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Author Topic: Anxiety was driving me crazy  (Read 1439 times)

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Offline automovile

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Anxiety was driving me crazy
« on: January 02, 2014, 10:34:51 PM »
First of all, I have to inform that this post is more like an oath that I made to myself. I would do my history and youíll see why.

At the middle of 2013 I decided to give a twist to my life, I choose to go freelance and enjoy my life in the process. I had a relationship with my girlfriend but still insisted in have an affair with a coworker before I leave where I used to work. So, I engaged in a relationship with this girl and have sex twice with her.

On the first time, I penetrate her without condom. I trick myself believing that she had a child months ago so it would be very unlikely that she should had any std. After some weeks, I have another encounter with her, and used a condom, but at that time I had a big yeast infection all over my groin and an itchy sensation on my penis and scotum  was also present. To make the things worst I realize that this girl was seeing 2 more guy beside me at the same time. After this, a guilt feeling was taking control of me. I did hiv test at week 1 and 6 of last encounter and both results were negative. Right after the 6 weeks test I developed a sore throat for 3 weeks and diarrhea for one week. These symptoms onset cause me to be so scare that I had to wait another 3 months and go to a psychologist to deal with my hiv fears. After this (4.5 months) I did an antibody and western blot test, all negative, thanks god.

There were a lot of lessons learned of this episode for me, my freelance attempt was a complete failure since seclusion was the only logical behavior for me  because my mind was so busy on thinking on how Iím going to live with hiv, what would happen to my gf, is she infected?, how long I would live, how I would cope with the discrimination, how I could afford the medicines (I live outside USA in a developing country), How to tell to my family this possibility (which is very religious). I started to search all the internet forums and sites regarding the topic and I can affirm that this forums was one of the best resources I could find. I still have a lot of challenges for this year, I have to recover and take my life on track again. I have some health problems that I have to confirm are due the excessive stress and depression I have to deal or there is really something wrong in me; my relationship with my gf is severely shattered and I run out of money without a job.

Still, my perception of life change deeply and Iím trying to recover the joy of living and be grateful for every minute I breath. Because of this, as a way to put part of this episode behind, I would like to give to this forum staff and frequent collaborators a big thank you for the hard work you do and be a source of inspiration.

I create this post because I felt a big necessity of share my experience and tell everybody that symptoms are nothing, only a test is conclusive and unprotected sex is too dangerous to worth the risk.

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Anxiety was driving me crazy
« Reply #1 on: January 02, 2014, 10:50:35 PM »
Congratulations on your negative HIV test .

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than HIV. Some of the other STDs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid HIV infection. It really is that simple!
HIV 101 - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
You can read more about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline Ann

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Re: Anxiety was driving me crazy
« Reply #2 on: January 03, 2014, 06:02:46 AM »

After some weeks, I have another encounter with her, and used a condom, but at that time I had a big yeast infection all over my groin and an itchy sensation on my penis and scotum  was also present.

EW, seriously? You need to start putting equal weight on what you might be giving to others when you have intimate contact with them. If you've got something like that going on between your legs, the last thing you should be doing is having sex with someone else, condoms or no condoms.

Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts


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