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Author Topic: Worried sick, receptive partner  (Read 1644 times)

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Offline mt2

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Worried sick, receptive partner
« on: October 22, 2013, 04:49:11 AM »
Hi All,

I identify as hetrosexual and throughout my life this is the only type of intercourse I have indulged in. However about 12 months ago I discovered an interest in TS woman and have pursued it to some degree over the last year as an insertive partner. - Always protected with careful inspection post intercourse.

There is 1 TS woman who i've built up some trust with and became a regular visitor of hers as I'd prefer that than random multiple partners. I've always practiced safe sex and despite this after each time post intercourse I experience extreme anxiety and guilt which usually passes after a couple of weeks. Recently she was the insertive partner for the first time and this has left me completely freaked out as I know this is the most risky. She wore protection and it only lasted about 20 seconds before i stopped her (she didn't come). When she removed the condom I never viewed it but did ask "is everything ok?" to which she agreed it was. My concerns stems from a weird 'snap' sound i heard on withdrawal.

Since then i've been in panic mode thinking "did it break, did she lie, is she HIV+ etc etc" I finally decided to call her and express my concern. She told me she's well aware of the risks associated with this type of intercourse and tests every 6 months aswell as always using condoms and I shouldn't worry.

I'm still in the window to get PEP if I need it but it's fast running out. Do you think I should get it as a precaution or accept this woman's reassurances? Please help I'm absolutely sick with worry.

Offline Ann

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Re: Worried sick, receptive partner
« Reply #1 on: October 22, 2013, 07:17:02 AM »

Protected intercourse is NOT a risk for hiv infection. Nothing you have written leads me to believe that a broken condom was involved.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST FOR HIV SPECIFICALLY OVER A NO RISK INCIDENT, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline mt2

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Re: Worried sick, receptive partner
« Reply #2 on: October 22, 2013, 10:23:29 PM »
Thanks for your reply Ann.

Given I cannot be 100% sure it did not break, do you think I should seek PEP (last few hours now) ? OR based on my partners comments that she tests reguarly, always uses protection and told me it didn't break I can assume I've had a no-risk situation?

Is PEP as a precaution to drastic in this instance?

Offline Joe K

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Re: Worried sick, receptive partner
« Reply #3 on: October 22, 2013, 11:18:16 PM »
Please read Ann's reply again.  Condoms are made to fail in a way, that there is no doubt that it has failed.  Your condom did not fail and you did not have a risk.  You do not need PEP, as you did not have a risk.



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