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Author Topic: How do you stay having a positive mindset?  (Read 2669 times)

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Offline Jose0205

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How do you stay having a positive mindset?
« on: October 22, 2013, 08:43:56 PM »
So I was recently diagnosed a month ago being poz.
I went through the being depressed stage, and it was a point where I wanted to just crash my car into lake and killing myself.

After doing research and going to a support group I'm learning I can survive with this and that it isn't as bad as it seems.
Right now I accepted my status.

I'm feeling good right now. But I don't wanna fall back into that trap of depression or self pity. I always have these thoughts in the back of my head, that I can never follow my dream of joining the military, or that no one will love me for having hiv.

Do you ever get thoughts like that? What makes you stay positive and to continue to keep fighting?

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: How do you stay having a positive mindset?
« Reply #1 on: October 23, 2013, 12:40:50 AM »
First of all, I'd say you're going through the very normal emotions most of us went through during the first several months after one's diagnosis. Quite simply some days are better than others. I think it's important not to allow yourself to become isolated, so try and get out and do the same activities you used to do with your close friends, etc.

Maybe look at the military issue as if one door closes, another will open for you down the line when you least expect it, and it possibly will be a much better alternative. I also see from an older posting you made that you are only 21, so there's also all that youthful processing of life in general still going on with you.

It's really great that you were quickly pro-active in attending a support group. Are you still going, and if so how often? Do you think you got much out of attending. Did you speak out much or did you tend to sit at the back of the room and just listen?

The bottom line is that getting depressed about your new reality serves no logical purpose, which I assume you have figure out. If you feel these down emotions are becoming more frequent and deeper you might want to consider seeking out the services of a professional therapist, and hopefully your medical insurance allows a fair amount of visits each year (there are often caps).

Some people take their minds off it all by working out, or meditating, or volunteering -- just really varies depending on your personality. While I am old now (48) I was diagnosed in my 20's and agree that at that age it's difficult as you are in the early days of navigating dating, etc. Not sure if you are gay and/or live in a largish metropolitan area but there are often groups geared more to your specific age group, and it's healthy to meet someone (non-sexual perhaps) that you can commiserate with.

I'm sure you will end up doing fine mentally more than you can imagine at this point.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Jose0205

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Re: How do you stay having a positive mindset?
« Reply #2 on: October 23, 2013, 03:05:21 AM »
Thank you. Even though the military isn't a option for me yet, I'm staying optimistic that something else is meant for me.

I like my support group a lot. We meet every second Thursday. I meet other poz people and its nice to know I'm not going through this alone. I was down on myself for awhile until I realized millions of people are surviving with HIV.

But like you said some days are better than others. But overall I feel okay. I also agree with what you said about keeping busy. That's what I've been trying to do. I'm starting Yoga, and I've also been reading a lot more. Those do help a lot

Offline Theyer

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Re: How do you stay having a positive mindset?
« Reply #3 on: October 23, 2013, 05:42:35 PM »
I don,t think I would loose money on betting That you will have a fulfilling , interesting life. You have made a sound start , with building up your support networks.

In terms off the range off HIV infection I am at the opposite end off the scale , in  age, time living with HIV , and the effect in has on ones day to day health.

One off the things I get huge pleasure from ,  and as I am not working  , it is possible for me to drop what I am doing and get out and enjoy good weather , great pick you up . In fact see summer into fall thread.

So being flexable and grabbing oppertunities help me stay buoyant.

Take care
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn


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