time with my family. I teach mathematics and geometry (Well, i love it) to my niece. I am taking care of my little nephews who are 7 and 6. Secondly, I changed my department at work. No one would prefer to work where i work now because they think my new department is useless. Well what i needed was some peace rather than competition. So i am happy for what i did And the popularity of my new department has started to increase. I started to read books which are more related to ''value of being good''. I am trying to touch other peoples' lifes. I save less i donate more. I am having short trips to nature. I try to touch to soil as much as possible. I pray more and i questioned the religion. When i drink a cup of coffee, i try to feel the taste from top to bottom. I quit smoking. I am breathing wow.

Hiv remined me that i am human not a robot. I questioned everything. Why am i here? what is my purpose? Hiv told me that i need money to survive but i dont need it to live. We can be happy but if we are not, we should look at us not blame on the world.

I wish some other way had helpmed to do these things, but i am still happy somehow hiv touched my life and gave a direction which feels me better.
« Last Edit: April 29, 2017, 04:37:09 pm by Matland »

Offline Tonny2

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  • Posts: 2,301
Re: The first anniversary of my diagnosis
« Reply #1 on: April 29, 2017, 09:18:35 pm »

        ojo       Hello my dear friend Matland...congratulations on your first aniversary of this changing life diagnosis...I remember your first post, you were scared as all of us when we get the bad news. I even remember one of your replies to my reply, "you guys say that I'm going to be okay just to make me feel better", and let's just see how far you have come in one year, reading this post, it is a celebration of live...I love to read newly diagnosed people, who decided to fight, nobody said that living with hiv was easy, but we have to lean to live with it in order to keep having a better lifem a happier life, as you mentioned on your post...It makes me so happy to read you and see that hiv has made you a better person, it happened to me too...there is life after a hiv diagnosis, just we have to fight for it...congratulations for stop "burning your money", (smoking)...wishing you more anniversaries, I have 22 anniversaries, you will have even more...now that you are positive, you have to be positive and value life, you are doing just that...PROUD OF YOU MY FRIEND...cyber hug all the way to Turkey...marhaba                                                                                           ojo

Offline harleymc

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,381
Re: The first anniversary of my diagnosis
« Reply #2 on: May 01, 2017, 04:12:03 am »
Hi Matland
 I'm glad life is so much better for you now.

Good work on giving up the smokes.

Offline CaveyUK

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  • Member
  • Posts: 1,644
Re: The first anniversary of my diagnosis
« Reply #3 on: May 01, 2017, 07:38:29 am »
Thanks for the post Matland

I always think the '1yr anniversary' posts are interesting as most times they wind up as fairly positive pieces, telling a story of the horror of diagnosis, through some rocky times and then generally to a more optimistic outlook by the end. I think they are useful for newly diagnosed folks to read for that reason.
HIV - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
You can read more about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
You can read more about PEP and PrEP here:
PEP and PrEP

Offline em

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  • Posts: 624
Re: The first anniversary of my diagnosis
« Reply #4 on: May 01, 2017, 08:08:47 am »
Many more years of peace to you. live well and have long pleasant journey down  the road of life. you have many years ahead of you still enjoy the ride

Offline Wade

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  • Member
  • Posts: 3,447
Re: The first anniversary of my diagnosis
« Reply #5 on: May 01, 2017, 09:21:20 am »
Hi Matland,

You have certainly come a long way !
Thanks for the uplifting post  :)

Hugs, Wade
HIV 101 - Basics
 HIV 101
 You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
 HIV Transmission and Risks
 You can read more about Testing here:
 HIV Testing
 You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
 You can read more about HIV prevention here:
 HIV prevention
 You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
 PEP and PrEP


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