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Author Topic: Boyfriend tested positive  (Read 4692 times)

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Offline Francosays

  • Member
  • Posts: 3
Boyfriend tested positive
« on: November 09, 2014, 01:18:04 pm »
My boyfriend became ill three weeks ago and after visiting the doctor it was determined to be acute hiv infection. We have been together and monogamous for two years--and he has not been with anybody sexually since we became official two years ago. We both tested negative several times so it's difficult to come to terms with especially since I have worked in reproductive health for years. I'm still coming up negative but not trusting the tests anymore. I love him and have accepted the new reality for the most part. We're both starting meds. Not necessarily looking for any specifics responses but wanted to put this out in the world I guess. Thanks everyone.

Offline absopozilutely

  • Member
  • Posts: 411
  • Love to chat/text/talk/encourage!
Re: Boyfriend tested positive
« Reply #1 on: November 09, 2014, 01:44:48 pm »
Were there confirmatory tests done? Western blot? HIV does not take 2 years to present itself, average time to seroconversion is 22 days but can take up to a few months max. The only way to get HIV is anal or vaginal inter course, unprotected. Or IV drug use. Someone can tell me if I'm wrong, and I'm sorry your boyfriend is here, and glad you're ok.
12/18 Infected
2/4 12:22pm tested POZ via ORAquick
2/19 WB Confirmation
2/4-2/19 VL 104,678 CD4 407
3/2 Genotype back, and Started Complera
4/2-CD4 688 38% and VL 1,600
5/1-CD4 592 42% and VL 336
5/22-CD4 732 31% and VL 109 :( STILL NOT UD!
5/31 Switched to Stribild :( I'll miss you Complera!
6/19 CD4 508 35% and VL UD!!!!! Crying at work like a baby.
9/19 CD4 799 46% VL UD yayyyy
5/1/19 CD4 1100 VL still UD.

Offline mecch

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  • Posts: 13,455
  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: Boyfriend tested positive
« Reply #2 on: November 09, 2014, 01:59:51 pm »
Why would someone who has worked in reproductive health for years suddenly not "trust tests". 

Tests in doubt can be retested. That's science.

If your bf is in seroconversion now, then he was infected recently. That's science.

How many tests are you taking?  ("I'm still coming up negative.")  Why are you going on meds? What meds are YOU going to take?

Why is he going on meds already? Has all his blood work been done? Genotype, etc?

I'm really sorry he got this news.  Hope you two figure it all out and get through this difficult period without too much damage.

 
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline Francosays

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  • Posts: 3
Re: Boyfriend tested positive
« Reply #3 on: November 09, 2014, 02:01:34 pm »
Had all confirmations done. I understand how hiv is transmitted but we've gone over and over and he swears he has not cheated on me. And honestly I believe him--Im not really looking for a ton of people to say it's impossible and that he cheated because I've been through all of that. I guess I just wanted to send this out into the world bc I'm waiting to see a therapist and in the mean time I don't feel like any of my friends understand what I'm going through. Thanks :)

Offline zach

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  • Posts: 3,500
Re: Boyfriend tested positive
« Reply #4 on: November 09, 2014, 02:12:29 pm »
it really doesn't matter how or when either of you were infected. only pain down that path

Offline Francosays

  • Member
  • Posts: 3
Re: Boyfriend tested positive
« Reply #5 on: November 09, 2014, 02:15:28 pm »
Thanks--I know you're right, I just wish everything made more sense, but I guess it never will. Such is life.

Offline mecch

  • Member
  • Posts: 13,455
  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: Boyfriend tested positive
« Reply #6 on: November 09, 2014, 05:33:41 pm »
Had all confirmations done. I understand how hiv is transmitted but we've gone over and over and he swears he has not cheated on me. And honestly I believe him--Im not really looking for a ton of people to say it's impossible and that he cheated because I've been through all of that. I guess I just wanted to send this out into the world bc I'm waiting to see a therapist and in the mean time I don't feel like any of my friends understand what I'm going through. Thanks :)

Seroconversion sucks for sure.
Have you told any friends? Asked for support?
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 34,126
Re: Boyfriend tested positive
« Reply #7 on: November 11, 2014, 10:15:41 am »
Franco, take your time with disclosing to others. If you want to talk and get support, there are ASOs which can provide that kind of experienced and informed help. Seeing a therapist can be helpful of course.

It's important to clarify your status whether negative or positive.

Take all the time you need to sort things out. And of course you're always welcome here to talk about whatever is on your mind. 

Just keep going...

Andy
Andy Velez

Offline Exruton

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  • Posts: 9
Re: Boyfriend tested positive
« Reply #8 on: November 16, 2014, 12:44:14 am »
I'm sorry to hear, please keep us updated

Offline Jeff G

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  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: Boyfriend tested positive
« Reply #9 on: November 16, 2014, 12:48:12 am »
I'm sorry to hear, please keep us updated

Please introduce yourself … do you have HIV ?
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HIV Transmission and Risks
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