Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
November 19, 2017, 09:25:19 PM

Login with username, password and session length

  • Total Posts: 722476
  • Total Topics: 58709
  • Online Today: 336
  • Online Ever: 1421
  • (August 13, 2016, 05:18:44 AM)
Users Online


Welcome to the POZ Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Welcome to Am I Infected

Welcome to the "Am I Infected?" POZ forum.

New members -- those who have posted three or fewer messages -- are permitted to post questions and responses, free of charge (make them count!). Ongoing participation in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- posting more than three questions or responses -- requires a paid subscription.

A seven-day subscription is $9.99, a 30-day subscription is $14.99 and a 90-day subscription is $24.99.

Anyone who needs to post more than three messages in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- including past, present and future POZ Forums members -- will need to subscribe, with secure payments made via PayPal.

There will be no charge to continue reading threads in the "Am I Infected?" forum, nor will there be a charge for participating in any of the Main Forums; Meds, Mind, Body & Benefits; and Off Topic Forums. Similarly, all POZ pages, including our "HIV Transmission and Risks" and "Am I Infected? (A Guide to Testing for HIV)" basics, will remain accessible to all.

NOTE: HIV testing questions will still need to be posted in the "Am I Infected?" forum; attempts to post HIV symptoms or testing questions in any other forums will be considered violations of our rules of membership and subject to time-outs and permanent bans.

To learn how to upgrade your Forums account to participate beyond three posts in the "Am I Infected?" Forum, please click here.

Thank you for your understanding and future support of the best online support service for people living with, affected by and at risk for HIV.

Author Topic: Extremely Frightened  (Read 2734 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline DazedNConfused

  • New Member
  • Posts: 1
Extremely Frightened
« on: November 04, 2006, 11:43:08 PM »
A guy I once had a few oral sessions with (with ejaculation in the mouth) 2 years ago called me to tell me he learned he is HIV+. I am the laster person he had sexual contact with so he is sure he was positive at the time of our encounters. Now, I know oral sex is low on the risk chain, and us having 2 contacts means my chance is supposed to be low, but at the times I do recall having a cavity in my mouth, which was prone to bleeding every once in a while. I'm horribly frightened as I am not going to have my test until Monday due to the weekend, but I am so terribly scared it will come back +. If it is, I have a current fiancee that I will have probably infected as well. Reading the main article just posted today saying the average price of treatment is 2100 a month, there's no way we could handle 4200 on meds for the both of us. I also don't think I could live with the fact that I have quite literally opened the door to her death....I have even read that I am only expected to live for 10 years since the infection, meaning i could die in about 8 years. This is surreal to me, I am literally counting the hours on monday until my tests come back. I don't know if i can live with the fact I may have killed the person I love most, who's only crime was loving me....there's no way at all we can even remotely come up with that kind of cash, we have a combined income of 2800 a month!

I don't know what i'm trying to get at, or what i'm trying to accomplish by posting this. I havent slept in 3 days and am in a constant state of absolute horror and fear that I have less than 8 years to live, and due to our financial situation I will no be able to save our lives. I guess I need to just vent, and I know I am probably jumping the gun here, but I have a near obsessive compulsion to get info and facts instead of running off of this paranoia in my mind, so that I may prepare myself for the worst case scenario if it does show to be true on monday.

I have had some symptoms that scare me, lately I have gotten itchy rashes when i have never had rashes before in my entire life. Though I did just start a warehouse job that is the only seriously physically strenuous job i've had, and get sweaty which i never have had to deal with at work either. This passed week I got sick with a dry cough, Diarrhea this whole week, being excessively tired and fatigued for no aparent reason, and sudden night sweats and chest pains. I am thinking the hot->cold->hot->cold flashes I am getting and my chest pains are due to the extreme amount of anxiety i'm going through, and the other sickness symptoms are from being sick.
« Last Edit: November 05, 2006, 12:04:09 AM by DazedNConfused »

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,288
Re: Extremely Frightened
« Reply #1 on: November 05, 2006, 12:02:21 AM »
If you think you need to test then test. As for dieing in 10 years, only if you have a car crash or get hit by a flying bullet by a drive by. I've been positive for 22 years. If you are contemplating suicide, this is not the place for you. You should seek the help of a mental health professional. Even if you have a positive result, there are programs that will help with the medication. Don't get the cart before the horse.

Offline Queen Tokelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,033
  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: Extremely Frightened
« Reply #2 on: November 05, 2006, 04:04:13 AM »
I agree with Rod, you will live longer than 10 yrs. Hell, if there was a 10 yr limit, I would have one foot on a banana peel since I have been poz for 9 yrs already w/o meds. Just a lil joke, to try to cheer you up. I hope you will get tested so that you can put your mind at ease.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,138
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Extremely Frightened
« Reply #3 on: November 05, 2006, 06:30:14 AM »

There have been long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but not for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one. This shows us two things. One, condoms are very effective for the prevention of hiv transmission. Two, oral sex is much lower risk than previously believed. We now have the evidence that oral sex is a very low risk activity where hiv transmission is concerned.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Get tested and put your mind at rest. As long as you've not been having unprotected intercourse with anyone, the chances of you testing negative are excellent.

Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts


Terms of Membership for these forums

© 2017 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.