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Author Topic: my first post  (Read 2341 times)

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Offline aspire1

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  • Posts: 1
my first post
« on: September 14, 2013, 09:55:53 PM »
Hi all,

I am new in this community. Please bear with my English as it is not my first language.

So a bit about my status, my last negative test was in early June. I had the test then because my partner got tested poz and so I had the test and it came out negative. After 2 months, I had another test and it came out poz. My CD4 was 300 and VL was 230,000.  My doctor considered that the numbers are not stable at this stage so he wanted me to have another lab done in 3 months to decide if I need to start medication. I'm just wondering if my numbers are normal at the early stage of the infection.

At the moment, I feel depressed at times.. it may sound stupid that I know I am not dying but also feel that I am somewhat. I cant really focus on anything and nothing seems to be interesting to me anymore. I dont laugh anymore like I used to. I feel like I have no one to talk to and nothing to look forward to in life. I don't hate my partner but i am so disappointed and I also feel that I let my parents down ( i do not intend to tell any family members about my status). I hope these negative feelings go away so I can get on with life again but it seems so difficult at this moment.


Offline EUINAU

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Re: my first post
« Reply #1 on: September 15, 2013, 07:24:14 AM »
Hi Aspire1,

Well I have been infected and diagnosed only few months ago and I just want to say that this forum is a great place to learn more about HIV, it is great source of info and especially support from other members. You will see there are people on here living with HIV for over 30 years!

Read as much as you can and don't despair. After 2 months on meds i was almost undetectable. I only told my partner who is negative and have no intentions of telling anyone else. I do not think it defines who I am.

Offline moxieinme

  • Member
  • Posts: 91
Re: my first post
« Reply #2 on: September 15, 2013, 08:25:22 AM »
Welcome aspire!

I am sorry for what you are going through now. A positive HIV diagnosis is a life-changing event. As with all life-changing events, it comes with a mix of emotions, thoughts, and stress. Take things a step at a time. It's overwhelming now but the dust will settle and things will become clearer and more manageable. There is a wealth of support out there for you, and these Forums are very valuable. They have been a great help to me, and I only discovered them 24 years into my HIV.

Your numbers aren't bad, and your doctor is wise to take a cautious approach. It sounds like you have good medical resources available and that is wonderful; you are fortunate. If your next labs are similar then you will likely start a treatment regimen. Fortunately for you the science has advanced so far that they will find the right meds to accurately treat your strain of HIV. Plus, the current meds are much more finely tuned than in the past, so you are likely to have great success and fewer side effects. As a result, with well-managed HIV care you can expect to live a long and healthy life.

That said, I do understand the feeling of depression and perhaps a hint of fatality. And HIV diagnosis isn't something to take lightly. But over the coming months and years you will discover how strong and brave you are. You will discover a lot about yourself...and others. I hope someday you can reach out when you need support, including your family. I know there is stigma, but it will be nice when we won't let that interfere with seeking help and connecting with those we care about most.

I wish you the best. You'll do fine. You're off to a good start.

Salvage therapy wrangler, riding the poz bronco and dodging bullets for over 24 years.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
CD4 at diagnosis 1989 = 330
Began treatment (AZT) 1989
Lowest labs 1998: CD4=74, 7%, VL=750,000
First sustained undetectable VL in 20 years (2009); CD4=315
Current labs (12/13): CD4=637, 27%, VL=<20
Current meds: Prezista, Isentress, Intellence, Norvir


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