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Author Topic: maybe im dieing but isnt everyone  (Read 1116 times)

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Offline 2tcells

  • Member
  • Posts: 246
maybe im dieing but isnt everyone
« on: September 27, 2013, 03:30:45 AM »
So maybe I'm dieing from aids but not today, and every living thing is dieing at some pace. I have all this to deal with how do i help a father who will die in the near future due to sevier alcoholism? If anyone should have a reason to die from addiction it should be me i did meth all day everyday for 5 years been off it for 4 years i don't get what my dad's problems is and idont think he knows either. I tell him to just keep trying his hardest to stop maybe i have done all i can maybe i havent done enough. I fear when he dies i will alwaysfeel i didn't do all could but what is there to do i don't want him to think i gave up on him like everyone else did
7-4-13 diagnosed   cd4- 2      vl-220,600
8-3-13                     cd4- 4      vl- 448
9-3-13                     cd4- 40    vl- ud
11-3-13                   cd4- 54    vl-ud
1-9-14                     cd4- 62    vl- 43
4-3-14                     cd4- 110  vl-ud
8-5-14                     cd4- 95    vl-ud
9-23-14                   cd4- 97    vl-ud
1-22-15                   cd4- 156  vl-ud
4-14-15                   cd4- 122  vl-ud
6-12-15                   cd4- 148  vl-?
8-15-15 start stribild
9-3-15                     cd4- 152 vl-ud
11-25-15                  cd4- 211 vl-20
2-17-16                   cd-4 194 vl-ud
4-1-16 start genvoya
5-10-16                   cd-4 220 vl-ud
9-19-16                   cd-4 182 vl-ud
12-2016                  cd-4  267!vl-ud

Offline Theyer

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,695
  • Current ambition. Walk the Dog .
Re: maybe im dieing but isnt everyone
« Reply #1 on: September 27, 2013, 04:53:48 AM »
Not giving up on someone will always consist of small moments, occasional big moments, but its unlikely there will be a moment when you sit back and feel contented about the whole thing.

To me that's what not giving up on someone is the ability to stay with that uncomfortable , messy position.

You ,and good on you, are grappling with your demons , staying away from Tina meth and because you are it will give you hope that others can too , human nature , the awful sad thing is some people can,t and I cannot imagine just how painfall that must be if that person is your Dad.

If he cannot NO WAY is this your failure.

As you know addicts are quite good at having others carry there pain.

Strength to you.


mod to say.  Welcome by the way, hope you find the forum useful , I do.
« Last Edit: September 27, 2013, 04:57:33 AM by Theyer »
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn


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