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Author Topic: Stupidly "dipped" now frightened.  (Read 2972 times)

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Offline Mostly_Harmless

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Stupidly "dipped" now frightened.
« on: November 14, 2013, 12:51:55 AM »
About 2 months ago, I was with my ex boyfriend of 3 months. We were fooling around - cuddling naked, and he pushed himself onto me. I entered him for about 20 seconds unprotected before pulling out. I then put on a condom, and continued. We also engaged in unprotected oral sex.
I had since learned that 1: he cheated on me, and 2: he hasn't been tested in a while. He claims he's usually a top, but doesn't protect himself when he's topping, only when he's bottoming (didn't know this at the time)
Needless to say I was pissed about everything since we had spoken in advance and he claimed he was STI free.
Now I'm terrified that those 20 seconds may have changed my life drastically.
On top of that, I'm a bit of a hypochondriac, and I had a sore throat with swollen nodes in my neck only, about 2-3 weeks after the incident (the sore throat only lasted a couple of days). I know that this may be a symptom of ARS, but it can also be caused by countless other things, and the fact that the nodes were locally swollen give me hope.
I'm going for a test soon - made an appointment, but I'm just worried. What is the likelihood that I will test poz (assuming he is - I don't even know his status atm)?

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Stupidly "dipped" now frightened.
« Reply #1 on: November 14, 2013, 01:34:14 AM »
Your risk, though real, was very small. As the insertive partner, your risk in unprotected sex is MUCH smaller than the receptive partner. But from your description, you might want to test at the three month window for peace of mind.

Of course, the unprotected oral was not a risk for HIV, but if your boyfriend has ANY other STDs they can be passed through the activities you described.

My recommendation is that you wait until the three month mark (which, besides still being the global standard for HIV testing is also the window period of syphilis) and get a full STD panel. You could test now and be almost certain of the results (a six week test is all but definitive) but your statement about hypochondria makes me believe that you will not be completely at peace until a definitive battery of tests at the conservative testing window.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

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Offline Mostly_Harmless

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Re: Stupidly "dipped" now frightened.
« Reply #2 on: November 14, 2013, 01:47:58 AM »
Thanks for such a quick reply.
Yeah, I do want to wait for the 3 month mark since I KNOW that I will still worry if I take the test now (my appointment is in a couple of weeks, at the 3 month mark).
I think I just needed somebody else to tell me that although there was a risk, it was low. Reading things on the internet, coupled with hypochondria, is a dangerous mix, but my curiosity always gets the better of me. Maybe I should get help with that XD.
My appointment does include a whole STD scan since I'm due anyways.
I just feel so damn stupid for those few seconds... Can't take things back now obviously.

Offline Mostly_Harmless

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Re: Stupidly "dipped" now frightened.
« Reply #3 on: December 02, 2013, 09:50:48 PM »
Long story short, I'm a hypochondriac, so I wanted to wait the full 3 months before I get tested for ease of mind.
My incident happened close to 3 months ago. I was with a guy, HIV status unknown. I topped without a condom for about 20 seconds. Stopped, put a condom on, and then continued. When I went in condom-less, I did not fully penetrate. Had unprotected oral sex with him, and had unprotected oral sex with another guy since then (but I see that the consensus is that oral sex is not a risk factor or HIV)

Anyways, after about 2 weeks I had a sore throat for about 2 days, swollen nodes in the neck only, but that's about it.

Fast-forward to now and I'm getting sick. I have a small irregular rash on the left side of my stomach - about 4-5cm wide, 2 cm tall. It's not itchy, but slightly raised and a little flaky.

I have small red bumps on my penis and foreskin, but I think it's most likely a friction rash (the rash on my foreskin is in the same spot that it hits my penis head, which has the same rash on it). It doesn't seem to be herpes as it is not itchy or painful (just a VERY slight burn once in a while).

I just found a white spot on the back of my throat which probably means I'm gonan get sick soon....

I know ARS symptoms are very vague, but do symptoms usually appear this late, and are my symptoms agree with the ARS symptoms.

I'm scheduled to get tested soon, so hopefully all goes well, but I just continuously worry.

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Stupidly "dipped" now frightened.
« Reply #4 on: December 02, 2013, 10:00:24 PM »
Please only post in this one thread no matter how long its been or the subject matter . You can go to your profile and select show own post and it will take you here .

Your symptoms are not specific to hiv and could be cause by many other conditions other than HIV , so test at 3 months and put this behind you . JK already did a bang-up good job answering your concerns so read that again , best .
HIV 101 - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
You can read more about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
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