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Author Topic: Our wonderful David (Miss P) has left us.  (Read 20925 times)

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Offline Basquo

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Re: Our wonderful David (Miss P) has left us.
« Reply #50 on: November 09, 2015, 09:45:49 pm »
I just sent Mum an email. She'll see it when she has time to herself. I didn't want to catch her in the middle of being the awesome mom she is.

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: Our wonderful David (Miss P) has left us.
« Reply #51 on: November 09, 2015, 10:18:14 pm »


  I still can't believe it.  My heart hangs heavy for all of you who had the privilege of David's friendship.
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline wolfter

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Re: Our wonderful David (Miss P) has left us.
« Reply #52 on: November 10, 2015, 03:50:32 am »
Willy, I read this morning and thought about it all day.  I appreciate your sincerity
Being honest is not wronging others, continuing the dishonesty is.

Offline CallMeSid

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Re: Our wonderful David (Miss P) has left us.
« Reply #53 on: November 10, 2015, 11:01:09 pm »
I'm very shocked and very sad to hear this news.

Miss P was a character and she was generous with her knowledge and insight here in the forums.

I was always impressed with her ability to persevere and muddle through life's difficulties.  I admired her for that.

Rest in Peace, Miss P
07/2006 HIV-negative
06/2007 HIV-positive
07/2007 CD4: 795 (40%), VL: <50
09/2007 CD4: 629 (43%), VL: 895  (~2 weeks after measles/mumps/rubella booster)
12/2007 CD4: 854 (45%), VL: <50
03/2008 CD4: 880 (45%), VL: 151
12/2008 CD4: 943 (46%), VL: 116
05/2009 CD4: 865 (44%)  VL: 107

Offline Buckmark

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Re: Our wonderful David (Miss P) has left us.
« Reply #54 on: November 12, 2015, 11:07:35 am »
It has taken me a while to post about Miss P, because I am so damn angry about it all.  For as much as he liked to be controversial and stir the pot in public, he was very kind and caring one-on-one, and he reached out to and helped many people.  I think that seeming duality was just his nature.  I hate that he was suffering so much, and didn't / wouldn't / couldn't reach out for help, and felt he had no help or hope.  This place, this world, just won't be the same without him.

Henry


"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things:
     One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell.
     The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love."
- Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

Offline BT65

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Re: Our wonderful David (Miss P) has left us.
« Reply #55 on: November 12, 2015, 12:55:02 pm »
Henry, I'm glad you posted that.  Anger was my first reaction.  Jeff texted me as soon as he got the news and I thought someone was playing a cruel joke.  Looking at his obituary is finality.

I went back on my phone to texts from January and every time I was sick or had broken a bone, David had texted me.  Every single time. 

It doesn't matter what I wish would have happened.  We just have to muddle through.  But I'm still pretty pissed.

Betty
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

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Offline ImisstheOldTimes

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Re: Our wonderful David (Miss P) has left us.
« Reply #56 on: November 12, 2015, 01:41:08 pm »
Well I'm an avid contributor to a few of the Off Topic Forum threads, and sadly, I just saw the picture of Ms. P on Willy's Wuppette's thread saying he had passed, and I thought, surely I'm reading that wrong, let me look at the In Memoriam forum, and there it was right on top...so being the nosey person I am, I read all the prior post and continue to cry.  I believe he is the first forum member I had associated with at times in different threads, when I first joined.  I remember his avatar being "Brittany Murphy" like busty woman, and I thought, why she's brave to capture that...(that was before I found out the David was a guy).  He offered condolences to me when my dad passed....just a kind hearted person.

I still remember the days I took to fully ready the Wumpette nutrition thread just to see the humor and competitiveness in it.  Several of us joked about Willy and Ms. P, finding each other in the end and grow old together, the Golden Girls!

I will miss reading about your being "mere blocks" from anything over the top or fabulous! And even though I never met you in person, I still feel (felt) close to many of the members on here.  For all of you who continue to grieve, may your spirits find peace, and encouragement in the memories you have!

Much love to all,
Heidi
Life is a BANQUET, and most poor suckers are starving to death!

                             ~Auntie Mame

Offline Lou-ah-vull

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Re: Our wonderful David (Miss P) has left us.
« Reply #57 on: November 12, 2015, 06:01:38 pm »
I have reflected more and read your eloquent posts.  I have used these "quotes" in our Memorial service at numerous AMGs and they seem very relevant here.  They don't answer our questions (how can they answer them?) but they offer an empowering suggestion:  "we can love those we don't understand even without complete understanding" and "we can still reach out to those who have gone before us even though we are haunted by their memory."  I hope this helps.

“Each one of us here today will at one time in our lives look upon a loved one who is in need and ask the same question: We are willing to help, Lord, but what, if anything, is needed? For it is true we can seldom help those closest to us. Either we don't know what part of ourselves to give or, more often than not, the part we have to give is not wanted. And even more often, we do not have the part that is needed.  And so it is those we live with and should know who elude us. But we can still love them - we can love completely without complete understanding.”
― Norman Maclean, A River Runs Through It and Other Stories

It is those with live with and love and should know who elude us. 
Now nearly all those I loved and did not understand when I was young are dead, but I still reach out to them.
“Like many fly fishermen in western Montana where the summer days are almost Arctic in length, I often do not start fishing until the cool of the evening. Then in the Arctic half-light of the canyon, all existence fades to a being with my soul and memories and the sounds of the Big Blackfoot River and a four-count rhythm and the hope that a fish will rise.
Eventually, all things merge into one, and a river runs through it. The river was cut by the world's great flood and runs over rocks from the basement of time. On some of those rocks are timeless raindrops. Under the rocks are the words, and some of the words are theirs.
I am haunted by waters.”
― Norman Maclean, A River Runs Through It
Diagnosed Oct. 2005
10/05:  367 (26.2%), 24556 VL
01/06:  344 (24.6%), 86299 VL
04/06:  374 (22.0%), 87657 VL
05/06:  Began HAART 05/15/06, Combivir/Kaletra
07/06:  361 (27.8%), 1299 VL
10/06:  454 (32.4%), 55 VL
01/07:  499 (38.4%), UD
02/07:  Switched to Atripla 2/8/07
04/07:  566 (37.7%), UD
08/07:  761 (42.3%), UD
06/08:  659 (47.1%), UD
01/09:  613 (43.8%), UD
07/09:  616 (47.4%), UD
01/10:  530 (44.2%), UD
07/10:  636 (48.9%), UD
01/11:  627 (48.2%), UD
07/11:  840 (52.5%), UD
01/12:  920 (51.1%), UD
07/12:  857 (50.4%), 40
10/12:  UD
01/13:  710 (47.3%), UD
07/13:  886 (49.2%), UD
01/14:  985 (46.9%), UD
06/14:  823 (47.2%), UD
01/15: 1366 (45.2%), UD
07/15: 1134 (50.7%), UD
02/16: 1043 (55.1%), UD
08/16:  746  (55.4%), UD
08/16:  Switch from Atripla to Genvoya

Offline Theyer

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Re: Our wonderful David (Miss P) has left us.
« Reply #58 on: November 13, 2015, 08:49:20 am »
Oh David.
I hope it all makes sense now
Snot & Tears
M
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: Our wonderful David (Miss P) has left us.
« Reply #59 on: November 20, 2015, 12:14:26 am »
I haven't been able to bring myself to log in and deal with this most recent loss to our tribe.  David was one of the first people I communicated with here and he held my hand through many PM's as well as open thread.  I hope wherever his spirit is now he's found solace.

-Trey

Offline wolfter

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Re: Our wonderful David (Miss P) has left us.
« Reply #60 on: November 22, 2015, 09:14:16 pm »
I'm ever so sure many of have him embedded into their consciousness since we heard the news.
Being honest is not wronging others, continuing the dishonesty is.

Offline Theyer

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Re: Our wonderful David (Miss P) has left us.
« Reply #61 on: November 25, 2015, 05:37:59 pm »
Today has been a day when I could not think off much else than David , I know I am not the only one who is still grieving .
Snot & tears
Snot & tears
M
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline BT65

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Re: Our wonderful David (Miss P) has left us.
« Reply #62 on: November 25, 2015, 05:41:21 pm »
Michael, I have him on my mind a lot.  Along with a few other people who are no longer here. It seems like one more death brings up all the other deaths.  At least for me. 

I feel the same way you do Michael.  Love you.
Betty
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

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Offline Joe K

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Re: Our wonderful David (Miss P) has left us.
« Reply #63 on: November 25, 2015, 07:06:14 pm »
It has taken me this long to even consider a reply to this news.  A part of me wants to scream at David on how suicide is the most selfish act in the world.  How could he do that to all of us who cared for him?  Then I thought...

How horrid must the world have seemed to him?... so horrid that he took his own life.  Having lived my life with mental illness, I already knew the answer.  I have walked very close to the line that David chose to cross and I can empathize with the absolute despair and the need to simply make the pain stop.

David, I am so sorry that the darkness overcame you and while I respect your decision as being yours alone, I mourn the result of that decision.

For years, you were the bell-weather of this forum.  Just seeing a post from "Miss P." meant that all was right with the world, at least for that day.  You are possibly the most unique man, that I never got the pleasure of meeting in person.  I'm very angry with you and soon I will forgive myself for that anger... as you did nothing wrong.

Yet another loss of a piece of my heart.

Joe

Offline pozniceguy

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Re: Our wonderful David (Miss P) has left us.
« Reply #64 on: November 28, 2015, 04:06:18 pm »
 . we all make  choices  and  trying to understand the choices  other make   can be a very difficult task...David always seemed to  cherish life had  future plans  and seemed to enjoy  being himself . the few times I met him were  memorable.. and fun to be   there... what a terrible loss to  all ..his  family here  and those who  called him son /brother  and friend in the rest of  the world

RIP  David   we will truly miss you

Nick


remember the good times...honor the past but don't live there
Le stelle la notte sono grandie luminose, nel cuore profondo del Texas

Offline Growler

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Re: Our wonderful David (Miss P) has left us.
« Reply #65 on: December 01, 2015, 04:14:08 am »
Goodbi Sorry Miss P.
G
“If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people.”

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Our wonderful David (Miss P) has left us.
« Reply #66 on: December 27, 2015, 09:43:02 am »
Jane Sowards, Davids mom asked me to share a letter she sent to me. David bought Christmas cards and asked his mother to send them this year for him . I got his card yesterday and in the card I found this heartfelt letter that she asked me to share.


With heavy hearts we send Christmas blessings. On November 1 our son David passed away at the age of 50. He could no longer enjoy his jaunts around historic Philadelphia and only left his apartment to do things he needed to do. On November 14 we celebrated his life at services here in Leesburg with a reception following for his family and friends.
Beautiful flowers in shades of burgundy, sapphire blue, gold, salmon and green highlighted with rosemary and wheat and cinnamon sticks ( to celebrate his love of cooking and food } designed by a high school classmate graced the chapel along with other arrangements of flowers and plants. Friends of David, called and wrote from France, Sweden and Germany, California, New Mexico, New York and Pensilvania and Maryland as well as Virginia. Alan and Traci had family and friends from our local area as well as from out of town and our support group has grown larger with each passing day. Davids friends gathered at our house to talk about the good times and the bad times, to laugh and cry together. We found comfort in getting to know his friends who we had not met before.
Somone shared this quote and its so true “ Grief never ends… but it changes . It’s a passage not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor lack a faith… it is the price of love. “ ( Arthur unknown } We know even in Davids death that he made an impact on the lives of others world wide through his participation in an online forum where he gave help and counsel to others. We know his is in a better place and free of pain and we will see him again. As we clean out his apartment in Philadelphia we are surrounded by Davids friends who are there to offer help and support. We could ask for anything more.
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Offline Jmarksto

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Re: Our wonderful David (Miss P) has left us.
« Reply #67 on: December 29, 2015, 01:57:23 am »
Thank you Jeff.
03/15/12 Negative
06/15/12 Positive
07/11/12 CD4 790          VL 4,000
08/06/12 CD4 816/38%   VL 49,300
08/20/12 Started Complera
11/06/12 CD4   819/41% VL 38
02/11/13 CD4   935/41% VL UD
06/06/13 CD4   816/41% VL UD
10/28/13 CD4 1131/45% VL 25
02/25/14 CD4   792/37% VL UD
07/09/14 CD4 1004/39% VL UD
11/03/14 CD4   711/34% VL UD
03/13/15 CD4   833/36% VL UD
04/??/15 Truvada & Tivicay
06/01/15 CD4 1100/50% VL UD
10/16/15 CD4   826/43% VL UD
??/??/2017 Descov & Tivicay
2017 VL UD, CD4 stable around 850
2018 VL UD, CD4 stable around 850

Offline heartforyou

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Re: Our wonderful David (Miss P) has left us.
« Reply #68 on: December 29, 2015, 04:21:07 am »
May he rest in peace, relieved from his earthen burdens.
Diagnosed in 1987 and still kicking
Kivexa (Epzicom),Tivicay once daily.

Switching to Viramune, Isentress and Emtriva

Happiness is the freedom of breathing fresh air every day.

Offline OneTampa

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Re: Our wonderful David (Miss P) has left us.
« Reply #69 on: December 29, 2015, 08:56:15 am »
Thank you Jeff.

OT
"He is my oldest child. The shy and retiring one over there with the Haitian headdress serving pescaíto frito."

Offline BT65

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Re: Our wonderful David (Miss P) has left us.
« Reply #70 on: December 30, 2015, 05:01:49 am »
Yes, thanks Jeff for sharing that letter with us.  I'm glad she sent you one.  I can't imagine having to sort through your own child's things, it has to be heartbreaking. 

Betty
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

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Offline wolfter

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Re: Our wonderful David (Miss P) has left us.
« Reply #71 on: December 30, 2015, 02:13:28 pm »
every time I attempt to type and speak of MissP, I usually erase it.  David and I had so much in common.  When someone posted a pic of him playing trombone, I stared in awe.  I played this same damn brass instrument while faking the 8th scale. 

David and I had our mutual respect.  And I always believed his knowledge.  He was one of the smartest people I knew.
Being honest is not wronging others, continuing the dishonesty is.

Offline initforlife

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Re: Our wonderful David (Miss P) has left us.
« Reply #72 on: December 30, 2015, 03:56:16 pm »
Thanks Jeff for sharing..  I sure didn't know how to respond at first either. I only knew David a short while from this board and met him briefly in Memphis. but I know he was a kind soul. and every winter when the weather was bad and we were all stuck inside and on the board we could count on him and others to give us a good laugh.  there is no replacing people like him  . Forever in my heart !
sometimes it is best to say nothing at all. then to offend

Offline tednlou2

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Re: Our wonderful David (Miss P) has left us.
« Reply #73 on: December 30, 2015, 04:12:01 pm »
Yes, thanks for sharing this.

Now that time has passed, can we discuss what was going on-- especially from those who had more access to him?  When lifespan issues would come up, David would always say why would you want to live to 80 or 90, if you had many health issues.  So, I figured David may be someone who takes his life-- when that time came.  I did not realize he was already there.

In the forums, he would joke about his foot issues.  He would discuss it seriously.  But, I had no idea the toll it was taking on him.  Was he discussing this with you LTS members, more so than in the other forums?  Or, privately?  Was I just oblivious?  It really makes me wonder, in case there are ever signs with other member friends, friends or family.

When he disappeared from the forums, I figured he was upset over forum politics or just had better things to do with his time.  It never occurred to me he was suicidal. 
Well, not until we asked about him and he responded right away.  I don't know what it was, but that set off an alarm for me.  I don't know why.  It seemed like someone having a very rough time and wanting to hear people still cared about him.  He had not replied to other threads, but responded right away he was still here.  I could be totally wrong about that theory, but that did make me begin to wonder about him.  That's when I sent him a friend request on Facebook-- just a day or two before he took his life.

Did he suffer in how he committed suicide?  That has really been on my mind.  I hope it was quick and he did not suffer.  That really bothers me, thinking he may have left the world suffering more than he already was.  For those who knew him so much better, I can only imagine how you're dealing.  I had many interactions here, some PM's about how he said he found my nude pics and how he was impressed (I still think he found someone else's junk pics) lol, but we never had phone or text messages.  But, I think about him so often.  At special occasions, we go around and toast someone having a rough time or who died.  David was one of mine, besides a friend who also died.  I guess 7 years of us both being on here just about everyday makes you grow fond of members-- even with ones who can make your bp rise on occasion. 

I guess I'm just wondering whether he was so determined, that no one or nothing was going to change it.  Or, whether this was done in deep depression that maybe he would have not done this if not for depression.  Or, the pain was just so much and clinical depression wasn't really the issue.  I suppose clear-headed people can commit suicide, when they see their quality of life is not what they want and they cannot do the things they love to do.  I guess one doesn't have to be in deep depression to make that decision.  It is just confusing because he went to Memphis.  He was not held up in his apt and he traveled.  Did he seem depressed?  In lots of pain?  Did he put on a show all was well?  Was that his goodbye?

Edited for spelling

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Our wonderful David (Miss P) has left us.
« Reply #74 on: December 30, 2015, 04:48:52 pm »
There is many things about the loss of David that are still too raw for me to discuss or go into in a memorial thread. I am more interested in sharing the positive things he added to the forum and remembering how courageously he lived his life than dwelling on how he died.

David was not mentally ill and he didn’t just quit on life, he was a courageous man who was in tremendous pain and has now found peace never to feel pain again.
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Offline BT65

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Re: Our wonderful David (Miss P) has left us.
« Reply #75 on: December 30, 2015, 05:40:32 pm »
I feel the same way Jeff does. I'm not ready to talk about all the dynamics that went into his death.  I don't feel it's essential right now.  David had been a close friend ever since I joined the forums.  I'm happy he is not suffering any longer but of course, like everyone else, will miss him.  But he did life his own way, and he did death his own way and I respect that.

Good call, Jeff.
Betty
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

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Offline tednlou2

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Re: Our wonderful David (Miss P) has left us.
« Reply #76 on: January 01, 2016, 05:13:45 pm »
I figured it would be still too raw for many.  I completely understand that, while also believing suicide is not discussed enough.  And, I suppose maybe there is not much to discuss, except he was in great pain.  Perhaps the only time it is beneficial to discuss is when someone had depression and something could be learned on what to look for and when to intervene, in case they ever see the signs in others they know. 

But, again, I completely understand it being too raw.  Two months is still like yesterday, I know.  And, again, maybe there isn't really anything to learn from this, as far as watching for signs in others.  Severe pain that can't be treated is different from depression, which can often be helped-- to some degree.

I just wanted to clear up that my question about how he died was something I think many always worry about-- that the person they knew did not suffer.  It was not in any way to get every detail or even any details, except to hear he did not suffer.  I think most know that's how I meant that, but wanted to clarify in case. 


Offline Jeff G

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Re: Our wonderful David (Miss P) has left us.
« Reply #77 on: January 01, 2016, 06:32:25 pm »
It’s OK Ted, I always encourage people to talk about anything they want to discuss so if you don’t mind me making a suggestion I will ask if maybe we want to discuss suicide we should start another thread about it. I know I would reply in a thread like that.
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Offline GSOgymrat

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,122
  • HIV+ since 1993. Relentlessly gay.
Re: Our wonderful David (Miss P) has left us.
« Reply #78 on: February 02, 2016, 09:03:25 am »
I've not visited the forums as frequently and just read David died. It's just very sad. The forum has felt more empty lately and now I know why.

Offline tryingtostay

  • Member
  • Posts: 587
Re: Our wonderful David (Miss P) has left us.
« Reply #79 on: February 08, 2016, 06:15:53 pm »
I felt very comfortable talking with Miss P/David.  I just learned about this today.  It put a big hole in my heart when I heard.  I am glad I had to chance to converse with him on here. 

So sorry  :(

Offline joemutt

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,102
Re: Our wonderful David (Miss P) has left us.
« Reply #80 on: February 11, 2016, 08:24:00 am »
Very saddened to learn of the passing of this fabulous man.

Offline mikejh

  • Member
  • Posts: 39
Re: Our wonderful David (Miss P) has left us.
« Reply #81 on: October 12, 2016, 09:19:54 pm »
I spoke to David a few days before, he was sad but ok. Tried to call him the next day but no answer. Have not been on this forum since his tragic death, could not read the various forums without looking for his comments. He and his posts will forever be missed.
CD4   %
22 Sep 06   37     5  Started Atripla
5   Oct 06   82     9
1   Dec 06  258   13
25 Jan  07  263   14
1   May 07  403   18
6   Aug 07  438   22
7   Nov 07  417   19
30 jan   08  310   19
7   May  08  285   20
6   Aug  08  472   27
12  Nov 08  444   26
11  Feb  09 335    19
10  May  09  460  25
Jan 10 575 u/d
Feb 11 590 u/d
June 12 625 u/d
2013 646  u/d
2014 580 u/d
2015 590 u/d
2016 635 u/d
2017 620 u/d change to Genuvia
Jan 2018 580 u/d changed Triumeq
Feb 2019 620 u/d
March 2019 change

Offline OneTampa

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,911
  • "Butterflies are free."
Re: Our wonderful David (Miss P) has left us.
« Reply #82 on: November 01, 2018, 10:59:03 pm »
Now 3 Years....



OT
"He is my oldest child. The shy and retiring one over there with the Haitian headdress serving pescaíto frito."

Offline Ptrk3

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 2,646
Re: Our wonderful David (Miss P) has left us.
« Reply #83 on: November 01, 2018, 11:45:39 pm »
May he continue to rest in peace and may eternal light shine always upon him.
HIV 101 - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read more about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

 


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