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Author Topic: Refused HIV Test by London GU Clinic - very worried about HIV risk now  (Read 3181 times)

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Offline PussFlakes

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three months ago I met with two anonymous guys who attempted to penetrate me, using condoms.  I'm a guy, btw.

With the first guy, the condom broke just as he was trying to insert.  We immediately stopped and he changed the condom and tried again but I panicked and left quickly afterwards.  There was no penetration and no ejaculation.

With the second guy - this was about 4 days later - he put on a condom and penetrated me for about 2 minutes.  As he tried to withdraw, there was a popping noise and I felt an odd sensation.  He was definitely out (not inserted) and he said he had not ejaculated.  But the condom had broken.  I think it had broken just at the point that he was withdrawing.  I panicked.  There was a small bit of the condom detached and stuck to his stomach.  He left.  Afterwards I examined the condom and there was indeed a smallish hole, not at the very tip, but about an inch up the tip.  There did not appear to be any fluids in the condom, it appeared clean on the inside.

Prior to this, I had also been having lots of anonymous sex with guys.  I had about 40 fucks with guys, but always using condoms and 95% of the time me being the passive victim.
When I got back to London, I took an HIV test at 6 weeks.  It was one of those fingerprick rapid tests that gives a result in 60 seconds by either revealing one dot (for negative) or two dots (for reactive).

The test result was negative.  The clinic said that as I had tested at 6 weeks post exposure, I did not need to test again and that it was conclusive.

However, the advice on every enquiry on this site states that one can test at 6 weeks, but to go back at 3 months to confirm that result.

So I went yesterday to get an HIV test at the same London clinic.  Imagine my surprise, when they refused to give me a test. :'(

I haven't stopped thinking about this incident and worrying and they flatly refused to give me an HIV test saying that by doing so they were just fueling my anxiety.

It fuels my anxiety NOT to have an HIV test at 3 months.  I am disgusted by the clinic's actions.

Can you please tell me what you think I should do?  I've read time and time again that the advice is that a 6 week test is reassuring and unlikely to change BUT - and it's a small word with a big presence - BUT to test at 3 months just to confirm that result.

I told the person I saw at that clinic the advice that is dispensed on this site and she said every GU clinic has different policies but that their policy was that their rapid tests are so highly sensitive that they will detect all infections by 4-6 weeks, with 6 weeks being the very maximum someone has to wait.

This still does not accord with the advice dispensed here.

To save me from a very anxious weekend, please could you give me your views on

(1) did I have a risk in the first place when I describe two broken condoms and 40 anonymous partners

(2) do I need further testing?  Really, do I need it, now in 2013?

Thank you very much

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Refused HIV Test by London GU Clinic - very worried about HIV risk now
« Reply #1 on: October 12, 2013, 06:22:00 AM »
Page 11
  In an adult, a positive HIV antibody test result means that the person is infected, a person with a negative or inconclusive result may be in the “window for 4 to 6 weeks but occasionally up to 3 months after HIV exposure. Persons at high risk who initially test negative should be retested 3 months after exposure to confirm results

UK Fourth Generation  Testing
Post testing
Page 11
The need for a repeat HIV test if still within the window period after a specific exposure should be discussed. Although fourth generation tests shorten the time from exposure to seroconversion a repeat test at three months is still recommended to definitively exclude HIV infection.

Offline PussFlakes

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Re: Refused HIV Test by London GU Clinic - very worried about HIV risk now
« Reply #2 on: October 21, 2013, 04:20:34 PM »
Hi RapidRod,

thanks for your reply.  I now have a query about something completely different.  Please can you help and tell me what risk this is:-

Thirty minutes ago I met a guy at a gay sauna.  He massaged his own dick and all the time he was putting on loads of lube (not KY jelly but the proper lube that comes with condoms that are given away freely at gay saunas, sex clubs etc).

I know that you cannot catch HIV from lube from a packet (it does not survive in lube and manufacturers do not produce HIV positive lube) but what concerns me is the lube came into contact with his penis.

As he was massaging his own dick, he was also masturbating me.  I was erect and he kept stroking the head of my dick, touching the end.  This really worried me as his hands were slick with lube from his own dick.

I am uncircumcised so because of this I have a bit of protection from direct contact with the lube, but please could you tell me what sort of risk this is?

He was stroking his own dick with lube and then stroking mine. 

1. Could he transmit HIV to me if he was giving off pre-cum which mixed up with the lube?

2. What if he was HIV positive and he was giving off pre-cum and this mixed with the lube and then when he stroked my penis, this entered the tip of my penis and infected me?

3. Do I need PEP?

4. Do I need an HIV test?

5. Should I be worried?

6. Have I exposed myself to HIV?

I thought it better to cum quickly as I had heard that the act of cumming pushes any infection out of the penis.  I then very quickly urinated afterwards and went to the shower and spent an hour washing my genitals with hot water and soap.

Please tell me what you think.   I have paranoid schizophrenia and immediately after I had sex with this guy, a song came on the radio, Britney Spears' Toxic.  I couldn't help but think that the significance of this song - Toxic - being on the radio at that time and place - was a clear unambiguous signal that the guy I met was toxic (ie a slang term often used here in London by guys who bareback to indicate they're HIV positive).

It really worries me when guys are not careful about their own bodily fluids, even when just masturbating with these guys.  It freaks me out when they get a bit of pre-cum on their hand and if it goes near me.  Once, a long time ago, a guy ejaculated and a tiny speckle of cum landed near my penis.  I have since had HIV tests to eliminate infection from this incident but I'm very worried about tonight's incident.

Please kindly advise me.

Please could you tell me what you think

5. Any risk at all?

The incident lasted no more than 5 minutes and, although it felt nice at the time to be admired by this guy - he was 25 years old, black, tattooed and looked like a porn star - I feel dirty and filthy and very ugly now, like I deserved to now have a 6-week wait to get an HIV test because I could not stay at home and be a good person, instead of driving 30 miles from the countryside to a sex club in London to have sex with a stranger.

thank you
« Last Edit: October 21, 2013, 04:25:40 PM by PussFlakes »

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Refused HIV Test by London GU Clinic - very worried about HIV risk now
« Reply #3 on: October 21, 2013, 04:48:09 PM »
There was nothing in your new concern that was a risk for HIV and you do not need pep for this no risk incident .

Just follow through on the advice Rod gave you and you will be OK . I urge you to talk to your doctor and or therapist about your fear of HIV . There is only so much we can do to reassure you . Here are the risk factors for HIV ....

Sharing IV drug needles immediately after use.
Unprotected anal and vaginal sex.
Mother to child during or shortly after birth
Very specific healthcare situations.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple! . 
HIV 101 - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
You can read more about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Refused HIV Test by London GU Clinic - very worried about HIV risk now
« Reply #4 on: October 22, 2013, 06:48:50 AM »

Hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus that is primarily transmitted INSIDE the human body, as in unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse where the virus never leaves the confines of the two bodies.

Once outside the body, small changes in temperature, and pH and moisture levels all quickly damage the virus and render it unable to infect. For this reason, you could have used his precum alone as masturbation lube and it would not have been a risk for hiv infection.

Mutual masturbation is NOT a risk for hiv infection.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline PussFlakes

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Re: Refused HIV Test by London GU Clinic - very worried about HIV risk now
« Reply #5 on: October 23, 2013, 08:34:28 AM »
Hi Ann, Hi Jeff

thanks both for your replies.

I feel much reassured now.  It's always good to have the use of your advice on here.

(PS Ann - I like your cat theme on your profile - I love cats too, they're great companions.    I hope it's okay to say this but I'm envious of you working with such cute-looking guys like Jeff, Andy and RapidRod.  It must sure be a distraction....  ;))

bye for now, and thanks for all your help and kindness.  I'm wishing you all a fantastic week.

P xx


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