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Author Topic: Serodiscordant/Magnetic Couple - Curiosities  (Read 2729 times)

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Offline runner24

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Serodiscordant/Magnetic Couple - Curiosities
« on: May 25, 2014, 05:15:21 pm »
Hello. I'm a 23 year old male and I recently met a 35 year old male who happens to be the most amazing man ever.

Weíve been dating for about 5 months. During the third month, he briefly stopped talking to me. He had just found out that he is H+. His doctor ordered an HIV test after he had been sick (increased fatigue, etc.) for the last few months and all other results came back negative. Therefore, his doctor says that he has been living with it for a few years, seeing as how he has began to show these types of symptoms. I was fearful, but I was tested and Iím H-.

We have continued dating, despite my best friend calling me stupid/crazy. I know that he didnít purposefully put me at risk, especially after he was kicking himself about that possibility. We have never had intercourse, only oral.

Knowing that I'm beginning to love him, I'm curious about the difficulties of being in such a relationship. I donít know all the realities (socially, daily life, etc.), but I'm willing to try with him. I'm also curious about sex. I have a difficult time with intercourse (I was molested as a child) - he knows that and is perfectly fine with waiting until I am ready. When we (or I for that matter) are ready, I would like for it to be as safe and enjoyable as possible.

Does anyone have any advice?

Offline pittman

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Re: Serodiscordant/Magnetic Couple - Curiosities
« Reply #1 on: June 02, 2014, 11:34:11 pm »
Not sure what advice you are seeking exactly, if it's just the risk aspect or what. You have a lot of detail in your intro and it's not clear what parts you want addressed.

I will just say that you can have safe sex with someone who is HIV+.  Condoms work and once he is on treatment AND consistantly undetectable, then transmission becomes very, very unlikely.  You can take PrEP as yet another option.

Read these forums and you will see many couples who have navigated this and find lots of information.  My partner is negative and this just isn't an issue for us at all.

Offline magneticlove

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  • Posts: 18
Re: Serodiscordant/Magnetic Couple - Curiosities
« Reply #2 on: June 06, 2014, 09:26:11 pm »
I'm not sure what you're looking for either, but I can tell you that the rewards of being with a partner who loves you unconditionally outweigh any fears I have, especially given our extremely low risk due to him being in meds and undetectable and me being in  Truvada for PrEP. At the same time, only you can answer the question of "how much risk is too much risk?", and also learning ways to manage those risks.
Boyfriend <3 = positive, undetectable, on ARV's
Me = negative, on Truvada for PrEP


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