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Author Topic: My partner has just been diagnosed HIV +  (Read 2704 times)

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Offline Sillo

  • New Member
  • Posts: 2
My partner has just been diagnosed HIV +
« on: November 22, 2006, 11:30:47 AM »
How does one deal with this situation......i love my boyfriend very much and he is scared that i am going to leave him.....

Offline thunter34

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,361
  • His name is Carl.
Re: My partner has just been diagnosed HIV +
« Reply #1 on: November 22, 2006, 11:52:39 AM »
Hey, there!

You might want to move this post over the the "I Just Tested Poz" or "Living With HIV" section.  Might get overlooked a bit here.  I think he needs to set up a profile on here along with you.  And doing things liike this, along with a healthy dose of hugs and kisses & stuff, goes a long way towards demonstrating your support.  Maybe seek out some support groups in your area for +/- couples.

I'm sure others will come forth with lots of suggestions.  My best to both of you.  I'm sure you'll do fine.
« Last Edit: November 22, 2006, 12:01:36 PM by thunter34 »
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Eldon

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,664
Re: My partner has just been diagnosed HIV +
« Reply #2 on: November 22, 2006, 06:40:31 PM »
Hello Sillo,

It is unfortunate that your partner has tested positive with HIV. Truly it has presented itself to you and him as a shock. There are a lot of emotions surging right now. It has not been made clear as to the severity of your relationship. However, it is BEST to sit down and discuss the realities that are involved and to initiate some time to educate yourselves on HIV/AIDS.

With this situation, it has been presented to you both as a fork in the road. In fact, there does come a time in all of our lives where we come to a fork in the road on our journey. It is all about "choice" at this point. you will want to do what you can to accept the situation and to understand the impact that this has caused and to communicate this back with your partner.

He needs your support more than anything else right now.

I wish to extend to you a warm WELCOME here at the forums. Here you will find the encouragement, communication, understanding, support, some cries, some laughter, and many of your questions relating to HIV/AIDS answered.

We have a great group of Real People who will listen as well as answer you. We are here to encourage one another and to learn from each other.
Implementing a Positive Mental Attitude will also assist you on your journey in this life as well as a positive impact on your immune system.

Talking to other people helps us see that we are not the only ones with problems. Feel free to come and vent with whatever is on your mind from time-to-time as it is highly therapeutic.

In the interim, you may want to start taking a multi-vitamin, Omega 3 and eat a diet high in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean protein, and low-fat dairy and avoid processed foods, saturated and trans fats. This will also help you maintain a healthy weight.

Exercise at least three times per week for a minimum of 30 minutes.

Make the BEST of each and every Day!

Offline poet

  • Member
  • Posts: 934
  • Poet living and working in Central Maine
Re: My partner has just been diagnosed HIV +
« Reply #3 on: November 22, 2006, 06:56:01 PM »
Hi.  I for one could use a bit more information to be really helpful to you.  My assumption is that you remain negative (having been tested) and that he, alone, has tested positive?  Yes, it's going to be a rough patch for both of you and each of you is going to have his own thread of thinking to do.  He needs/wants to know that you will stay with him (after how much time together?).  You need to think through if this is something that you can handle and if so how you are going to handle it, at the moment and in the future as you and he evolve.  As you will find, there are any number of posts from guys whose partners left them after their diagnosis and any number of posts from guys whose partners never considered doing so.  In fairness to both of you, neither one of you can make a decision until each of you has had the time for some thinking and talking together.  And he, as you or both of you will discover, has lot's of ground to cover about hiv.  Win
Winthrop Smith has published three collections of poetry: Ghetto: From The First Five; The Weigh-In: Collected Poems; Skin Check: New York Poems.  The last was published in December 2006.  He has a work-in-progress underway titled Starting Positions.

Offline RobT

  • Member
  • Posts: 319
Re: My partner has just been diagnosed HIV +
« Reply #4 on: November 22, 2006, 10:52:44 PM »
I am so sorry that ur partner tested pos. I just hope that u both remain in the tangled concept of a +/- relationship. I know that it can happen. There r plenty of ppl here is a +/- that can offer some advice. My partner and I r in one, but we only see eachother every 8 mnths and we have been going strong since the day we met 2 yrs ago. I am sure that u both will find plenty of support here.


Current meds: Atripla
VL: undetectable
CD4: 630

Offline Queen Tokelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,033
  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: My partner has just been diagnosed HIV +
« Reply #5 on: November 23, 2006, 12:35:15 AM »

I'm sorry to hear about your bf becoming poz. As was mentioned, there are plenty here in the same situation, +/- relationship. It can work if you both want it to. How are you dealing with it? Let us know, how it goes.

P.S. Thunter, Sillo did post in Living with HIV...Just thought I would let you know that hun. ;)
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 31,692
Re: My partner has just been diagnosed HIV +
« Reply #6 on: November 23, 2006, 12:19:47 PM »
I'm glad you have found your way here. Like Poet I think you will get more informed responses if you can say more about what is going on -- conversations, etc., as well as some about your relationship in general so we can get a context.

In general I will just say that keeping things as simple and direct as possible -- and being honest about feelings without "dumping" will help you to maintain intimacy in the relationship.

And give this time. Sometimes a false sense of urgency may provoke unneeded or ill-considered actions.

Keep us posted on how it's going.

Andy Velez

Offline richie

  • Member
  • Posts: 69
Re: My partner has just been diagnosed HIV +
« Reply #7 on: November 23, 2006, 12:38:52 PM »
I've been in a +/- relationship for 18 years.  It does work.  For you at this stage, not knowing anything about you or the relationship, all I can say is that you BOTH need to be very clear and vocal about your concerns and issues regarding HIV, and how it could affect your relationship.  Leaving worries and fears buried could be poison -- and this is an emotional and difficult time.  Professional counseling could help tremendously, and why not avail yourselves to it?  It's the commitment that counts -- but you already know relationships take a lot of work and forgiveness!

Offline wellington

  • Member
  • Posts: 509
  • Don't sweat the little things.
Re: My partner has just been diagnosed HIV +
« Reply #8 on: November 23, 2006, 01:16:11 PM »
If you love the dude, don't forget to hug him as much as he can stand. Actions do speak volumes above words. I'm the + in the +/- here.


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