Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
October 22, 2019, 10:54:21 am

Login with username, password and session length


Members
Stats
  • Total Posts: 748400
  • Total Topics: 62763
  • Online Today: 327
  • Online Ever: 1421
  • (August 13, 2016, 05:18:44 am)
Users Online
Users: 5
Guests: 263
Total: 268

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: Uncertainty !  (Read 2921 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Egyptianman

  • Member
  • Posts: 106
  • ...and kept wishing that I could go back in time
Uncertainty !
« on: November 10, 2016, 03:20:58 am »
Hey all forum members...
So after nearly ayear on my diagnosis I'm still mentally not stable ... i struggle every day and turned into acareless person.
I'm here saying that because the only place I feel I'm belonging to is here...no one can understand me.
I can't cope with the idea of being positive... I can't handle this terrible fellings of UNCERTAINTY !
UNCERTAINTY about many things...first not last my health... Every time I went to do my labs i feel terribly anxious that something wrong will happen.
I was akind of very worried man in my whole life... Worrying about everything... I hate UNCERTAINTY in general ... It makes me feel very bad.
I miss those days when i was sleeping peacefully without "what if's.
I was very sociable and having many friends... Now I'm isolting myself in my room... I can't feel alive anymore... My friends still asking what happened?
I can't discolse and i don't know what to say... I barely go outside my home even my work i left it for awhile.
I can't stop thinking... Can't stop living in fear...maybe I'm in despair... Maybe I'm so negative and adrama queen as some members here" thankfully" said about me but that is what I fell.
I found here much support from some members.... They pm me and always asking about me...i love them and wish to meet them someday.... Maybe I'm asking now about coping mechanisms.
I hope i didn't bother anyone.

Offline Expat1

  • Member
  • Posts: 260
Re: Uncertainty !
« Reply #1 on: November 10, 2016, 06:06:20 am »
The mental problems you are having are far more serious then the HIV positive diagnosis.  Seek help from a professional quickly.  Psychologist, social worker, Psychiatrist, counselor. 
In terms of your health this is going to impact it greater than HIV which is a virus and by taking one or two pills a day can be kept in check for the rest of your life.
Good luck on finding the help you need.

Offline Egyptianman

  • Member
  • Posts: 106
  • ...and kept wishing that I could go back in time
Re: Uncertainty !
« Reply #2 on: November 10, 2016, 06:33:49 am »
In terms of your health this is going to impact it greater than HIV which is a virus and by taking one or two pills a day can be kept in check for the rest of your life.
You know the main problem i think is that i can't shift from "AIDS is adeath sentence" which we all were believing to "I'm living with hiv" mode.
Maybe acultural aspects.... Maybe because of stigma but to be fair it's not only taking one or two pills.
The disease has many aspects in changing our lives otherwise it isn't alife changing event...also it comes with many uncertainties healthwise even with good treatment... Sometimes it complicates the living of many people... Anyway thanks for your response :)

Offline bocker3

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,234
  • You gotta enjoy life......
Re: Uncertainty !
« Reply #3 on: November 10, 2016, 11:53:48 am »
What have you done to address your mental health issues?  You come on here, from time to time, talk about how your diagnosis is a huge struggle to you, but you never say what you are doing to help it get better?
I understand that we live in vastly differently cultures, but I can tell you that my life has not changed all that much since my diagnosis in 2005.  I take more pills every day than before then and I have more doctor appointments than I did before then, but other than that, not much is different. 
I did struggle a bit at first, but I was able to get past that by working with mental health professionals.  If that is at all a possibility for you, then you need to do it.

Please let us know what you are doing to help address this.

Mike
Atripla - Started 12/05
Reyataz/Norvir - Added 6/06
Labs - Pre-Meds
Sep05 T=350/25% VL98,559
Nov05 288/18%  47,564
Current Labs
May2015 969/28% <20

Offline mecch

  • Member
  • Posts: 13,456
  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: Uncertainty !
« Reply #4 on: November 10, 2016, 01:20:25 pm »
Hello Egyptianman.

First of all, you are not the only one to struggle with a diagnosis like this. Also, it doesn't help if your country or culture is a bit hostile about these matters. 

A few years ago I had many conversations with a North African man who simply could not digest the diagnosis and the new "normal".  It really rocked his world view, his identity, and his relationships to the core.

If it is available, you could sure profit from 1) some talk therapy. Not to mention some 2) drugs for anxiety.  If you have always had a challenge with anxiety, its clear the changed identity has made this even more challenging.

Maybe you can find a way to get 1) or 2) --- or 1 and 2.

I can suggest you think about this.  As we go through adulthood, we have many many uncertainties, so living with HIV is just another life fact that can add uncertainty.  Sounds to me you need to talk through "uncertainty" and how to deal with it, with a professional.  So many things are uncertain - its part of the human condition.  Love, health, finances, peace, safety and so on and so on.  NO ONE lives a life free of uncertainty.
 
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline CaveyUK

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 1,635
Re: Uncertainty !
« Reply #5 on: November 10, 2016, 06:08:16 pm »
Not much to add really. I think some sort of professional help is needed.

Uncertainty is just a fact of life. What you don't want to do is look back at your life in your 70s or 80s and realise that you wasted a ton of years worrying about the condition when you could have gone out there and had fun and had a fulfilling life.

It's easy for me to say though, and I know it can be really tough. Thats why I think some sort of counselling would be really helpful.

Hope things calm down for you
HIV - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read more about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
You can read more about PEP and PrEP here:
PEP and PrEP

Offline harleymc

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,258
Re: Uncertainty !
« Reply #6 on: November 10, 2016, 06:09:47 pm »
Your physical health is not an issue, you had the virus before your diagnosis, but now post diagnosis you are being cared for. So your HIV diagnosis is good news.

What is wrong with you is that you have a damaged thought process and a mood disorder.
What are you doing to improve your mental health?

You have clearly identified that you are ruminating, having the same thoughts over and over. "What if....", "It's a catastrophe...", "Bad things always happen to me".

Now you need to recognise that they are thoughts not reality and you need to challenge them.

Try this, and stick with it for a few weeks https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome it's anonymous and free.

Offline Egyptianman

  • Member
  • Posts: 106
  • ...and kept wishing that I could go back in time
Re: Uncertainty !
« Reply #7 on: November 11, 2016, 05:24:31 am »

Please let us know what you are doing to help address this.

Mike
I went to a psychiatrist here who prescribed many meds for anxiety and depression but never address my concerns... I tried to find support groups but people here are always afraid of telling their status... Stigma here sucks... I can't find anyone to share my concerns with and support eachother

Offline Egyptianman

  • Member
  • Posts: 106
  • ...and kept wishing that I could go back in time
Re: Uncertainty !
« Reply #8 on: November 11, 2016, 05:29:27 am »
Hello Egyptianman.

  If you have always had a challenge with anxiety, its clear the changed identity has made this even more challenging.

Maybe you can find a way to get 1) or 2) --- or 1 and 2.

Sounds to me you need to talk through "uncertainty" and how to deal with it, with a professional.  So many things are uncertain - its part of the human condition.  Love, health, finances, peace, safety and so on and so on.  NO ONE lives a life free of uncertainty.
 
Yes i always have achallenge with anxiety issues and really need to talk through uncertainty with anyone not importantly aprofessional...i appreciate your understanding of my concerns and thank you.

Offline Egyptianman

  • Member
  • Posts: 106
  • ...and kept wishing that I could go back in time
Re: Uncertainty !
« Reply #9 on: November 11, 2016, 05:32:21 am »
Not much to add really. I think some sort of professional help is needed.

Uncertainty is just a fact of life. What you don't want to do is look back at your life in your 70s or 80s and realise that you wasted a ton of years worrying about the condition when you could have gone out there and had fun and had a fulfilling life.

It's easy for me to say though, and I know it can be really tough. Thats why I think some sort of counselling would be really helpful.

Hope things calm down for you
Yes it's really tough cavey especially with someone like me :(
I appreciate your help...you were from the first ones i knew here

Offline Egyptianman

  • Member
  • Posts: 106
  • ...and kept wishing that I could go back in time
Re: Uncertainty !
« Reply #10 on: November 11, 2016, 05:34:15 am »
.
You have clearly identified that you are ruminating, having the same thoughts over and over. "What if....", "It's a catastrophe...", "Bad things always happen to me".

Now you need to recognise that they are thoughts not reality and you need to challenge them.

Try this, and stick with it for a few weeks https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome it's anonymous and free.
Thanks alot Harley for the link i will try it :)

Offline CaveyUK

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 1,635
Re: Uncertainty !
« Reply #11 on: November 11, 2016, 04:33:33 pm »
Yes it's really tough cavey especially with someone like me :(
I appreciate your help...you were from the first ones i knew here

No worries mate....I know it's not easy

But don't accept the anxiety - deal with it. With any problem in life it feels much better to deal with it head on and feel empowered. As others have said, this is the problem and not HIV.

Good luck with it all
HIV - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read more about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
You can read more about PEP and PrEP here:
PEP and PrEP

Offline harleymc

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,258
Re: Uncertainty !
« Reply #12 on: November 11, 2016, 09:37:40 pm »
Hi Egyptianman
I have no idea whether moodgym will work for you. I had to do a lot of other things too to finally get my anxiety and depression under control. But moodgym helped me tackle negative thoughts.

The biggest thing I got from moodgym, which uses a type of CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy), was that I was able to challenge my way of thinking, the first step being to identify certain thoughts, as thoughts, not reality. It took a lot of practice.
One of the good things is that you can use it in your own time, behind closed doors.

Other things I used to change my world view and feeling of self worth, were exercise, mindfulness, volunteering for a charity and trying to be thankful for good things in my life.

It won't be easy at first, but none of us have to go through life being miserable.  We are the ones that shape how we see the world.

I wish you all the best.

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2019 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.