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Author Topic: Please forgive these questions, but I need your advice please  (Read 2010 times)

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Offline MikeWho292

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 Greetings everyone,
Please forgive my questions. My education regarding HIV and STDs is very limited and subject to some religious influence -' sex is sin ' and a little taboo.

I have visited some massage parlours. A couple of things have happened during these visits that have me worried about transmission.

1) I rubbed the women's vulva. Some fluid, and I vigorously touched myself too and worried I rubbed it in my urethra.

2) One of the ladies had touched herself, then applied some massage oil, and massaged my back and masturbated my penis. I had several hour old cuts on my back from pets. I'm worried that if she had fluids these could infect me.

3) during some talking a bit of spit (not sure if blood was present) landed in my eye.

4) one of the ladies was very sweaty due to poor air-conditioning and sweat also landed in my eye.

5) The same lady also inserted her sweaty finger into my bum. I am unsure if there was cuts on her finger or saliva or vaginal fluid at the time.

6) one woman licked my penis - not sucked.

7) I deeply kissed one of the ladies.

8. ) one of the toilets had clear fluid with spots in it. Unsure what it was, but I wiped it off with toilet paper but worried I accidentally touched my penis head.

9) My nipples were sucked and I sucked the ladies nipples for long times. Was the most common activity.

Protected oral sex was sometimes performed but I'm not worried about that.

I have been advised to test anytime past 6 weeks as we have a very good test in my country that tests for antibody and antigen, with 12 weeks being 100% no worries.
I have met a woman who is most wonderful, but I am fearful that my activities will have put me at risk and that I will be rejected on what I've done in the past.

I'm very sorry for my million questions, but having the opportunity to have expert answers on my worries is very reassuring.

Thankyou for your time.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Please forgive these questions, but I need your advice please
« Reply #1 on: April 01, 2014, 09:18:34 AM »
Mike, let's keep this as simple as possible. Sexually the ONLY confirmed risks for the transmission of HIV are unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. As long as condoms are consistently used for those activities you will be effectively protected.

HIV is a fragile virus. It is not passed in any of the many other ways you have asked about. There's no need for HIV testing at this point.

You do need to also know that other stds are more easily transmitted than HIV. So we advise anyone who is sexually active that at least once a year you should get tested for all stds. By doing that you will always know your accurate status.

Andy Velez

Offline MikeWho292

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Re: Please forgive these questions, but I need your advice please
« Reply #2 on: April 05, 2014, 12:01:13 AM »
Thankyou Andy your very quick response!

I've been trying to stay away from the web, as there seems to be a huge amount of conflicting and outdated information on hiv.

Your replies were very reassuring. I'd pretty much convinced myself that I was at a high risk/ caught the virus in my hysteria over my concerns.

So I really don't need to test specifically for the events I described in my post? There was no risk for hiv? Sorry to ask again, I had worked myself up way too much over these concerns.

Offline Ann

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Re: Please forgive these questions, but I need your advice please
« Reply #3 on: April 05, 2014, 05:01:08 AM »

The answers to each of your specific questions are as follows:


You did NOT have a risk for anything you are worrying about. Not only that, but even if you got a blowjob without a condom, you still would not have had a risk for hiv infection.

As Andy told you, the only true sexual risks for hiv infection are unprotected anal and unprotected vaginal intercourse. The rest is hysteria.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST FOR HIV SPECIFICALLY FOLLOWING THIS ENCOUNTER, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline MikeWho292

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Re: Please forgive these questions, but I need your advice please
« Reply #4 on: April 09, 2014, 01:40:40 PM »
Thankyou Ann for your reply to my questions too.

If I could ask one more question, that would be great and I can finally put these worries behind me.
I'm pretty sure it's still nothing to be concerned about but who better to ask?

I engaged in some mutual masturbation just recently. I touched her privates then her breasts whilst she touched my privates. However at one point she cut my shaft below the head with her fingernails. In the heat of the moment, I didn't examine it and wasn't sure it was cut at the time. She then put a heap of massage oil on her chest and I proceeded to engage in breast sex (unsure of the word for this ).
After we finished we showered together and all was good.

However I noticed that my penis had the cut and I'd previously touched her privates then rubbed the injured penis where I touched her breasts.

I'm sure given the nature of my concern and the responses to my previous questions that there still no risk, but as I had a cut naturally am a little concerned.

After this, I can let go of all my worries as I will be fully informed and should have no need to ask these questions again. Safe sex is important to me so condoms will always be used.

Thankyou so much for answering my questions Andy and Ann. I really appreciate you both taking the time to answer what must be silly questions. You provide an excellent educated service and are very patient with fellow worry warts who like me have not much knowledge on HIV.

Thanks again,

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Please forgive these questions, but I need your advice please
« Reply #5 on: April 09, 2014, 05:02:04 PM »
HIV is unable to reproduce outside its living host (unlike many bacteria or fungi, which may do so under suitable conditions), except under laboratory conditions; therefore, it does not spread or maintain infectiousness outside its host.
HIV is transmitted by;
Unprotected penetrative anal and/or vaginal sex
Sharing works with other IV drug users
Mother to child


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